In a comment that says "masculine insecurities and one upping your neighbors," I reply with an anecdote about a female feeling safer, showing that the statement

In a comment that says "masculine insecurities and one upping your neighbors," I reply with an anecdote about a female feeling safer, showing that the statement is not universal. You say the comment is lacking in self awareness because she has become what she feared. I'd say that is not lacking self awareness though it definitely feeds into the "race to the bottom." That is orthogonal to self awareness, it is tragedy of the commons. She has no obligation to lower her sense of safety to make others feel better.