3 ms·

> I don't know about "hacking camps" (hackathons? code boot camps?) — never been to one — but a close cousin of these, [industry niche] startup events, tend to

> I don't know about "hacking camps" (hackathons? code boot camps?) — never been to one — but a close cousin of these, [industry niche] startup events, tend to attract just as many business cofounders as technical cofounders; and the business cofounders tend to be an even gender split. (They also attract seed-stage VC scouts and marketing people, and these jobs actually tend to lean female.) I think people are going to be weirded out by someone hitting on them at a business event.

derefr 4y ago
I'm not suggesting you do. You make connections, friends, people to work on things with. Then maybe something develops. However, I should note that as a technical cofounder attending these events, I've been approached and flirted with heavily by single female entrepreneurs who have ideas they haven't started building yet, who seem to be looking for a convenient all-in-one package of "a boyfriend who's also an entrepreneur, who can 'yes, and' my ambitions, and who has enough skill+experience to actually build the tech side of the things we imagine together." I'm neither single, nor a free agent business-wise, but some people can be both very pushy and presumptive.
atoav 4y ago
And rightly so. Why would you "hit on" someone who you don't know? The first step is always getting to know the other person. Hitting on the other person with romantic interest from the start is a sure way not to get to know them in a low pressure environment. If you get to know the other first, they also get to know you. Typically you'd be searching for someone you are willing to spend your time with, and who is willing to spend time with you. And this is only a feasible endeavour if you know them and they know you. That means: Your goal is not to find someone to "hit on", your goal is to get to know people. You can still explore if the other is interested in a little bit more, once it is established that you find them interesting and they find you interesting.
- meheleventyone 4y ago
  By hit on I meant attending with the goal of finding a romantic relationship. Even if you think you’re doing that subtly it’s not the goal of these events. The general advice of cultivate interests and meet new people is great but just divorce that from the expectation of finding romance. In particular targeting activities because of the expectation of increased romantic success seems particularly weird.

derefr 4y ago

I'm not suggesting you do. You make connections, friends, people to work on things with. Then maybe something develops. However, I should note that as a technical cofounder attending these events, I've been approached and flirted with heavily by single female entrepreneurs who have ideas they haven't started building yet, who seem to be looking for a convenient all-in-one package of "a boyfriend who's also an entrepreneur, who can 'yes, and' my ambitions, and who has enough skill+experience to actually build the tech side of the things we imagine together." I'm neither single, nor a free agent business-wise, but some people can be both very pushy and presumptive.

atoav 4y ago

And rightly so. Why would you "hit on" someone who you don't know? The first step is always getting to know the other person. Hitting on the other person with romantic interest from the start is a sure way not to get to know them in a low pressure environment. If you get to know the other first, they also get to know you. Typically you'd be searching for someone you are willing to spend your time with, and who is willing to spend time with you. And this is only a feasible endeavour if you know them and they know you. That means: Your goal is not to find someone to "hit on", your goal is to get to know people. You can still explore if the other is interested in a little bit more, once it is established that you find them interesting and they find you interesting.

meheleventyone 4y ago
By hit on I meant attending with the goal of finding a romantic relationship. Even if you think you’re doing that subtly it’s not the goal of these events. The general advice of cultivate interests and meet new people is great but just divorce that from the expectation of finding romance. In particular targeting activities because of the expectation of increased romantic success seems particularly weird.