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> a somewhat combative frame This is a technical discussion we're talking about. In technical discussions, I don't want to faff around with euphemisms, circuml

> a somewhat combative frame This is a technical discussion we're talking about. In technical discussions, I don't want to faff around with euphemisms, circumlocutions, or fancy pronouns. It's hard enough to be clear in technical discourse, even if you aren't carrying those burdens. I expect people to speak directly, even if on the face of it their utterances might seem rude if spoken in a social context. If a colleague goes in with both fists and feet in a technical discussion, and wins, that doesn't mean they're no longer my friend - it just means I was wrong, and I learned something. Drawing blood in a technical discussion is just part of the life of a technician.

dalbasal 4y ago
Technical, nerdy people are often combative in passive aggressive ways. Assuming a "I am the objective one" is often just a blindspot. Everyone is subjective to some extent, and admitting that you are a person with a perspective (as opposed to a neutral observer) is useful for avoiding such tensions. Just admit that you have opinions, and present them as such. "I am concerned that we are taking on a risky project, without understanding the implications. I would like to analytically discuss performance, and plan this product to these performance goals. I prefer an approach based on..." Place yourself into the narrative. Not just other people.
- denton-scratch 4y ago
  > passive aggressive I think I know what that means; it's kind of pretending to be non-aggressive, while aggressing. I hope that, in a technical discussion, my adversary won't hold back. If they're angry, it's best for me if they tell me. Same if they're strongly opposed to my view. I don't want to have to guess where my adversary is coming from. We're not talking about dating, or getting on with the mother-in-law; it's about technical discussions. There's no reason you shouldn't be aggressive when presenting your view, and then get on fine with your adversary after the discussion's over.

dalbasal 4y ago

Technical, nerdy people are often combative in passive aggressive ways. Assuming a "I am the objective one" is often just a blindspot. Everyone is subjective to some extent, and admitting that you are a person with a perspective (as opposed to a neutral observer) is useful for avoiding such tensions. Just admit that you have opinions, and present them as such. "I am concerned that we are taking on a risky project, without understanding the implications. I would like to analytically discuss performance, and plan this product to these performance goals. I prefer an approach based on..." Place yourself into the narrative. Not just other people.

denton-scratch 4y ago
> passive aggressive I think I know what that means; it's kind of pretending to be non-aggressive, while aggressing. I hope that, in a technical discussion, my adversary won't hold back. If they're angry, it's best for me if they tell me. Same if they're strongly opposed to my view. I don't want to have to guess where my adversary is coming from. We're not talking about dating, or getting on with the mother-in-law; it's about technical discussions. There's no reason you shouldn't be aggressive when presenting your view, and then get on fine with your adversary after the discussion's over.