4 ms·

Is there even a single mother's view in this thread? I bet no. Mothers don't have time and power for the first few years. So my advice is this: Don't be unfair

by pvorb 4y ago

Is there even a single mother's view in this thread? I bet no. Mothers don't have time and power for the first few years. So my advice is this: Don't be unfair to your wife and think about her career sooner than later. Having kids is the number one reason why women earn less and there's often no way to catch up until retirement. So the sooner she gets back into a full-time job the better. It's not about the things this thread suggests. Having a good time with the kids is important, yes. But this is quality time, anyway. The mother will also enjoy it. It's about all the rest. Doing the laundry, going grocery shopping with the little ones, cooking, doing the dishes, etc. Also give her time for herself. If you're in a job, you have a large part of your day talking to adults. Mothers of young kids don't have this opportunity, so give her some time without the kids where she can do whatever she wants.

QuarterReptile 4y ago
>So the sooner she gets back into a full-time job the better. OTOH, careful with this. Your wife has already endured her entire upbringing of people telling her that her worth is tied to her job, and you may be the only chance to encourage her to stay home with the kids, should she want this. If you fail to signal your assent to this arrangement, she is plenty likely to feel trapped needing to go back to work when she wants to be home with babies and young children.
- pvorb 4y ago
  That's also true. It's very easy to build traps, so make sure to know what she wants. But I'd say dependence on the father is the bigger trap. If you haven't worked for a few years, you are fully dependent on your partner. At least the other options aren't nice.