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I have a friend who is a Barker, who I am always annoyed at because I am a Meek type and I more often than not cannot finish making my points to her. I do not f
by rollinDyno 4y ago
I have a friend who is a Barker, who I am always annoyed at because I am a Meek type and I more often than not cannot finish making my points to her. I do not feel that she listens to me. Why do I still like her?
This article, to me, pairs very well with the other top post on HN right now [1]. Thanks to that article I learned that we feel more connected towards someone the quicker they reply to us [2].
There's no conclusive evidence for my theory here that being an interrupter can also trigger the "connectability" heuristic, but it's certainly worth considering.
[1] https://experimentalhistory.substack.com/p/good-conversations-have-lots-of-doorknobs https://experimentalhistory.substack.com/p/good-conversation...
[2] https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2116915119 https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2116915119
- deleted 4y ago[deleted]
- avg_dev 4y agoThanks very much for that PNAS article. If I may attempt a brief summary: listening (paying attention) matters.
- wanderingstan 4y agoThat article makes me wonder if this is another reason video calls remain inferior for connecting with coworkers: It’s impossible to (appear to) respond quickly with even the slightest network lag.
- Cthulhu_ 4y agoIt's an issue with a lot of people who therefore feel unwelcome - mainly thinking of the software development industry here, and of gender differences. It's like if you're not blustery and assertive, you won't get a foot in the door in these discussions and your views on a matter will be unheard. I think group conversations at work should have a moderator. Use a talking stick if needs be.
- rollinDyno 4y agoThis is interesting, this friend of mine has had issues within our organization and has told me there is people who want to remover her.