6 ms·

I have 3 kids with one due at the end of the year. All are from the same woman and we’ve known each other since being teenagers. We are planning to have 5-7 tot

I have 3 kids with one due at the end of the year. All are from the same woman and we’ve known each other since being teenagers. We are planning to have 5-7 total. They really add a richness to life. It’s fun to see people stare when we go out.

pram 4y ago
I have 2 kids and I wouldn't mind more, but where do you put them? Our house has 3 rooms. If we have bunk beds they're probably going to be annoyed as teenagers. Maybe I'm thinking about this too hard lol
anon291 4y ago
Yeah at our church the average is probably 4-5. There are dozens of families like this. Were planning 5-6 like you. Events with all the kids are lovely and many of the adults who grew up in this church know the other adults because they all used to be kids here once. Great community and a lovely life.
- TbobbyZ 4y ago
  What church?
  - anon291 4y ago
    This is a Catholic parish that leans traditional, but not sedevacantist or anything like that.
- Danieru 4y ago
  We're at 3 kids, planning for 4. I agree on the important of fellow kids at church. The older kids have an incredible time playing with our younger kids. Its such a joy to watch. Bonus is we live in Japan and get to enjoy the surplus of an aging/retiring society. Cars are cheap, houses are cheap. We got a mortgage for a new build house as two newly weds at 25 years old, no down payment as is common in this bank-deposit-surplus country. Society is pretty broken in lots of ways, but with family you can side step the foolishness. The important skill is to say no when society suggests a silly idea.
  - jxramos 4y ago
    What a great slogan. Say no when society suggests a silly idea. I love it. Fruitless endeavor, no thank you. Sometimes I day dream about our kids perceptions of things in the future never having been exposed to the constant barrage of advertising conditioning them to buy buy buy and find satisfaction in material crap. I’m excited to see the sort of people they will become, there’s already great excitement at their growing virtues and strengths. Amazing stuff.
    - anon291 4y ago
      People are always surprised that we have no television in our household, and our consumption of media is limited to pre-purchased movies on particular occasions (sickness, holidays, etc) You don't have to engage with everything society tells you you need. You can just... ignore it. In my experience, many people speak highly of freedom, yet don't behave freely themselves.
mjh2539 4y ago
Same here. At our parish there are tons of families with 5+ kids. It's like an oasis.
mschuster91 4y ago
Serious question: How on earth can you afford this?
- mjh2539 4y ago
  "Afford" is said in many ways. I know my kids will probably have to take out student loans to go to school. Other than that, you live frugally. Health insurance costs usually cap out at 3 kids.
  - BeFlatXIII 4y ago
    My ex and I split over this issue. She wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and "the kids can take out loans like me if they choose to go to college." I wasn't going to bother with children unless I could reasonably guarantee all the benefits to my children that my parents provided me (a.k.a. covering a significant portion of my college expenses).
    - mjh2539 4y ago
      I mean, if things are anything like they are now, they'll end up paying $100/mo on a salary of ~$130,000 to cover the cost of $70,000 in loans that are going to get written off by the federal government in ten more years. (The fact that my wife does not work and we have two children obviously brings down the monthly rate to a significant degree). It's not exactly the incredible expense some folks imagine it to be; it's certainly not worth not having children over. Unless of course you're dead-set on sending your children to Oberlin or Harvard or something and coming out of it with no debt, I don't think it's a reasonable objection. And even if you were dead-set on it, shouldn't you be making enough to be able to afford to let your wife stay at home if she wanted to anyway?
      - BeFlatXIII 4y ago
        These were also decisions made about 6 or 7 years ago when forgiveness after a decade of $100/mo payments was a reasonable expectation.
swat535 4y ago
My fiance (soon to be wife) and I are both devout Catholics, having children is a gift for us. We won't be using contraception after we are married, only NFP (or abstain) and if she gets pregnant, then it's a cause for celebration by both the community and our families. We have average jobs and no one in our extended family is rich either, yet they all had many kids. The truth is that having children requires a lot of sacrifice and not many people are up for it. Who could blame them? outside of strong cultural / religious boundaries, you will spend the majority of your time climbing a corporate ladder, going for a bigger degree, constantly thinking about retirement and finances,.. etc. However, I personally think that no matter which one of those summits you climb, it will fade away. So for us, unless we will literally be out on the street due to financial stress, we are looking forward to having kids, who could deny such grace? Anyway, just wanted to throw out a different point of view into the mix here.
- mensetmanusman 4y ago
  Surprised to see NFP mentioned on HN, good for you! We have 6 and practice as well:)

pram 4y ago

I have 2 kids and I wouldn't mind more, but where do you put them? Our house has 3 rooms. If we have bunk beds they're probably going to be annoyed as teenagers. Maybe I'm thinking about this too hard lol

anon291 4y ago

Yeah at our church the average is probably 4-5. There are dozens of families like this. Were planning 5-6 like you. Events with all the kids are lovely and many of the adults who grew up in this church know the other adults because they all used to be kids here once. Great community and a lovely life.

TbobbyZ 4y ago
What church?
- anon291 4y ago
  This is a Catholic parish that leans traditional, but not sedevacantist or anything like that.
Danieru 4y ago
We're at 3 kids, planning for 4. I agree on the important of fellow kids at church. The older kids have an incredible time playing with our younger kids. Its such a joy to watch. Bonus is we live in Japan and get to enjoy the surplus of an aging/retiring society. Cars are cheap, houses are cheap. We got a mortgage for a new build house as two newly weds at 25 years old, no down payment as is common in this bank-deposit-surplus country. Society is pretty broken in lots of ways, but with family you can side step the foolishness. The important skill is to say no when society suggests a silly idea.
- jxramos 4y ago
  What a great slogan. Say no when society suggests a silly idea. I love it. Fruitless endeavor, no thank you. Sometimes I day dream about our kids perceptions of things in the future never having been exposed to the constant barrage of advertising conditioning them to buy buy buy and find satisfaction in material crap. I’m excited to see the sort of people they will become, there’s already great excitement at their growing virtues and strengths. Amazing stuff.
  - anon291 4y ago
    People are always surprised that we have no television in our household, and our consumption of media is limited to pre-purchased movies on particular occasions (sickness, holidays, etc) You don't have to engage with everything society tells you you need. You can just... ignore it. In my experience, many people speak highly of freedom, yet don't behave freely themselves.

mjh2539 4y ago

Same here. At our parish there are tons of families with 5+ kids. It's like an oasis.

mschuster91 4y ago

Serious question: How on earth can you afford this?

mjh2539 4y ago
"Afford" is said in many ways. I know my kids will probably have to take out student loans to go to school. Other than that, you live frugally. Health insurance costs usually cap out at 3 kids.
- BeFlatXIII 4y ago
  My ex and I split over this issue. She wanted to be a stay-at-home mom and "the kids can take out loans like me if they choose to go to college." I wasn't going to bother with children unless I could reasonably guarantee all the benefits to my children that my parents provided me (a.k.a. covering a significant portion of my college expenses).
  - mjh2539 4y ago
    I mean, if things are anything like they are now, they'll end up paying $100/mo on a salary of ~$130,000 to cover the cost of $70,000 in loans that are going to get written off by the federal government in ten more years. (The fact that my wife does not work and we have two children obviously brings down the monthly rate to a significant degree). It's not exactly the incredible expense some folks imagine it to be; it's certainly not worth not having children over. Unless of course you're dead-set on sending your children to Oberlin or Harvard or something and coming out of it with no debt, I don't think it's a reasonable objection. And even if you were dead-set on it, shouldn't you be making enough to be able to afford to let your wife stay at home if she wanted to anyway?
    - BeFlatXIII 4y ago
      These were also decisions made about 6 or 7 years ago when forgiveness after a decade of $100/mo payments was a reasonable expectation.

swat535 4y ago

My fiance (soon to be wife) and I are both devout Catholics, having children is a gift for us. We won't be using contraception after we are married, only NFP (or abstain) and if she gets pregnant, then it's a cause for celebration by both the community and our families. We have average jobs and no one in our extended family is rich either, yet they all had many kids. The truth is that having children requires a lot of sacrifice and not many people are up for it. Who could blame them? outside of strong cultural / religious boundaries, you will spend the majority of your time climbing a corporate ladder, going for a bigger degree, constantly thinking about retirement and finances,.. etc. However, I personally think that no matter which one of those summits you climb, it will fade away. So for us, unless we will literally be out on the street due to financial stress, we are looking forward to having kids, who could deny such grace? Anyway, just wanted to throw out a different point of view into the mix here.

mensetmanusman 4y ago
Surprised to see NFP mentioned on HN, good for you! We have 6 and practice as well:)