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As a father of two, I would like to add that even with kids, your 30s can be a golden-age. They were for me at least. The stress and FOMO of my twenties was go

As a father of two, I would like to add that even with kids, your 30s can be a golden-age. They were for me at least. The stress and FOMO of my twenties was gone. A certain Danny Glover quote regularly comes to mind. Things and thoughts in my head are for the most part sorted out and now it’s time to play. Sure, it’s different with certain responsibilities, but in the end you are yourself either way. The main point of your post, as I understood and agree with is true with it without kids. Because, as you said, success is measured in effort, not in lines of code or numbers on your watch. We should be competing WITH each other, not AGAINST. Now, I’m done with my thirties and the platinum age of my forties is dawning. Can’t wait.

pknomad 4y ago
The family/marriage FOMO bug is definitely a thing for sure. I think that's one venue I'll try to explore a bit more. How do you keep such positive outlook at the next decade?
- personalidea 4y ago
  It really is a question of preference. Kids are awesome, but that is not to say that one can’t be happy without them. I firmly believe that no one should have kids if they don’t really want to. There are enough of us. We will need to reproduce, but not everyone has to. Contraceptives are a blessing and they should be freely available to anyone that wants them. I find it difficult to put this in a precise statement. At the same time, for me, kids and a partner who wouldn’t take my BS, where the push for me to get my stuff together. Otherwise I might have been one of those cardiacs arrest cases due to drug overuse. That’s why I’m happily living with a family. So, after getting sober at the end of my twenties, cleaning up things in my thirties (getting stable employment as a self taught, career changing web dev) and stopping to be a product of circumstances (thanks therapy) and my kids being old enough to have deeper conversations with (they are in the middle of their school age) I am now looking forward to actively design and realize the life I am living.
  - solardev 4y ago
    This is such a great story. Thanks for sharing!

pknomad 4y ago

The family/marriage FOMO bug is definitely a thing for sure. I think that's one venue I'll try to explore a bit more. How do you keep such positive outlook at the next decade?

personalidea 4y ago
It really is a question of preference. Kids are awesome, but that is not to say that one can’t be happy without them. I firmly believe that no one should have kids if they don’t really want to. There are enough of us. We will need to reproduce, but not everyone has to. Contraceptives are a blessing and they should be freely available to anyone that wants them. I find it difficult to put this in a precise statement. At the same time, for me, kids and a partner who wouldn’t take my BS, where the push for me to get my stuff together. Otherwise I might have been one of those cardiacs arrest cases due to drug overuse. That’s why I’m happily living with a family. So, after getting sober at the end of my twenties, cleaning up things in my thirties (getting stable employment as a self taught, career changing web dev) and stopping to be a product of circumstances (thanks therapy) and my kids being old enough to have deeper conversations with (they are in the middle of their school age) I am now looking forward to actively design and realize the life I am living.
- solardev 4y ago
  This is such a great story. Thanks for sharing!