4 ms·

The "exceptions" is where racist attitudes get broken down. It creates the cognitive dissonance. It doesn't happen right away, but its a significant step in t

by starkd 4y ago

The "exceptions" is where racist attitudes get broken down. It creates the cognitive dissonance. It doesn't happen right away, but its a significant step in the right direction. Yes. This includes most "old people". A lot of the talk an jabs or using racial epithets is superficial when you get right down to it. At least, in my experience.

spywaregorilla 4y ago
Well allow me to throw my two anecotes into the ring. My grandfather is an asian immigrant who dreamed of coming to the US, which he did late in life. He died in a hospital angrily denying help from black staff members. My grandmother is a sweet old italian lady. She got real mad when one of her grandkids started dating a black guy. She doesn't believe in mixed race couples / people. I'm mixed race but of course I'm "One of the good ones" largely because I'm whiteish. I assure you her liking me has not changed her general opinion at all. They're very nice at the surface level. You wouldn't expect it, but oh boy was it there an it was deep. I really, really do not believe that the racial epithets are superficial. It's not a uniquely old person problem by any definition, but it's extremely common.
- starkd 4y ago
  My main concern is that people are not held back because of it. At some point, everyone needs to develop an innate resiliance (a thick skin) in how they deal with negativity. I think that, in the U.S. at least, there is a greater danger of a social thought-police where people feel like they can't say what they think. When my grandmother was dying in a hospital, she had some dementia. I don't think she ever uttered a racial epithet to anyone in her whole life, but one day a hospital worker was trying to clean her room up and making a bit of a commotion, she sat up and told him to go away, that she did not like black people. We apolized to the man who seemed to understand the situation. My point is that people are complicated, sometimes they say things on reflex they would not say in a healthier more positive frame of mind.
  - alphabettsy 4y ago
    > greater danger of social thought-police People are concerned about existing as they were born as well. I think those people are less concerned about whether or not your grandma can be honest about her feelings towards black people. > I don’t think she uttered a racial epithet to anyone in her whole life I’ll start by saying this is an assumption and likely untrue. As previously stated, lots of people who are racist are never overtly racist.
    - starkd 4y ago
      Their existence can not be negated by inner thoughts or insults. My only point is much of racism is reflexive and most of the time not acted on in any measurable way. I've heard many other instances of people using racial epithets or politically incorrect jokes that are nothing more. People generally find a way to get along and don't like to waste energy on unnecessary strife if they can help it.
      - spywaregorilla 4y ago
        This just seems so willfully naive.
TMWNN 4y ago
>The "exceptions" is where racist attitudes get broken down. It creates the cognitive dissonance. It doesn't happen right away, but its a significant step in the right direction. This is why I've never liked the notion of sneering at those who say "some of my best friends are race/ethnicity", as if that is proof of that person's irremediable evilness. Isn't it a good thing for people to, however superficially or insincerely, consider "exceptions"? To put another way, if people instead said "I consider race/ethnicity to be 100% bad", would this be better? Of course not.

by starkd 4y ago

spywaregorilla 4y ago

Well allow me to throw my two anecotes into the ring. My grandfather is an asian immigrant who dreamed of coming to the US, which he did late in life. He died in a hospital angrily denying help from black staff members. My grandmother is a sweet old italian lady. She got real mad when one of her grandkids started dating a black guy. She doesn't believe in mixed race couples / people. I'm mixed race but of course I'm "One of the good ones" largely because I'm whiteish. I assure you her liking me has not changed her general opinion at all. They're very nice at the surface level. You wouldn't expect it, but oh boy was it there an it was deep. I really, really do not believe that the racial epithets are superficial. It's not a uniquely old person problem by any definition, but it's extremely common.

starkd 4y ago
My main concern is that people are not held back because of it. At some point, everyone needs to develop an innate resiliance (a thick skin) in how they deal with negativity. I think that, in the U.S. at least, there is a greater danger of a social thought-police where people feel like they can't say what they think. When my grandmother was dying in a hospital, she had some dementia. I don't think she ever uttered a racial epithet to anyone in her whole life, but one day a hospital worker was trying to clean her room up and making a bit of a commotion, she sat up and told him to go away, that she did not like black people. We apolized to the man who seemed to understand the situation. My point is that people are complicated, sometimes they say things on reflex they would not say in a healthier more positive frame of mind.
- alphabettsy 4y ago
  > greater danger of social thought-police People are concerned about existing as they were born as well. I think those people are less concerned about whether or not your grandma can be honest about her feelings towards black people. > I don’t think she uttered a racial epithet to anyone in her whole life I’ll start by saying this is an assumption and likely untrue. As previously stated, lots of people who are racist are never overtly racist.
  - starkd 4y ago
    Their existence can not be negated by inner thoughts or insults. My only point is much of racism is reflexive and most of the time not acted on in any measurable way. I've heard many other instances of people using racial epithets or politically incorrect jokes that are nothing more. People generally find a way to get along and don't like to waste energy on unnecessary strife if they can help it.
    - spywaregorilla 4y ago
      This just seems so willfully naive.

TMWNN 4y ago

>The "exceptions" is where racist attitudes get broken down. It creates the cognitive dissonance. It doesn't happen right away, but its a significant step in the right direction. This is why I've never liked the notion of sneering at those who say "some of my best friends are race/ethnicity", as if that is proof of that person's irremediable evilness. Isn't it a good thing for people to, however superficially or insincerely, consider "exceptions"? To put another way, if people instead said "I consider race/ethnicity to be 100% bad", would this be better? Of course not.