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At first I thought this was kind of "meh" but then I clicked over on the "components" list at the bottom. Dear god, I just spent the last 5 minutes giggling and
by joshstrange 4y ago
At first I thought this was kind of "meh" but then I clicked over on the "components" list at the bottom. Dear god, I just spent the last 5 minutes giggling and adding absurd things to the phone. I absolutely love this.
- A4ET8a8uTh0 4y agoThe 'pro handle' moment. I genuinely needed this pick up today.
- pathartl 4y agoI would love to see price tags added to them as well. Wheels? $100. Handle? $50. Pro handle? $1000. Edit: It does update price, but I'd like an itemized list
- sdflhasjd 4y agoSlap the lighting port in the middle of the screen, so you can't use it while charging.
- bongobingo1 4y agoWe've been thinking hard about how we all navigate our expanding digital lives, and we at Apple think the greatest breakthroughs can only occur when we really take time to sit, consider and recharge. In 2017 we introduced Screen Time, a revolutionary way to track your digital usage, putting you in control. This year, we're going one step further and we're excited to announce Recharge Time, only for iPhone 15.
- samstave 4y agoHey Tim Apple, You still owe me a fn Macbook Pro because my "recharge time" included my machine bursting into flames on my bed, and the machine was under recall for bursting into flames, and you refused to replace the machine that burst into flames as stated by the recall, and nearly killed me, could have burned down a house, because of the "moisture sensor" What say you, Tim Apple?
- dkonofalski 4y agoHe says nothing. He's not reading this.
- samstave 4y agoI did not say this. I am not here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYnF17oKutQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYnF17oKutQ Tim Apple in the Eye Phone 9000
- dkonofalski 4y agoYou are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity...
- samstave 4y agoI appropriate the complimentary commentary.
- iso1631 4y agoSurely if the moisture sensor was on that would have put out the fire?
- samstave 4y agoIll just put this next to the rest of the fire. https://i.imgur.com/CbCYs0d.jpg https://i.imgur.com/CbCYs0d.jpg
- simonh 4y agoYou were holding it wrong.
- hk__2 4y agoObligatory xkcd: https://xkcd.com/1172/ https://xkcd.com/1172/
- IncRnd 4y agoTim, would you please make sure the right people approve my app? I just sent for approval a wicked cool app that makes old phones new. And, as we know every old phone is a new phone about to be purchased - wink, wink! So, here is the app I am introducing for August 2022 - Down Time, only for new iPhones. Down Time monitors all phone inputs, sensors, and the like - all when the phone is "down". This allows the Powerful Apple Silicon inside the iPhone on your desk to generate ML heuristics that map how the phone is used when it is not being used - when it is turned off, charging, left in the car, etc. Of course, the next step is to create local SMS messages and notifications that illustrate which of my other apps in the store will make the phone function better. If none of my apps will run on a phone, I create a red, warning hazard of a notification that says a NEW iPhone must be purchased to continue using this family of apps. It's a WIN-WIN, Tim. Please get this approved right quick!
- kbenson 4y agoSorry IncRnd, your app has been rejected on the grounds that it duplicates functionality of a core (about to be) included app. Apple's Relax Time does this, and will be out on the next release. P.S. We cross-our-hearts-promise we didn't just start this after we read your submission, and have been working on this for months, if not years. Hell, I'm sure we can find some email or memo from the prior decade that seems relevant if you press us.
- bongobingo1 4y ago> I'm sure we can find some email or memo from the prior decade that seems relevant if you press us. Just a quick Watson search away.
- nazka 4y agoI need a PDF with all the templates of the ways of Apple of saying things.
- YourOrdinaryJoe 4y agoSend that to me if you ever get it
- Wistar 4y agoI put the front camera in the middle of the screen for the whole eye contact thing.
- geoffeg 4y agoApple Magic Mouse style!
- messe 4y ago*right in the middle of the click wheel.
- roozbeh18 4y agodont let me stop you https://imgur.com/a/1v1emWj https://imgur.com/a/1v1emWj
- zimpenfish 4y agolaughs hysterically in Garmin Fenix
- Shebanator 4y agoThe thing I thought was hilarious is that they put in a zillion funny gadgets, but you can't get a USB-C port instead of that godawful Lightning port.
- bombcar 4y agoCharging over hdmi is better anyway.
- Daneel_ 4y agoJust put the headphone jack back on it, then charge via headphone jack like the old ipod shuffles used to! Seriously though, I still miss the headphone jack :(
- sssilver 4y agoAs someone who owns dozens of devices with both USB-C and Lightning ports, I find the Lightning port to be significantly superior to USB-C. It is much easier to plug in due to the curves on the sides, easier to plug out, holds in place more strongly, and the port lasts much longer. Why do you call it “godawful”?
- beeboop 4y agoi have to own and keep one around literally only for charging my keyboard and mouse, that alone makes it awful
- girvo 4y agoThe single factor that makes it awful is that no one else uses it aside from Apple, so I have to have multiple cords of two different types around the house. Annoying!
- bjoli 4y agoUSB2 Speeds. Why have 4k60 video on a device with no good way of getting video off it? 480mbps half duplex doesn't cut it.
- noSyncCloud 4y agoTwo lightning ports on the screen, so you can charge and listen to music with your audiophile IEMs at the same time
- arcticbull 4y agoI turned mine into a skateboard for hamsters with 4 pro wheels valued at $600.
- nomel 4y agoProviding unprecedented performance and mobility.
- simonh 4y agoSince every human on Earth will soon own an iPhone, it makes sense to go for the pet market. In hindsight constantly improving the water proofing makes sense. How else will you be able to immerse your goldfish’s iPhone in the tank?
- meerita 4y agoI did the same :D
- Teknoman117 4y agoNow presenting the iPhone "oops all cameras"
- SllX 4y agoOh. So. Oops.
- layer8 4y agoI mustered the courage to add two headphone jacks ($200 a pop).
- tomxor 4y ago> $200 a pop To make up for the losses in revenue from bluetooth earphones I assume ;)
- grishka 4y agoHow much the first iMac was? It must've been $600 for just the headphone jacks.
- pjerem 4y agoO boy, so, no space left for a battery with all those jacks. That must be the brand new iPhone(TETHERED)
- newshorts 4y agoI’m glad someone had the guts to do it.
- russellbeattie 4y agoGoogly eyes!! I never realized how important googly eyes are. They make everything more user friendly. They should definitely be an FCC requirement.
- spillguard 4y agoAgreed! My only complaint with this webapp is that the Googly eyes don't jiggle when you rotate the phone.
- spaceman_2020 4y agoMy new iPhone 14 has an antenna AND a steering wheel.
- squeaky-clean 4y agoI only wish you could attach things to other attachments. My Pro Handle needs a cupholder attached to it.
- cosmojg 4y agoThey even allow you to add something called a "headphone jack"! Isn't that hilarious? What an antiquated absurdity! A rotary dial makes more sense on a phone these days.
- rconti 4y agoOnce I figured out I could drag and rotate, it started making more sense!
- mihaaly 4y ago"adding absurd things to the phone" That's how Apple does it, good job!
- ant6n 4y agoYeah, I love how this silently escalates more and more.
- AA-BA-94-2A-56 4y agoThe all new Satellite Television Phone from Apple, with power-through-HDMI and long physical antenna for added reception.