3 ms·

Thank you! I have indeed tried as best as I could to not prescribe anything, and just present them as “these things have happened, they have not gone well, I th

by larve 4y ago

Thank you! I have indeed tried as best as I could to not prescribe anything, and just present them as “these things have happened, they have not gone well, I think I tried pretty hard, here’s what I think might have been happening”. If anything, I admit I am wrong daily (if not hourly), and I pretty much never blame anybody, because I don’t really understand what that means anyway. Someone could have done something better, sure, but who and how? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.

shlant 4y ago
I appreciate how much patience you've had in these comments. There are so many uncharitable and dismissive responses from people who clearly are not interested in understanding your perspective. I appreciate you sharing so much. I think it's really important we have more people providing these viewpoints. You communicated what (I believe) you intended to very effectively and sometimes you will still be misunderstood (and misrepresented) but IMO it's important you keep expressing your experiences. Thanks for the insightful read!
- larve 4y ago
  Thank you, this means a lot. I don't really take these uncharitable comments as dismissive, instead it's a good sounding board to see what different things I could try to do differently. The real value I hope is that it resonates with people and it makes them feel less alone / allows them to reframe past interactions. A trait I have heard about often in autistic communities is how hard it is to let go of something if you can't explain it. That is definitely very true of myself. Being able to contextualize and reframe a problem from incomprehension to "here is a path forward" is so helpful. The fact that so many comments here are evidence of a "problem" thus is a great opportunity in disguise.
  - shlant 4y ago
    > instead it's a good sounding board to see what different things I could try to do differently. > The fact that so many comments here are evidence of a "problem" thus is a great opportunity in disguise. This is the kind of self-reflection and maturity which makes the comments about you actually not able to admit when your wrong so much more absurd > A trait I have heard about often in autistic communities is how hard it is to let go of something if you can't explain it. That is definitely very true of myself. Seems to track with my experience as my wife is on the spectrum. She can find it hard to have someone not understand her or some truth about reality and she feels a strong desire to keep engaging until they do. Can be both a blessing or a curse - the latter moreso when she doesn't realize she is dealing with someone who is bad faith - but she is getting better at recognizing that.
knaik94 4y ago
Reading your comments I understand better now where you're coming from. My suggestion is maybe look into the best way to respectfully disagree with someone. I am not implying or suggesting you don't, I am just thinking of new approaches to this situation. I know most of us want to avoid conflict at all costs, but being able to debate without becoming frustrated and affected is a skill as well. I am unsure if it's necessary, but I can't think of another direction you could go.

by larve 4y ago

shlant 4y ago

I appreciate how much patience you've had in these comments. There are so many uncharitable and dismissive responses from people who clearly are not interested in understanding your perspective. I appreciate you sharing so much. I think it's really important we have more people providing these viewpoints. You communicated what (I believe) you intended to very effectively and sometimes you will still be misunderstood (and misrepresented) but IMO it's important you keep expressing your experiences. Thanks for the insightful read!

larve 4y ago
Thank you, this means a lot. I don't really take these uncharitable comments as dismissive, instead it's a good sounding board to see what different things I could try to do differently. The real value I hope is that it resonates with people and it makes them feel less alone / allows them to reframe past interactions. A trait I have heard about often in autistic communities is how hard it is to let go of something if you can't explain it. That is definitely very true of myself. Being able to contextualize and reframe a problem from incomprehension to "here is a path forward" is so helpful. The fact that so many comments here are evidence of a "problem" thus is a great opportunity in disguise.
- shlant 4y ago
  > instead it's a good sounding board to see what different things I could try to do differently. > The fact that so many comments here are evidence of a "problem" thus is a great opportunity in disguise. This is the kind of self-reflection and maturity which makes the comments about you actually not able to admit when your wrong so much more absurd > A trait I have heard about often in autistic communities is how hard it is to let go of something if you can't explain it. That is definitely very true of myself. Seems to track with my experience as my wife is on the spectrum. She can find it hard to have someone not understand her or some truth about reality and she feels a strong desire to keep engaging until they do. Can be both a blessing or a curse - the latter moreso when she doesn't realize she is dealing with someone who is bad faith - but she is getting better at recognizing that.

knaik94 4y ago

Reading your comments I understand better now where you're coming from. My suggestion is maybe look into the best way to respectfully disagree with someone. I am not implying or suggesting you don't, I am just thinking of new approaches to this situation. I know most of us want to avoid conflict at all costs, but being able to debate without becoming frustrated and affected is a skill as well. I am unsure if it's necessary, but I can't think of another direction you could go.