4 ms·

No, 80% of women are sharing the top 20% of men. On dating apps this trend is further exaggerated, men "swipe right" on roughly 50% of profiles while women swip

No, 80% of women are sharing the top 20% of men. On dating apps this trend is further exaggerated, men "swipe right" on roughly 50% of profiles while women swipe right on 5%.

toomuchtodo 4y ago
Also, educated well earning women don’t date down (in contrast to men who did/do). There is also some evidence from a longitudinal study that childless, unpartnered women have high levels of happiness. Finally, social standards around Men being providers remains (in an economic environment that challenges that). Take that for what you will. (TLDR dating marketplace and the value of participants within the market has rapidly shifted) https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/10/dating-gap-hook-up-culture-female-graduates https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/10/dating-... https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-h... https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/09/20/americans-see-men-as-the-financial-providers-even-as-womens-contributions-grow/ https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/09/20/americans-s...
- PraliteMonk 4y ago
  "Older white women account for 58 percent of adults who have used antidepressants for at least five years." Doesn't sound like a high level of happiness to me. https://archive.ph/vSVWx https://archive.ph/vSVWx
  - toomuchtodo 4y ago
    Just as I wouldn’t fault someone for taking anti seizure medication to prevent seizures, I wouldn’t say someone isn’t happy because they’re taking a medication to correct a brain chemical imbalance. The meds are to help enable the ability to experience happiness, not make you happy.
- BlargMcLarg 4y ago
  >there is also some evidence from a longitudinal study that childless, unpartnered women have high levels of happiness. That often cited study is very shaky at best and has been challenged numerous times. Check Wikipedia[0] on the author in question if you wish to dive into that rabbit hole. Should also be obvious the study in question has to be taken in the context of a major shift in expectations on women. If anything, it's a miracle his 'findings' did not say the same for men too. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Dolan_(behavioural_scientist)#Happy_Ever_After https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Dolan_(behavioural_scient...
  - toomuchtodo 4y ago
    I don’t have the citations to back it up, but you get to the crux of it with shifting expectations of women. It feels (from all of the data I’ve consumed) like there is a shift away from needing a companion, marriage, or children for a substantial cohort of women (and instead, prioritization of self actualization, career, and more tenuous relationships in varying degrees), leading to a cohort of men who will be left without a partner. My hunch is that this is because it’s normalizing at a societal level (and a woman not following the traditional life script no longer carries the social penalty it once did).
    - BlargMcLarg 4y ago
      Purely spitballing here. I could accept women being unhappier in marriage than single, but I'm skeptical on the outcome being different for men than women without there being a very simple way for society to solve it. The number one complaint I hear among women not wanting to get married / being picky is the potential future of requiring both a 0.6+FTE job and doing 30+ hours of housekeeping. That complaint is near universal among the developed world. Yet, there are plenty of men willing to share household duties, which in turn makes their number of hours spent "working" higher than before. Exactly the same situation as women. Yet somehow, the study would conclude something surpasses that for men to make them happier in marriage than women, while other studies tend to claim women are the ones who actively seek and value comfort and companionship more than men. That's not to mention child count going down and children used to be one of the biggest time / responsibility sinks. All of that sounds rather fishy. It's not like men don't have their fair share of things to work through in a modern marriage, and bad picks can be, well, not picked. Especially today, with those traditional norms being removed.
pleasantpeasant 4y ago
You can have casual sex and still feel lonely. Tons of people are single and having sex with random hookups and still feeling lonely. And just because 80% of women are matching with only 20% of men, that doesn't mean they're actually talking or meeting up.
lapcat 4y ago
> No, 80% of women are sharing the top 20% of men. This seems highly exaggerated. Can you cite any empirical evidence?
- norwalkbear 4y ago
  It's not. Tinder and okcupid released shocking data that confirmed it.
  - lapcat 4y ago
    > It's not. Tinder and okcupid released shocking data that confirmed it. If the claim was that 80% of women on dating apps are sharing the top 20% of men on dating apps, I could believe it. But that's missing something huge: "Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users". Women are a minority on dating apps, despite being equal in population. They're significantly underrepresented. So dating apps don't even explain the situation of the majority of women.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]
googlryas 4y ago
How are these women "sharing" the men? Is it like Monica gets Ted on Monday/Tuesday, Alice gets him Weds/Thurs, and Betty and Sandra split him every other weekend? Is your assertion that 80% of women are actively in a relationship with a man who is also in a relationship with 3 other women?

No, 80% of women are sharing the top 20% of men. On dating apps this trend is further exaggerated, men "swipe right" on roughly 50% of profiles while women swipe right on 5%.

toomuchtodo 4y ago

Also, educated well earning women don’t date down (in contrast to men who did/do). There is also some evidence from a longitudinal study that childless, unpartnered women have high levels of happiness. Finally, social standards around Men being providers remains (in an economic environment that challenges that). Take that for what you will. (TLDR dating marketplace and the value of participants within the market has rapidly shifted) https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/10/dating-gap-hook-up-culture-female-graduates https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/10/dating-... https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-h... https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/09/20/americans-see-men-as-the-financial-providers-even-as-womens-contributions-grow/ https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/09/20/americans-s...

PraliteMonk 4y ago
"Older white women account for 58 percent of adults who have used antidepressants for at least five years." Doesn't sound like a high level of happiness to me. https://archive.ph/vSVWx https://archive.ph/vSVWx
- toomuchtodo 4y ago
  Just as I wouldn’t fault someone for taking anti seizure medication to prevent seizures, I wouldn’t say someone isn’t happy because they’re taking a medication to correct a brain chemical imbalance. The meds are to help enable the ability to experience happiness, not make you happy.
BlargMcLarg 4y ago
>there is also some evidence from a longitudinal study that childless, unpartnered women have high levels of happiness. That often cited study is very shaky at best and has been challenged numerous times. Check Wikipedia[0] on the author in question if you wish to dive into that rabbit hole. Should also be obvious the study in question has to be taken in the context of a major shift in expectations on women. If anything, it's a miracle his 'findings' did not say the same for men too. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Dolan_(behavioural_scientist)#Happy_Ever_After https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Dolan_(behavioural_scient...
- toomuchtodo 4y ago
  I don’t have the citations to back it up, but you get to the crux of it with shifting expectations of women. It feels (from all of the data I’ve consumed) like there is a shift away from needing a companion, marriage, or children for a substantial cohort of women (and instead, prioritization of self actualization, career, and more tenuous relationships in varying degrees), leading to a cohort of men who will be left without a partner. My hunch is that this is because it’s normalizing at a societal level (and a woman not following the traditional life script no longer carries the social penalty it once did).
  - BlargMcLarg 4y ago
    Purely spitballing here. I could accept women being unhappier in marriage than single, but I'm skeptical on the outcome being different for men than women without there being a very simple way for society to solve it. The number one complaint I hear among women not wanting to get married / being picky is the potential future of requiring both a 0.6+FTE job and doing 30+ hours of housekeeping. That complaint is near universal among the developed world. Yet, there are plenty of men willing to share household duties, which in turn makes their number of hours spent "working" higher than before. Exactly the same situation as women. Yet somehow, the study would conclude something surpasses that for men to make them happier in marriage than women, while other studies tend to claim women are the ones who actively seek and value comfort and companionship more than men. That's not to mention child count going down and children used to be one of the biggest time / responsibility sinks. All of that sounds rather fishy. It's not like men don't have their fair share of things to work through in a modern marriage, and bad picks can be, well, not picked. Especially today, with those traditional norms being removed.

pleasantpeasant 4y ago

You can have casual sex and still feel lonely. Tons of people are single and having sex with random hookups and still feeling lonely. And just because 80% of women are matching with only 20% of men, that doesn't mean they're actually talking or meeting up.

lapcat 4y ago

> No, 80% of women are sharing the top 20% of men. This seems highly exaggerated. Can you cite any empirical evidence?

norwalkbear 4y ago
It's not. Tinder and okcupid released shocking data that confirmed it.
- lapcat 4y ago
  > It's not. Tinder and okcupid released shocking data that confirmed it. If the claim was that 80% of women on dating apps are sharing the top 20% of men on dating apps, I could believe it. But that's missing something huge: "Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users". Women are a minority on dating apps, despite being equal in population. They're significantly underrepresented. So dating apps don't even explain the situation of the majority of women.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]

googlryas 4y ago

How are these women "sharing" the men? Is it like Monica gets Ted on Monday/Tuesday, Alice gets him Weds/Thurs, and Betty and Sandra split him every other weekend? Is your assertion that 80% of women are actively in a relationship with a man who is also in a relationship with 3 other women?