8 ms·

Right. During my somewhat passive job search, I've only been considering companies that have an office local to me (i.e. Central London). I've been working rem

• SQueeeeeL 4y ago
  > yes, this is a me thing, but it's also always been a me thing I feel like picking jobs off of a desire to live a social life and feel like part of a community is extremely normal and valid. Remote work is essentially accepting that the primary way you'll engage with your colleagues and labor is through a screen, and that is an uncomfortable feeling (to some people at least)
  • tjr225 4y ago
    There will be a reckoning when we collectively realize that putting more and more, and eventually all, of our lives on the internet is not good for us.
    • BlargMcLarg 4y ago
      I mean, I'm expected to put in 8 hours a day, most of which staring at a screen, either way. Only difference being now I get to use the hours spent commuting to do other things. The argument would be a lot stronger if most office work wasn't perpetually online to begin with.
      • deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
    • bart_spoon 4y ago
      People spend 95% of the time in the office in front of a screen anyways. Perhaps there is a problem with too much of our lives being spent online, but switching from in office to remote work isn't even enough of a difference in that respect to register.
      • s1artibartfast 4y ago
        I think the problem is that there's a lot of people where that 5% non-screen time at work is the difference between a job they like and one that they don't
  • FpUser 4y ago
    >"I feel like picking jobs off of a desire to live a social life and feel like part of a community is extremely normal " Been on my own and remote since 2000. I am remote with my clients save for occasional face to face meeting when possible and I am remote with my subcontractors. It feels "extremely normal" to me and the last thing I've ever want is my friends and people I hang out with being supplied by my workplace. Does not mean that I've never made friends when I did "normal work" long time ago but it was just extra.
    • lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 4y ago
      Why can't they both be normal?
      • FpUser 4y ago
        I think it is normal to make friends / acquaintances anywhere as we are all different. I just expressed what I feel about it. Does not mean that "there has to be the only one".
        • lcnPylGDnU4H9OF 4y ago
          Fair enough. The way you quoted certain terms in the previous comment made it seem to me as a refutation rather than a separate point. Just a poor assumption on my part since I can read the other voice. I do think that this discussion is often people who disagree not bothering to disagree, which probably explains why I read your comment wrong.
  • bad416f1f5a2 4y ago
    Funny, I have always seen “work as community” to offer an illusory connection at best. At its worst it is exploited by employers. My coworkers are my colleagues. I don’t mind sharing a beer with them once in a while, but apart from “work” we have different interests, values, and experiences. That doesn’t lead to community, it leads to having acquaintances. And if you doubt that, ask yourself how many of your “work friends” from a job you’ve had more than a year ago do you still interact with? The pandemic has been a joy for me because it’s let me separate my parasocial interactions from my true friends.
    • kixiQu 4y ago
      > ask yourself how many of your “work friends” from a job you’ve had more than a year ago do you still interact with? I still interact a lot with people I was on a team with >1 yr ago – the ones I met before we went remote. Can't say the same about the ones I was never in the office with, even though they seem like equally good people. > but apart from “work” we have different interests, values, and experiences. That doesn’t lead to community, it leads to having acquaintances. It has not been my experience that "community" arises particularly from this kind of homogeneity. I'm also kind of curious what you mean by "parasocial" outside of the context of media.
      • bad416f1f5a2 4y ago
        > I'm also kind of curious what you mean by "parasocial" outside of the context of media. I actually went back and forth on using it - even considering a hedge with a "quasi-" prefix. But it felt apt: plenty of my past "work friends" exist as little beyond a persona that I interact with via LinkedIn. I give a thumbs-up for their job change, we exchange polite offers to get a coffee that we both know neither will accept, and we go on.
    • s1artibartfast 4y ago
      Different Strokes for different folks. I would say that the majority of my friends and close Social Circle are people who I met and worked with an office at one point. Sure it started with cooler chat and beers after work, but it evolve to going to weddings, backpacking trips, and our partners becoming close with friendships of their own. I do like workplace community, even if I'm only close with a subset of my colleagues. I find it vastly more fulfilling to work with friends that I enjoy. I don't like turning off my personality and become a faceless COG working with other cogs for 8 hours a day and find it depressing
  • danenania 4y ago
    The way most of us make friends and find community is school when we’re younger, then work when we’re adults. It makes sense—wherever you spend the most time around others is where you’re most likely to make friends and feel a sense of belonging. Remote work upends that. It’s great if you already have an established social circle, but bad for people who want to develop one. There’s no reason why work has to be the main thing that satisfies these needs, but it’s fulfilled that role for so long that it has sucked up most of the oxygen from alternatives. I hope that as remote work continues to take off, we’ll see a new wave of third places that can take over this function. There’s a huge opportunity here for anyone who can help socially struggling remote workers feel more connected.
• enlyth 4y ago
  But the fact that you don't go out is because you don't put any effort into it. I work remotely from Kent, we also have an office in Central London but I made the effort to make local friends with whom I go out all the time, even week nights. I prefer this to spending £40 for the train to then drink £8 pints in overfilled London pubs while standing outside and shouting over each other. I actually don't want to spend more time with my colleagues after spending all day with them, I prefer to have a second friend circle which is more diverse than <group of people who happen to work in the same company as me>.
  • mattgperry 4y ago
    "I" "I" "I" This works great for you but for many it doesn't. Both are valid perspectives.
    • dogman144 4y ago
      But one “I” is asking for others to center their life around work for the sake of socialization, the other “I” is happy for the extroverted employee to find that extroversion however suits them, just leave me out of it. Those don’t seem equal asks
      • mym1990 4y ago
        No where did I see OP ask for others to center their life around work for socialization. They admitted that many companies are cut off from their job search as a result, BUT ALSO THAT THEY ARE OKAY WITH THAT. You're twisting it completely.
        • dogman144 4y ago
          No, see what I mean in another thread. Return-to-office is in large part steered by public opinion and commercial real estate issues. For every bold company that leans into remote, the majority rest check the public temperature and do what seems in line pending open revolt form their employees or competitors offering remote. So much of the public temperature around remote work is oriented around heavy support from public figures for return to office. By some employees supporting it as well, everyone risks getting swept back into office whether they like it or not and don’t have a job with enough power (like a talented dev) to go against the grain and protest. If you’re not in those jobs with leverage and at a company considering RTO or not, Employees supporting remote work are espousing very safe career views, and the employees who disagree risk going against the grain with mgmt who want the office back so stay silent. So this is what I mean by OP’s opinions mean everyone else gets swept in it as well.
• dogman144 4y ago
  The thing is you’re asking everyone else in the office to come in and experience all the negative externalities (commute, health, family) just so you can have an easy way to get out and about after work. That doesn’t seem fair to me.
  • xxxxyxxyxxyxyx 4y ago
    I don't think OP is. They know how they feels and they're betting others feel the same. Employees wanting to work in an office isn't the same thing as employers forcing people to.
    • dogman144 4y ago
      Right, my base assumption is betting a lot of the other employees don’t feel the same. There are a core group of work friends that maybe stick around after leaving a job as friends, the rest are evenings you’re taking from me, my family, and my time at a pub b/c those pub nights are ultimately important for career management and matter little for meaningful socialization. I feel like people get this or not. The relationships at work are more for career advancement than friendship (or I’m a sociopath). This has been a thing forever, Office Space was a hit for a reason.
  • andrewingram 4y ago
    I'm struggling to find the bit where I demand all the remote-first or hybrid companies changes their ways and conform to my preferences. No, I'm looking for companies that fit my preferences. Which is making my job search much harder, but I know what I need.
    • dogman144 4y ago
      Right, but the louder opinions like yours are, and these are the ones that surface most in the public debate and wrapped in some good-for-productivity ideas, the more fuel it adds to the fire of moving everyone back in office.
      • 4y ago
• jkukul 4y ago
  1. Find an interesting remote job. 2. Sign-up to a local coworking space in Central London and make a habit to go there every day. Try to make friends with people there and go out with them every now and then. Many coworking spaces even try to facilitate community building by organising events, etc. 3. Profit. Socializing doesn't need to happen at work.
  • andrewingram 4y ago
    This is an avenue i've been considering. In my case it does require enough budget to allow for a somewhat permanent co-working space setup (big monitor, mouse, keyboard etc), but it's an option.
    • jkukul 4y ago
      good luck! treat this budget as an investment into your well-being and social life. Also, keep in mind not all coworkings are made equal. It might take trying a few before you find one that suits you well. In my experience small, local coworkings are best for building relationships. Big, chain coworkings like WeWork are the worst. Everyone just minds their own business there.
• mym1990 4y ago
  This feels like me to a tee! I see so many people crapping on 'work social' life as if its some despicable activity that only those with no standards could partake in. The truth is that some of the nicest and best people I have met have been at work, and I thoroughly enjoyed going out and decompressing with them! Good times.
  • tomduncalf 4y ago
    Amen, same here. Each to their own, I guess it depends based on personality type, the company you're at, maybe the country you're in... but I've made a lot of good friends through work who are still good friends of mine despite not having worked together for many years. The polarisation of this debate is quite weird to watch. I get why people who prefer remote feel they have to fight for it now that it has become a common thing, but it's weird to deny that other people might have other preferences and there is room for both.
• dunefox 4y ago
  Then drive into town after work and go out? Not doing that is entirely your decision and has nothing to do with home office.