3 ms·

I'm honestly dumbfounded. My grandma and grandpa, whom I was close with and enjoyed spending significant time with, were in a few assisted living type facilitie

I'm honestly dumbfounded. My grandma and grandpa, whom I was close with and enjoyed spending significant time with, were in a few assisted living type facilities for the last 10 years or so. I felt bad for them (they never liked the food, and loneliness is always a problem) but I felt equally bad for the staff (RNs, CNA, 'med-aides'). My grandparents just simply grew up in a different time and had different expectations so they would always be complaining about something or wanting this or wanting that. I felt terrible for the staff to have to deal with them. The experience has solidified my mindset. I _will not_ live in a 'home' when I'm old, and will not let my mom enter on of those facilities.

mindslight 4y ago
I was going to write a comment laying out an admonishment to keep loved ones in their own homes, and hiring in-home help. But really, it's the luck of the draw depending on their specific medical condition. Like for example if someone has Alzheimer's I don't see how that could ever work DIY unless you spent some extreme amount of money. So really, it's a very strong suggestion - don't let your family members go to a nursing home lightly. Hospitals will often push for it as the only option, and sometimes it may be necessary for a time, but really think about the situation for yourself. Think of nursing homes as existing mainly because euthanasia is illegal and repugnant to many people. I've now had close experience with two family members who have ended up at one for inpatient rehab (one during covid, one afterwards), and they're fucking death traps. And this was a facility that another family member had worked at for some time as the head physical therapist, and they recognized the last name! I don't know if private equity was involved, but as the top-level comment points out the continual screw tightening overwork incentive is there regardless.

mindslight 4y ago

I was going to write a comment laying out an admonishment to keep loved ones in their own homes, and hiring in-home help. But really, it's the luck of the draw depending on their specific medical condition. Like for example if someone has Alzheimer's I don't see how that could ever work DIY unless you spent some extreme amount of money. So really, it's a very strong suggestion - don't let your family members go to a nursing home lightly. Hospitals will often push for it as the only option, and sometimes it may be necessary for a time, but really think about the situation for yourself. Think of nursing homes as existing mainly because euthanasia is illegal and repugnant to many people. I've now had close experience with two family members who have ended up at one for inpatient rehab (one during covid, one afterwards), and they're fucking death traps. And this was a facility that another family member had worked at for some time as the head physical therapist, and they recognized the last name! I don't know if private equity was involved, but as the top-level comment points out the continual screw tightening overwork incentive is there regardless.