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It sounds like your problem isn't having a kid, it's not having a separate, quiet space to work. You can't do work that requires concentration with a small chil

by ccleve 4y ago

It sounds like your problem isn't having a kid, it's not having a separate, quiet space to work. You can't do work that requires concentration with a small child in the house, you just can't. If you have a spouse or a relative or a baby sitter who can do child care for a few hours a day, then please go elsewhere. It will make you feel so much better when you can actually get something done. It will do wonders for your mental health.

igetspam 4y ago
That does sound like a good assumption but unfortunately it's inaccurate. I genuinely don't like parenthood. I don't like negotiating with a child. I don't the mess. I don't like noise. I don't like cutting my day short because it's dinner time. I generally don't like being a dependency and not having freedom of mobility. Parenthood didn't solve anything for me except that I got the partner I wanted. FWIW, my office is and always has been isolated from the main part of the house, if not entirely detached.
- jcpst 4y ago
  Right, it’s a perspective thing. I think your perspective is not wrong, but wanted to provide another for those reading: It’s good to remember kids aren’t just short adults. They are irrational, creative, come up with strange assumptions… Also good to remember that kids don’t choose to be born, or who their parents are, or where they live. It’s also good to learn a bit of child psychology along the way. And to truly listen. All that stuff you mentioned- the negotiating, the crazy constant messes, getting dinner on the table… It sucks. But it only sucks when I’m living in the imaginary world in my head, which is not reality. I can think of all sorts of things I would do if I wasn’t a parent. In the real world, I have kids, and I make the choice to be here for them. I don’t know about anyone else here, but my Dad really sucked at being a father.

by ccleve 4y ago

igetspam 4y ago

That does sound like a good assumption but unfortunately it's inaccurate. I genuinely don't like parenthood. I don't like negotiating with a child. I don't the mess. I don't like noise. I don't like cutting my day short because it's dinner time. I generally don't like being a dependency and not having freedom of mobility. Parenthood didn't solve anything for me except that I got the partner I wanted. FWIW, my office is and always has been isolated from the main part of the house, if not entirely detached.

jcpst 4y ago
Right, it’s a perspective thing. I think your perspective is not wrong, but wanted to provide another for those reading: It’s good to remember kids aren’t just short adults. They are irrational, creative, come up with strange assumptions… Also good to remember that kids don’t choose to be born, or who their parents are, or where they live. It’s also good to learn a bit of child psychology along the way. And to truly listen. All that stuff you mentioned- the negotiating, the crazy constant messes, getting dinner on the table… It sucks. But it only sucks when I’m living in the imaginary world in my head, which is not reality. I can think of all sorts of things I would do if I wasn’t a parent. In the real world, I have kids, and I make the choice to be here for them. I don’t know about anyone else here, but my Dad really sucked at being a father.