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> Disruptive children are caused by parents who frankly just don’t give a shit. Throwing more money into schools won’t ever fix this problem. I was a disruptiv

> Disruptive children are caused by parents who frankly just don’t give a shit. Throwing more money into schools won’t ever fix this problem. I was a disruptive child and my parents were the opposite of people who didn’t give a shit. Both of them highly valued education and spent plenty of time with me. they just had to contend with a child who wasn’t well behaved at school and it was genetics more than anything they did. They spent thousands of dollars on therapists and medicines and it didn’t help that much. Luckily for me, puberty seemed to turn things around and I ended up doing well in high school and very well in college (at a good school). Now I’ve got two little trouble makers of my own and it’s pretty obvious to me where they got those genes from. I agree that dealing with problematic kids is a pain in the ass for teachers and I do try to thank them when I see them, and I even agree that parenting is often the issue, but a lot of it is genetics and luck.

_vdpp 4y ago
That’s valid, there are different kinds of disruptive kids. A good friend of mine at high school was very bright, kind of a troublemaker, diagnosed with ADHD, took prescription Ritalin, was a bit of a pain in the ass with his teachers, but had parents who cared and he ended up graduating and doing fine.
- birdyrooster 4y ago
  I never formed good habits and I really wish my parent prioritized that (Ritalin) over growing big and tall for a minuscule chance of making it in pro sports.
  - MerelyMortal 4y ago
    I volunteer with kids, and I see parents who prioritize sports where they have to pay a lot of money for fees over more scholastic and much cheaper programs for the smaller chance of getting a sports scholarship/career than more plentiful academic scholarships. I don't know if they think their children just aren't capable intellectually or what.
    - falcolas 4y ago
      At least in my case, sports was my parent’s opportunity to socialize. It was never really about my interests or well being, they didn’t want to lose their contextual friends and contacts. It was so bad I was disallowed from doing speech and debate in high school.
    - SoftTalker 4y ago
      There are some parents with delusions about their kids being pro athletes, but many are just providing their kid the opportunity to do something he likes, and can afford to do it. There is a whole industry around youth sports that is designed to extract money from parents. That doesn't mean that the kids don't enjoy it though.
  - balfirevic 4y ago
    > over growing big and tall How does a parent prioritize their kid growing tall?
    - SoftTalker 4y ago
      Hold them back a year or two so they are bigger than everyone else in class and are a grown man/woman by the time they are high school sophomores.
    - birdyrooster 4y ago
      She claimed Ritalin and stimulants would stunt my growth
  - irrational 4y ago
    > a minuscule chance of making it in pro sports. I’ve asked this question of some acquaintances that prioritize sports above all else. Their kids play different sports all year around and are on all these traveling teams. I’ve asked them if they seriously think their kids will be good enough to get a college scholarship or play pro sports (I’ve seen them, they won’t be). They just shrug. I have to presume this is how they were raised and so they are doing it to their own kids.
    - bena 4y ago
      "The sieve" is insane. And it begins early. While there are plenty of people who get to play professional sports who weren't in peewee, who didn't do travel ball, etc. It does not hurt. Because in order to even get a shot to play professionally, you have to play well in college, preferably at a notable school. In order to get a shot to play well in a notable college, you have to play well in high school. That means you have to make varsity, play on the team, be a starter. And that usually means you have to be ready to play when you get to high school. And the best way to do that is to play peewee, travel ball, etc. You'll find out if the kid is coachable, if he can be made coachable, if he's got aptitude, etc.
veltas 4y ago
Yup this was me in school as well, hope to have kids and not looking forward to this aspect!
phonescreen_man 4y ago
I thought it was well known that disruptive kids are often unrecognised creative/smart kids who are challenging the authority/leadership of the teacher. There has been some research on this in the UK, look into some of the work by David Price around creative test answers.
- D13Fd 4y ago
  That’s not what he said.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
deanCommie 4y ago
Dude, are you me? I'm the same way. Highly educated parents, very supportive. I was a major disruptive shithead all through school - in retrospect probably because I was bored. I was not any better as a teenager, but calmed down post university graduation. Now I have a highly disruptive 2-year old that Preschool calls "behavioural issues" and wants psychologists involved. And I'm like "yes, we're willing to have those conversations", but secretly I think "He'll have the same journey as me - I will need to make sure he's sufficiently physically and intellectually stimulated for the next 20 years, and everything will turn out fine." Of course it's not fair to place that burden on others - his peers, or educators - and I will do as much as I can in extracurricular time, BUT, there's only so much my partner and I can do.

_vdpp 4y ago

That’s valid, there are different kinds of disruptive kids. A good friend of mine at high school was very bright, kind of a troublemaker, diagnosed with ADHD, took prescription Ritalin, was a bit of a pain in the ass with his teachers, but had parents who cared and he ended up graduating and doing fine.

birdyrooster 4y ago
I never formed good habits and I really wish my parent prioritized that (Ritalin) over growing big and tall for a minuscule chance of making it in pro sports.
- MerelyMortal 4y ago
  I volunteer with kids, and I see parents who prioritize sports where they have to pay a lot of money for fees over more scholastic and much cheaper programs for the smaller chance of getting a sports scholarship/career than more plentiful academic scholarships. I don't know if they think their children just aren't capable intellectually or what.
  - falcolas 4y ago
    At least in my case, sports was my parent’s opportunity to socialize. It was never really about my interests or well being, they didn’t want to lose their contextual friends and contacts. It was so bad I was disallowed from doing speech and debate in high school.
  - SoftTalker 4y ago
    There are some parents with delusions about their kids being pro athletes, but many are just providing their kid the opportunity to do something he likes, and can afford to do it. There is a whole industry around youth sports that is designed to extract money from parents. That doesn't mean that the kids don't enjoy it though.
- balfirevic 4y ago
  > over growing big and tall How does a parent prioritize their kid growing tall?
  - SoftTalker 4y ago
    Hold them back a year or two so they are bigger than everyone else in class and are a grown man/woman by the time they are high school sophomores.
  - birdyrooster 4y ago
    She claimed Ritalin and stimulants would stunt my growth
- irrational 4y ago
  > a minuscule chance of making it in pro sports. I’ve asked this question of some acquaintances that prioritize sports above all else. Their kids play different sports all year around and are on all these traveling teams. I’ve asked them if they seriously think their kids will be good enough to get a college scholarship or play pro sports (I’ve seen them, they won’t be). They just shrug. I have to presume this is how they were raised and so they are doing it to their own kids.
  - bena 4y ago
    "The sieve" is insane. And it begins early. While there are plenty of people who get to play professional sports who weren't in peewee, who didn't do travel ball, etc. It does not hurt. Because in order to even get a shot to play professionally, you have to play well in college, preferably at a notable school. In order to get a shot to play well in a notable college, you have to play well in high school. That means you have to make varsity, play on the team, be a starter. And that usually means you have to be ready to play when you get to high school. And the best way to do that is to play peewee, travel ball, etc. You'll find out if the kid is coachable, if he can be made coachable, if he's got aptitude, etc.

veltas 4y ago

Yup this was me in school as well, hope to have kids and not looking forward to this aspect!

phonescreen_man 4y ago

I thought it was well known that disruptive kids are often unrecognised creative/smart kids who are challenging the authority/leadership of the teacher. There has been some research on this in the UK, look into some of the work by David Price around creative test answers.

D13Fd 4y ago
That’s not what he said.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

deanCommie 4y ago

Dude, are you me? I'm the same way. Highly educated parents, very supportive. I was a major disruptive shithead all through school - in retrospect probably because I was bored. I was not any better as a teenager, but calmed down post university graduation. Now I have a highly disruptive 2-year old that Preschool calls "behavioural issues" and wants psychologists involved. And I'm like "yes, we're willing to have those conversations", but secretly I think "He'll have the same journey as me - I will need to make sure he's sufficiently physically and intellectually stimulated for the next 20 years, and everything will turn out fine." Of course it's not fair to place that burden on others - his peers, or educators - and I will do as much as I can in extracurricular time, BUT, there's only so much my partner and I can do.