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No, I love myself. I never get invested into a job, ever. This is a cataclysmic mistake of the first order. However, no matter what I do, I love doing what I'

No, I love myself. I never get invested into a job, ever. This is a cataclysmic mistake of the first order. However, no matter what I do, I love doing what I'm doing. Doesn't matter if it is working a retail gig, programming, sales, bookkeeping. I just like the process and compete against myself. If I ever work for a cunt of a person or company, this is no problem at all. I just leave and don't get tweaked out about it. I only do what I am required to do. I will never work more than 8 hours, unless that is part of the agreement. The agreement is the agreement. I never make friends at work, I only have business acquaintences. Making friends at work is always a monsterously huge mistake, which I think pretty much everyone can figure out why I say this. Being friendly, yes. Friends, no. Be diplomatic, polite, kind, quick with a compliment, yes. Friends, no. Just google all the reasons why you shouldn't be friends if you can't figure out the reasons. However, one thing that I can tell you is that I never make friends at work, but I am generally among the most liked. Because I don't get involved in all that backstabbing, gossiping crap. And so everyone unfortunately tell me everything because they deem me trustworthy. However, I also tell them not to gossip to me, I don't want to hear it and this is generally respected, and basically because of all this, I'm genarally like by all. However, those with "friends" get all up into the factional warfare and backstabbing and all that noise. So my point is that this is kinda why I always am good anywhere I go. I also manage up. If someone is being an asshole and is a boss, they are NOT going to get away with that shit from me. Again, I will be nice and stuff and polite, but they will know in no uncertain terms what is not acceptable. Or, if I see that they are such an ass that even managing up they will then get vengeful or vindictive, then I either transfer to somewhere else or just get another job. I never love jobs. I love myself and how I go about doing things. My little self-competitions, and gamifying tasks. No sense in loving any job.

dnissley 4y ago
This is definitely a way to go about things. What would you say are the trade offs involved compared to other ways?
- As_You_Wish 4y ago
  Yes, it is a way. The issue is which is the percentage better way. I mean, someone can be mean and spiteful and hate everything about work and make everyone around them miserable. Certianly we've all known people like that. And that means it certainly is a way to go about things. But percentage-wise of a way to go, I don't know, maybe it works better for the person who is mean and spiteful and makes everyone around them miserable. So I guess you're right. If someone wants to be miserable to themselves and others, if someone wants to make friends and then get involved in the factional warefare, if someone wants to make friends and then you are promoted over your friend who wants the promotion, or they are promoted and you are not, and then have to fire your friend, or get fired, and then hate them forever and feel like you were stabbed in the back....well, hey, it's your life. I don't know what other "ways" you are specifically talking about, though. But as I said, the trade-off is that with MY way, you don't get involved in petty office backstab bullshit, you don't have arguments with your friends after you know them for a while and find out that you hate them and now you have to work at a place and avoid the other person all the time. But I, since I only work on the pure professional level, ALL of this never happens to me. Never. I go to work, do my job, friendly and polite to all, diplomatic, tactful, never engage in office backstabbings, no factionalisms, everyone likes me because of it, everyone respects me. I don't get sidelined by petty bullshit, I don't have people coming up to me and talking to me for 45 minutes about how much they hate such-and-such person and why they are horrible person. I don't know....call me crazy, but I like being liked, and not drawn into work bullshit, because everyone knows better and doesn't even try to involve me. So how can anyone ever be mad at me, unless I fuck up on my job? Then that's on me and is ok. But I rarely screw up on my job because I don't waste my time on bullshit like factional office warfare and gossiping, and instead, do this think called work - doing what I was hired to do.
  - badpun 4y ago
    Interestingly, I'm very friendly at work, and yet rarely if ever someone comes to my desk to bitch about someone else for 45 minutes. You might be exagerating the cons of estabilishing connections with people. I, for one, prefer to make friends, because this just makes passing the days so much easier and more fun. Without people to talk to, the job (esp. being stuck in an office) would feel a lot like doing a prison sentence. I can't find joy in gamifying the tasks like you do.
elhudy 4y ago
Hmm. Everything about this approach to work seems so stoic (?) except the reluctance to make friends at work. There are clearly reasons not to make friends at work. But those reasons are driven by the underlying goal of putting your career above your personal well-being and maintenance of close relationships - which seems contrary to your overall message. I have made some of my best lifelong friends from old jobs, and wouldn't give up those relationships for anything. Really good people are worth keeping close in your life, and I don't buy the "million fish in the sea" argument.
- solumunus 4y ago
  > I have made some of my best lifelong friends from old jobs, and wouldn't give up those relationships for anything. Really good people are worth keeping close in your life, and I don't buy the "million fish in the sea" argument. If you've made multiple high value, life long friends at work then how can you not buy that argument? From a relatively small pond you've landed multiple great catches.
  - aaaaaaaaata 4y ago
    Yep. Million fish in the sea — just, not yours, if you swim around the same old beach.
  - elhudy 4y ago
    What makes you think my pond is relatively small?
    - solumunus 4y ago
      Because we're comparing it to "the sea"?
      - elhudy 4y ago
        I guess part of my rejection of the “the million fish in the sea” is the lack of sea or at least lack of time to explore it in ones life. My pond is bigger than my sea. I think we’re taking it too far at this point lol.
shellfisher 4y ago
> Because I don't get involved in all that backstabbing, gossiping crap. Making friends at work does not necessitate participating in backstabbing, gossiping crap. In fact, being a good friend generally requires not participating in backstabbing, gossiping crap. You could try being a good friend at work? You might get even more out of life than you currently do.

dnissley 4y ago

This is definitely a way to go about things. What would you say are the trade offs involved compared to other ways?

As_You_Wish 4y ago
Yes, it is a way. The issue is which is the percentage better way. I mean, someone can be mean and spiteful and hate everything about work and make everyone around them miserable. Certianly we've all known people like that. And that means it certainly is a way to go about things. But percentage-wise of a way to go, I don't know, maybe it works better for the person who is mean and spiteful and makes everyone around them miserable. So I guess you're right. If someone wants to be miserable to themselves and others, if someone wants to make friends and then get involved in the factional warefare, if someone wants to make friends and then you are promoted over your friend who wants the promotion, or they are promoted and you are not, and then have to fire your friend, or get fired, and then hate them forever and feel like you were stabbed in the back....well, hey, it's your life. I don't know what other "ways" you are specifically talking about, though. But as I said, the trade-off is that with MY way, you don't get involved in petty office backstab bullshit, you don't have arguments with your friends after you know them for a while and find out that you hate them and now you have to work at a place and avoid the other person all the time. But I, since I only work on the pure professional level, ALL of this never happens to me. Never. I go to work, do my job, friendly and polite to all, diplomatic, tactful, never engage in office backstabbings, no factionalisms, everyone likes me because of it, everyone respects me. I don't get sidelined by petty bullshit, I don't have people coming up to me and talking to me for 45 minutes about how much they hate such-and-such person and why they are horrible person. I don't know....call me crazy, but I like being liked, and not drawn into work bullshit, because everyone knows better and doesn't even try to involve me. So how can anyone ever be mad at me, unless I fuck up on my job? Then that's on me and is ok. But I rarely screw up on my job because I don't waste my time on bullshit like factional office warfare and gossiping, and instead, do this think called work - doing what I was hired to do.
- badpun 4y ago
  Interestingly, I'm very friendly at work, and yet rarely if ever someone comes to my desk to bitch about someone else for 45 minutes. You might be exagerating the cons of estabilishing connections with people. I, for one, prefer to make friends, because this just makes passing the days so much easier and more fun. Without people to talk to, the job (esp. being stuck in an office) would feel a lot like doing a prison sentence. I can't find joy in gamifying the tasks like you do.

elhudy 4y ago

Hmm. Everything about this approach to work seems so stoic (?) except the reluctance to make friends at work. There are clearly reasons not to make friends at work. But those reasons are driven by the underlying goal of putting your career above your personal well-being and maintenance of close relationships - which seems contrary to your overall message. I have made some of my best lifelong friends from old jobs, and wouldn't give up those relationships for anything. Really good people are worth keeping close in your life, and I don't buy the "million fish in the sea" argument.

solumunus 4y ago
> I have made some of my best lifelong friends from old jobs, and wouldn't give up those relationships for anything. Really good people are worth keeping close in your life, and I don't buy the "million fish in the sea" argument. If you've made multiple high value, life long friends at work then how can you not buy that argument? From a relatively small pond you've landed multiple great catches.
- aaaaaaaaata 4y ago
  Yep. Million fish in the sea — just, not yours, if you swim around the same old beach.
- elhudy 4y ago
  What makes you think my pond is relatively small?
  - solumunus 4y ago
    Because we're comparing it to "the sea"?
    - elhudy 4y ago
      I guess part of my rejection of the “the million fish in the sea” is the lack of sea or at least lack of time to explore it in ones life. My pond is bigger than my sea. I think we’re taking it too far at this point lol.

shellfisher 4y ago

> Because I don't get involved in all that backstabbing, gossiping crap. Making friends at work does not necessitate participating in backstabbing, gossiping crap. In fact, being a good friend generally requires not participating in backstabbing, gossiping crap. You could try being a good friend at work? You might get even more out of life than you currently do.