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I would say your post sums up the collective experience of my circle of friends(including female friends) and myself perfectly. It's a weird situation: The aver
by Escapado 4y ago
I would say your post sums up the collective experience of my circle of friends(including female friends) and myself perfectly. It's a weird situation: The average woman between 20 and 40 gets approached relatively often (at least multiple times a year) and experiences a broad spectrum of guys hitting on her which necessitates strict selection. The average man between 20 and 40 may not even get approached at all, ever, and have to fight for attention, making it a numbers game where spray and pray might seem like one of the better strategies.
And this is kind of a self-perpetuating system.
I would also argue that you can work on your attractiveness but this can also easily take a toll on you and while working out and eating healthy are rather accessible for most people, making a lot of money or changing further features of themselves might not be. I have multiple friends who suffer from androgenic alopecia in their 30s or who have facial features which deviate so far from the norm that the only way to actually "fix" them would be to have plastic surgery.
Sometimes I wonder if the smart move would be to actually move somewhere where the societal norms around this are different.
- nemomarx 4y agoNot to sound callous, but as someone who's had plastic surgery in the past and is thinking about if I want anything else done, is it so bad to save up for or plan around? If something really gives you grief or you feel bad about your appearance, I think considering what you can do about it is probably helpful. My surgeon seemed to have a lot of clients in for hair loss and that's a big quality of life improvement to not have to worry about, I would think?
- Escapado 4y agoI do not disagree with you at all. In fact I think it's a smart choice. What I would like to highlight though is that it's less accessible and I would argue more sensible as a topic than eating healthy or working out. I don't think it should be but I think it is.
- gadders 4y agoI started going bald late 20's/early 30's and just started cutting my hair really short and then never gave it another thought. Being bald isn't unattractive - being self-conscious about being bald is.
- goethes_kind 4y agoBeing bald works well if you have a big frame/size. Then you just look very masculine. Unfortunately short guys are more likely to go bald and it works less well on short men.
- gadders 4y agoI'm 5ft 8 or so and stocky. I'm no giant.
- Escapado 4y agoI personally agree that it's not unattractive and being self-conscious about it can make it so. However seldomly people with a perfect hairline worry about that, and many balding people do so it's at least another thing to get the upper hand on. And it's also no suprise a lot of people fear it. Published data indicates that when women rate pictures of balding vs non-balding men, the former are rated worse and one could say the attitude one has would not have much of an impact on that. And it's the same with height, perceived fitness and wealth. What I am trying to say: It's simply not a level playing field and all these things add up.