4 ms·

> getting dates is easy Citation needed. I'm sure many here will vehemently disagree.

CocaKoala 4y ago
Ask your friend if they want to get lunch with you - problem solved. "That's not a date" Why not? "My friends are all in relationships" Make more friends.
- coldtea 4y ago
  - "I'm from a poor country and my family can't afford to eat" - "Be more lucky"
  - CocaKoala 4y ago
    You are correct, the advice to achieve the third level of Maslow's Hierarchy does not address what you have to do in order to achieve the first two levels.
    - coldtea 4y ago
      That was actually a parody of the third level advice given, just in lower level terms to highlight the absurdity...
      - CocaKoala 4y ago
        The question was "how to get dates" - "how to get friends" is a different question. The easy way to get dates is to ask your friends on dates, and the easiest way to do that is to ask a friend to get lunch with you. What part of that reduces to "get lucky"?
        coldtea 4y ago
        First of all, that taken literally is just bad advice. You're friends with your friends, you don't ask them on dates. It basically translates to "try to get romantic with one of your friends [of your preferred sex]". Is that supposed to be how people get dates? So, I take it charitably that you meant "you ask people you know" (not your actual friends/buddies) on dates. Which is as good as saying "to get a job, just ask for one" to an unemployed person. To which the proper response is "Gee, why didn't I think of that..."
        CocaKoala 4y ago
        I disagree that it's bad advice - it can certainly be applied badly, but so can anything. You meet somebody, you become friends with them, you start dating them, you get married - that's an extremely natural arc. You shouldn't ask all your friends on dates (just like you shouldn't ask everybody you meet on a date) and you should be cognizant of hints that somebody isn't interested in dating you, but to say that somebody is EITHER a friend OR a romantic partner and there's no overlap between the two is strange to me. And this isn't the only way to get dates - dating apps certainly try and short-circuit the "be friends" part. But I've been friends with every girl I've dated before we started dating, including the woman I'm now married to. If you're not friends with somebody, even a little bit, why do you want to date them? edit: And of course, if you're going into friendships with the intention of trying to date the person, that might work out poorly. Meet somebody, be their friend, and if you're both open to something developing, it can happen. Asking them to have lunch is a way to start that.

Ask your friend if they want to get lunch with you - problem solved. "That's not a date" Why not? "My friends are all in relationships" Make more friends.

coldtea 4y ago
- "I'm from a poor country and my family can't afford to eat" - "Be more lucky"
- CocaKoala 4y ago
  You are correct, the advice to achieve the third level of Maslow's Hierarchy does not address what you have to do in order to achieve the first two levels.
  - coldtea 4y ago
    That was actually a parody of the third level advice given, just in lower level terms to highlight the absurdity...
    - CocaKoala 4y ago
      The question was "how to get dates" - "how to get friends" is a different question. The easy way to get dates is to ask your friends on dates, and the easiest way to do that is to ask a friend to get lunch with you. What part of that reduces to "get lucky"?
      - coldtea 4y ago
        First of all, that taken literally is just bad advice. You're friends with your friends, you don't ask them on dates. It basically translates to "try to get romantic with one of your friends [of your preferred sex]". Is that supposed to be how people get dates? So, I take it charitably that you meant "you ask people you know" (not your actual friends/buddies) on dates. Which is as good as saying "to get a job, just ask for one" to an unemployed person. To which the proper response is "Gee, why didn't I think of that..."
        CocaKoala 4y ago
        I disagree that it's bad advice - it can certainly be applied badly, but so can anything. You meet somebody, you become friends with them, you start dating them, you get married - that's an extremely natural arc. You shouldn't ask all your friends on dates (just like you shouldn't ask everybody you meet on a date) and you should be cognizant of hints that somebody isn't interested in dating you, but to say that somebody is EITHER a friend OR a romantic partner and there's no overlap between the two is strange to me. And this isn't the only way to get dates - dating apps certainly try and short-circuit the "be friends" part. But I've been friends with every girl I've dated before we started dating, including the woman I'm now married to. If you're not friends with somebody, even a little bit, why do you want to date them? edit: And of course, if you're going into friendships with the intention of trying to date the person, that might work out poorly. Meet somebody, be their friend, and if you're both open to something developing, it can happen. Asking them to have lunch is a way to start that.