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I have a close friend who lost their father to brain cancer ten years ago. To this day, whenever she watches a movie or tv show with an old man dying in a hospi

I have a close friend who lost their father to brain cancer ten years ago. To this day, whenever she watches a movie or tv show with an old man dying in a hospital bed, she starts crying uncontrollably. It's very sad, and I feel for her. What has surprised me in trying to help my friend avoid these kinds of scenes is how many films and tv shows get flagged. Even popular sitcoms (situational comedies) often have a "someone's dad dies" episode. It's kind of weird to realize the frequency of these scenes once you're explicitly watching out for them. "Does the Dog Die?" seems like a great tool for anyone who has a hard time watching specific types of scenes.

kqr 4y ago
It's not too surprising. Stories and other forms of art have helped us deal with death for as long as we have had speech, I suppose.
MollyRealized 4y ago
My father did not die, but when I was a very young adolescent, he went in for heart surgery at a time when same was a bit more medically dangerous than nowadays. He did survive. Some years later, when a father and child said goodbye in an "E.R." episode at college, I (to my own surprise) went into near-hysterics and had to call him. 20+ years later, when scrolling through TikTok, someone put a similar scene from "Supernatural" in a video and it shook me hard. I can definitely sympathize with your friend; in each of those two cases, the reaction proceeded with nearly no cognitive thought or ability to affect it via a thinking process. Trauma is a bit of a puppeteer.
- Ntrails 4y ago
  I remember watching a terminally ill patient in ER writing letters to his children to open when they reached milestones or after his death. Knowing my father had done the same for me and that connection was brutal, like it floored me. I'd not skip that episode or something like it for having emotional punch though, even knowing I'm probably still just as likely to react strongly.
WalterBright 4y ago
My mother died young of cancer. I do not find any movies centered around a character dying of cancer to be remotely entertaining. Yuk.
tluyben2 4y ago
I had cancer and a stroke; whenever I see either in a movie I get a panic attack right there (I take maybe 1 Xanax a year and it is always during a movie or series when something like that happens) (especially strokes as that was like taking acid and having a bad trip).
adhesive_wombat 4y ago
Another thing that sticks out for me is alcohol. I'm not teetotal, I just drink extremely infrequently. Since starting to drink less, it's quite noticeable how much media relates to alcohol use (and abuse). Birthday cards are especially fond of alcohol references, but also media where what looks like alcohol-dependent behaviours are played for laughs. I an fortunate not to be an alcoholic and don't have one in close family: it much be quite hard to deal with it if it were a trigger.
rnk 4y ago
This happens to me too.

kqr 4y ago

It's not too surprising. Stories and other forms of art have helped us deal with death for as long as we have had speech, I suppose.

MollyRealized 4y ago

My father did not die, but when I was a very young adolescent, he went in for heart surgery at a time when same was a bit more medically dangerous than nowadays. He did survive. Some years later, when a father and child said goodbye in an "E.R." episode at college, I (to my own surprise) went into near-hysterics and had to call him. 20+ years later, when scrolling through TikTok, someone put a similar scene from "Supernatural" in a video and it shook me hard. I can definitely sympathize with your friend; in each of those two cases, the reaction proceeded with nearly no cognitive thought or ability to affect it via a thinking process. Trauma is a bit of a puppeteer.

Ntrails 4y ago
I remember watching a terminally ill patient in ER writing letters to his children to open when they reached milestones or after his death. Knowing my father had done the same for me and that connection was brutal, like it floored me. I'd not skip that episode or something like it for having emotional punch though, even knowing I'm probably still just as likely to react strongly.

WalterBright 4y ago

My mother died young of cancer. I do not find any movies centered around a character dying of cancer to be remotely entertaining. Yuk.

tluyben2 4y ago

I had cancer and a stroke; whenever I see either in a movie I get a panic attack right there (I take maybe 1 Xanax a year and it is always during a movie or series when something like that happens) (especially strokes as that was like taking acid and having a bad trip).

adhesive_wombat 4y ago

Another thing that sticks out for me is alcohol. I'm not teetotal, I just drink extremely infrequently. Since starting to drink less, it's quite noticeable how much media relates to alcohol use (and abuse). Birthday cards are especially fond of alcohol references, but also media where what looks like alcohol-dependent behaviours are played for laughs. I an fortunate not to be an alcoholic and don't have one in close family: it much be quite hard to deal with it if it were a trigger.

rnk 4y ago

This happens to me too.