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That's been my experience as well. I'm much happier in my 30s, having enough experience that I've learned to let go and accept existential dread for the useles
by Bayart 4y ago
That's been my experience as well.
I'm much happier in my 30s, having enough experience that I've learned to let go and accept existential dread for the useless bother that it is, than I was in my 20s. Truly realizing that nobody's that special also was a qualitative leap.
Not that I'd call myself « smart » with a straight face, but I certainly used to care a lot about things outside of my control.
- Enginerrrd 4y agoSame, but part of that is I realized how much I didn't know about things which I was originally quite certain about. Epistemology is a field which is sadly usually confined to religious schools. It's pretty eye-opening when you start applying it to things you think you knew. It was more than a little disturbing when I started reading the methodology sections of scientific papers that make the headlines and I realized at LEAST 90% of them were absolute bullshit.
- Bayart 4y ago> Epistemology is a field which is sadly usually confined to religious schools. Funny that you're mentioning that, the Epistemology classes I took in university while I was studying History were some of my favourites.
- NotTameAntelope 4y agoYou have the life experience to know what will and won't affect you, and you've found an equilibrium of control and impact that apparently makes you happy. That's very you specific, not really related to your age, other than that it took you until your 30s to find that equilibrium. There's nothing at all written down anywhere that ensures such an equilibrium for everyone, however. Especially for folks who represent a minority in their society, life is a lot more threatening and a lot less controllable for them, typically. For some, that equilibrium may never come, and while that doesn't invalidate your experience, it certainly doesn't support the idea that "you'll calm down when you're older".
- Sohcahtoa82 4y ago> You have the life experience to know what will and won't affect you, and you've found an equilibrium of control and impact that apparently makes you happy. I think some people have too much empathy to ever reach that point. I have a few friends that literally broke out in tears when Russia began the invasion of Ukraine. They don't know a single person in Ukraine. Nothing about the war truly has an effect on their day-to-day lives. They don't even have investments that got clobbered. Yet they shed tears over innocent civilian lives being lost. These people have been on the verge of nervous breakdown ever since COVID hit. Seeing people on such an extreme end makes me feel like I might be slightly sociopathic because I read the news and just think "Well that sucks" and then move on with my day, knowing it makes no difference to me and my life.
- NotTameAntelope 4y agoWhat you're feeling is selfishness, not sociopathy, for what it's worth! I don't think a sociopath would wonder what you're wondering here, but I'm no expert.
- Sohcahtoa82 4y agoI think of selfishness and I think of taking deliberate actions to serve ones self at the detriment of others. Things like hoarding limited resources or taking a second slice of cake before everyone has had their first. I will never forgive you, John. You denied me cake.
- NotTameAntelope 4y agoSo inaction can't ever be selfish?
- kbelder 4y agoNot just selfishness... I'd describe it as a healthy amount of selfishness, and the others he's mentioned probably don't have enough.