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"“People just get fatigued. They get overwhelmed with the whole dating process,” said Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who is a senior research fellow

"“People just get fatigued. They get overwhelmed with the whole dating process,” said Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist who is a senior research fellow with the Kinsey Institute and chief science adviser to Match.com." I don't think this is dating app burnout, this is just dating burnout. Dating apps just make it easy to connect with potential matches (relative to not having dating app burnouts). And if you have dating burnout, take a break from dating! It's nice to just be ok with being single sometimes and enjoy other aspects of life. "Before she deleted the apps, she spent any moments of downtime swiping; after, she found she had time throughout the day to rest. ... But Dr. Turban believes that for some, simply deleting the apps is not enough. “It’s important to understand why the apps are causing problems for you,” he said, adding that therapists can be helpful for sorting these answers out. “Are you using the apps to self-soothe anxiety and inadvertently making your anxiety worse? Are you afraid you can’t attain love, so you’re settling for hookups, and that’s making you unhappy?” ... “People binge, and that is what exhausts them,” " Now this does represent burnout of dating apps, and is a result of just not using them with patience and reflection as to the emotions you associate with them. I generally view dating apps very positively (they, and in particular OkCupid, have led to numerous good relationships and friends) but as with anything it's possible to use them in an unhealthy way.

CuriouslyC 4y ago
The apps are garbage. The old okcupid was the best of them, but still not great, and it's ruined now (also, everyone has moved on to other apps that are worse). They're designed to maximize revenue rather than the happiness of the user. You also have to put in a shitload of work to make a slick profile, an in a lot of people's cases it's well worded bullshit. Profiles should be homogenous in form and style, and should include video Q/A in a fixed format so WYSIWYG. No clever bullshit, no editing images, just videos of your average self answering question.
- tevon 4y ago
  Go build it then!
  - tjoff 4y ago
    Building is the easy part. Getting traction is not.
grvdrm 4y ago
>I don't think this is dating app burnout, this is just dating burnout. Dating apps just make it easy to connect with potential matches (relative to not having dating app burnouts). And if you have dating burnout, take a break from dating! It's nice to just be ok with being single sometimes and enjoy other aspects of life. I was looking for a comment like this before I wrote one of my own! Completely agree! I'm a happily married guy, but used nearly every dating app that existed from 2004-2012. Everyone's talking about how dating apps suck. They were, for me, another way to meet folks during those years and probably how I met most women I dated. They had and still have their highs and lows. Apps don't magically solve dating. I think the real problem is the tunnel vision. You get sucked down the rabbit hole. Instead, spending time out with friends, exploring hobbies, and joining common-interest clubs are some of the ways that I was able to meet women when I least cared to meet them. And that's the real magic - I've always had the best relationships grow from the most chance encounters, in-person. Something that blossoms organically somehow. The apps can't really recreate that moment and subsequent sequence of good events.

CuriouslyC 4y ago

The apps are garbage. The old okcupid was the best of them, but still not great, and it's ruined now (also, everyone has moved on to other apps that are worse). They're designed to maximize revenue rather than the happiness of the user. You also have to put in a shitload of work to make a slick profile, an in a lot of people's cases it's well worded bullshit. Profiles should be homogenous in form and style, and should include video Q/A in a fixed format so WYSIWYG. No clever bullshit, no editing images, just videos of your average self answering question.

tevon 4y ago
Go build it then!
- tjoff 4y ago
  Building is the easy part. Getting traction is not.

grvdrm 4y ago

>I don't think this is dating app burnout, this is just dating burnout. Dating apps just make it easy to connect with potential matches (relative to not having dating app burnouts). And if you have dating burnout, take a break from dating! It's nice to just be ok with being single sometimes and enjoy other aspects of life. I was looking for a comment like this before I wrote one of my own! Completely agree! I'm a happily married guy, but used nearly every dating app that existed from 2004-2012. Everyone's talking about how dating apps suck. They were, for me, another way to meet folks during those years and probably how I met most women I dated. They had and still have their highs and lows. Apps don't magically solve dating. I think the real problem is the tunnel vision. You get sucked down the rabbit hole. Instead, spending time out with friends, exploring hobbies, and joining common-interest clubs are some of the ways that I was able to meet women when I least cared to meet them. And that's the real magic - I've always had the best relationships grow from the most chance encounters, in-person. Something that blossoms organically somehow. The apps can't really recreate that moment and subsequent sequence of good events.