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Seeking advice from HN members: My spouse is under depression and has such symptoms. Yet, I do not think I'll be able to convince her of undergoing such traini

by alok-g 15y ago

Seeking advice from HN members: My spouse is under depression and has such symptoms. Yet, I do not think I'll be able to convince her of undergoing such training. She refuses to believe she is under depression, which is due to an ego issue from being a meditation practitioner / counselor herself. Yet she has exactly the symptoms described -- over-generalization of any small negative thing to ultimately falling into an infinite loop about all the problems she has and shouting at me or my kid for several hours straight. This happens about twice a week. Could I be doing something that can help? Thanks for any advice. Apologies if this does not belong to the HN forum.

Yxven 15y ago
Depression is caused by many things, but exercise helps most people suffering from mild to moderate depression. I would try asking her if she'd help you keep up your new jogging/workout regimen by doing it with you. If she's already fairly active, I would try improving her nutrition. This explains it better: http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/depression_disorder.html http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/depression_disorder....
Mz 15y ago
During a very difficult time in my life, a friend of mine would interrupt my pity parties by listing some of the good things in my life (or insisting that I do so) and then telling me "now smile" and telling me what a lovely smile I had. It did me a lot of good in terms of both helping me get through a very difficult time in my life and also breaking a bad habit/preventing me from getting mired in something bad. My oldest son used to do stuff like this as a child -- get wrapped around the axle about what a bad child he was because I crabbed at him for not doing his chores or something. He was maybe 14 when we were in the car one day and heard a news blurb about a teenager (14 to 16 years old) being tried as an adult for murder in a bank robbery case. I turned to him and said "Killed anyone here lately? Robbed any banks? How bad are you really?" And then talked about, yeah, I really need you to do your chores and I will crab at you when they don't get done because it's actually important to our quality of life, but if your mom bitching at you about not taking out the trash is your biggest problem, then life is really not that bad. This incident was a watershed moment and he never went back to being so very prone to wallowing in self pity and giving himself such a hard time. So it is possible to do this for someone else even if they don't want to do it for themselves. You have to be gentle and have good timing and not wear out your welcome (ie don't simply sound like a nag, which is not a positive experience). But judicious use of such interventions can make a permanent positive difference. Best of luck, whatever the answer turns out to be.

by alok-g 15y ago

Yxven 15y ago

Depression is caused by many things, but exercise helps most people suffering from mild to moderate depression. I would try asking her if she'd help you keep up your new jogging/workout regimen by doing it with you. If she's already fairly active, I would try improving her nutrition. This explains it better: http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/depression_disorder.html http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/depression_disorder....

Mz 15y ago

During a very difficult time in my life, a friend of mine would interrupt my pity parties by listing some of the good things in my life (or insisting that I do so) and then telling me "now smile" and telling me what a lovely smile I had. It did me a lot of good in terms of both helping me get through a very difficult time in my life and also breaking a bad habit/preventing me from getting mired in something bad. My oldest son used to do stuff like this as a child -- get wrapped around the axle about what a bad child he was because I crabbed at him for not doing his chores or something. He was maybe 14 when we were in the car one day and heard a news blurb about a teenager (14 to 16 years old) being tried as an adult for murder in a bank robbery case. I turned to him and said "Killed anyone here lately? Robbed any banks? How bad are you really?" And then talked about, yeah, I really need you to do your chores and I will crab at you when they don't get done because it's actually important to our quality of life, but if your mom bitching at you about not taking out the trash is your biggest problem, then life is really not that bad. This incident was a watershed moment and he never went back to being so very prone to wallowing in self pity and giving himself such a hard time. So it is possible to do this for someone else even if they don't want to do it for themselves. You have to be gentle and have good timing and not wear out your welcome (ie don't simply sound like a nag, which is not a positive experience). But judicious use of such interventions can make a permanent positive difference. Best of luck, whatever the answer turns out to be.