I've personally never experienced this sort of thing. It's entirely possible I'm a combination of lucky and privileged (eg I'm NT as far as I know). That aside,

I've personally never experienced this sort of thing. It's entirely possible I'm a combination of lucky and privileged (eg I'm NT as far as I know). That aside, I feel like you need to determine what your values are and pursue lines of questioning along those. They should be things that are near deal-breakers. I just don't really understand not asking a question whose answer is highly valuable to you because you're worried about getting red-flagged by the company. I also don't really get pursuing offers from companies you don't care about unless there are heavy job market pressures eg being a new grad/looking for your first job in the industry. Even then, the idea is to just get your first job, so your values are different than when you're more senior. Recruiters can absolutely be awful. I've straight up ghosted multiple because they were unable to take "no" for an answer.