4 ms·

Came here to say something similar and I was actually in a similar situation to OP. Was a 23 year old who felt I had wasted too much of my life already - had wa

by taxyz 4y ago

Came here to say something similar and I was actually in a similar situation to OP. Was a 23 year old who felt I had wasted too much of my life already - had watched some sitcoms twice through already and while others had been programming for the last 10 years, I had been playing guitar. So what did I do? I swore off everything that wasn’t going to be “productive,” sold my guitars, and tried to spend every minute of every day coding or reading. My girlfriend at the time would get mad at my book light cause it bothered her while she was trying to sleep but I had to keep reading “Computer Systems: A Programmer’s Perspective.” Years later we would be breaking up and on the day she was moving out she wanted to talk but I had to go to work cause I was lead on a big feature that I thought would lead to a promotion that never happened. Flash forward years later, I decide to pick up the guitar again during the pandemic. The only thing I regret now is having ever put it down. I’m frustrated at everything I have to relearn because I knew I could play something before, I’m frustrated at the time I lost not playing. Most importantly though, I’m still frustrated at myself for not letting myself enjoy playing guitar; sometimes I still feel guilty that I’m wasting time similar to how I felt at 23. Wasting time can be a bad feeling, but teaching yourself to abhor wasting time is equally bad and it robs you of the joy from anything that isn’t “productive” or productivity adjacent. Try not to focus on regret and don’t over analyze things too much trying to identify how you could have made things play out differently. The past is gone - which is a good thing. I had spent some time thinking how my job at the time affected that relationship but the truth of the matter is it probably would have ended anyway. I learned a lot about myself through it, and have a much better grasp on my current relationship and a healthier/more stable work life balance because of it. The other thing about Carmack or any other famous programmer is it doesn’t matter when they started programming. We all kind of plateau somewhere in terms of skill. Had Carmack been born 15 years earlier and started programming 15 years later he’d probably still be equally successful in some area of software development. He didn’t create Doom solely because he started programming in the womb with the first spill proof keyboard. There’s tons of other people who started programming that early and didn’t get anywhere with it. Don’t compare your journey and success with anyone else’s because there’s likely a lot of other factors in there that would be impossible to account for. Focus on enjoying your time on earth, work hard when you need to and make time for relaxation and joy as much as you can as well.

TedDoesntTalk 4y ago
Amazing story. Thanks for sharing. The bit about the girlfriend moving out and wanting to talk to you, but you had to work instead… is something out of a song or novel. Since you’re a musician, I encourage you to write lyrics about that and build a song around it. It’s gut-wrenching.
aintmeit 4y ago
Like the other user said, sounds like fiction although you would need to work extensively with an editor if you plan on collaborating with a publisher. While, there are self-publishing platforms yours would be one of thousands of submissions, many of which will wither in obscurity while hoping to be the next 50 Shades of Grey. And you're right, the past is gone; however, it's interesting where you stand upon reflection. The loss of the girlfriend is not something you regret, yet the loss of your ability to play guitar is something you do regret. That is something to consider.
- taxyz 4y ago
  Not sure if you’re accusing me of making my story up, I wish I were. In regards to my writing needing editing, it’s a comment on a post on HN - you kinda get what you pay for. As for your comment about where I stand after reflection, it seems like you might have had unhealthy relationships or little experience. I regret the pain I caused her; you’d have to be pretty calloused not to. But she’s met someone else and is happier and I’ve met someone else and am happier. I don’t think either of us would change the present just to have a different past. You shouldn’t really regret losing someone over a relationship not working out especially if there isn’t a singular moment you can point to (like infidelity or abuse). It’s hard to tell what exacerbated things or what was the straw that broke the camels back hence why I said it probably would have ended anyway. I regret not playing guitar more in the sense that I wasn’t allocating any of my time to simply enjoying life. Perhaps had I played guitar more, or video games, or had taken up painting I would have been happier and that would have been healthier for both myself and the people around me. It’s an easy thing to regret because the time I spent learning JavaScript frameworks I never ended up using or languages that fell out of vogue (looking at you scala) was largely fruitless in terms of my career anyway.
4y ago

by taxyz 4y ago

TedDoesntTalk 4y ago

Amazing story. Thanks for sharing. The bit about the girlfriend moving out and wanting to talk to you, but you had to work instead… is something out of a song or novel. Since you’re a musician, I encourage you to write lyrics about that and build a song around it. It’s gut-wrenching.

aintmeit 4y ago

Like the other user said, sounds like fiction although you would need to work extensively with an editor if you plan on collaborating with a publisher. While, there are self-publishing platforms yours would be one of thousands of submissions, many of which will wither in obscurity while hoping to be the next 50 Shades of Grey. And you're right, the past is gone; however, it's interesting where you stand upon reflection. The loss of the girlfriend is not something you regret, yet the loss of your ability to play guitar is something you do regret. That is something to consider.

taxyz 4y ago
Not sure if you’re accusing me of making my story up, I wish I were. In regards to my writing needing editing, it’s a comment on a post on HN - you kinda get what you pay for. As for your comment about where I stand after reflection, it seems like you might have had unhealthy relationships or little experience. I regret the pain I caused her; you’d have to be pretty calloused not to. But she’s met someone else and is happier and I’ve met someone else and am happier. I don’t think either of us would change the present just to have a different past. You shouldn’t really regret losing someone over a relationship not working out especially if there isn’t a singular moment you can point to (like infidelity or abuse). It’s hard to tell what exacerbated things or what was the straw that broke the camels back hence why I said it probably would have ended anyway. I regret not playing guitar more in the sense that I wasn’t allocating any of my time to simply enjoying life. Perhaps had I played guitar more, or video games, or had taken up painting I would have been happier and that would have been healthier for both myself and the people around me. It’s an easy thing to regret because the time I spent learning JavaScript frameworks I never ended up using or languages that fell out of vogue (looking at you scala) was largely fruitless in terms of my career anyway.

4y ago