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Violent agreement on the 1:1 point. The hard part is, making it natural as it would be in a face-to-face setting, and I think for remote the frequency has to be

Violent agreement on the 1:1 point. The hard part is, making it natural as it would be in a face-to-face setting, and I think for remote the frequency has to be much higher than if you saw someone f2f. The important thing to think about is to make is as non-transactional as possible. Start with open and personal questions like, "How are you doing today?" and do as much listening, if not more, than you do talking. Focus on developing rapport with people, develop curiosity about their situation and circumstances as you can. Example, one of your colleagues is from Europe, ask them about how things have been for them there, where do they spend time when they can get away, etc. On the transactional part, I think you need to be very careful in that it seems like you want to get something out of these relationships you hope to build. Flip it around -- on every 1:1 ask them, "How can I help you?" (regardless it it's a person who is a peer, someone who reports to you, or someone above you). I firmly think that will be returned ten-fold.

subpixel 4y ago
As someone who regularly gets invited to this sort of conversation, my advice is to never try to connect with someone via a meeting that is not about solving a shared problem. Instead, connect with your colleagues through work, get involved with projects that expose and connect you with new people, join the virtual version of the softball team etc. If you meet a few less people but nobody associates you with an awkward call that was transparently about your careerism, you come out ahead.
- frellus 4y ago
  The problem is, as I think Op was alluding to, not all problems are shared, so how to build the supportive relationships that will help them. I think for you, what you need to get out of a 1:1 might be different from other people, and that's ok - not everyone is the same. You'll notice my point though where I suggested the Op use the phrase, "How can I help?" which is meant to create that shared interest. I just also suggest that not all conversations need to be transactional and in order to receive they should come at it with a "giver" mindset.

subpixel 4y ago

As someone who regularly gets invited to this sort of conversation, my advice is to never try to connect with someone via a meeting that is not about solving a shared problem. Instead, connect with your colleagues through work, get involved with projects that expose and connect you with new people, join the virtual version of the softball team etc. If you meet a few less people but nobody associates you with an awkward call that was transparently about your careerism, you come out ahead.

frellus 4y ago
The problem is, as I think Op was alluding to, not all problems are shared, so how to build the supportive relationships that will help them. I think for you, what you need to get out of a 1:1 might be different from other people, and that's ok - not everyone is the same. You'll notice my point though where I suggested the Op use the phrase, "How can I help?" which is meant to create that shared interest. I just also suggest that not all conversations need to be transactional and in order to receive they should come at it with a "giver" mindset.