Maybe the root cause is that your desire to "be better" or attain a goal is too strong. It sounds like you're aware of some of this already. I know that for me

Maybe the root cause is that your desire to "be better" or attain a goal is too strong. It sounds like you're aware of some of this already. I know that for me, I once tried to optimizing just about everything in my life. That led me to try to learn how to do everything better and better. At one point I realized that I was overthinking and optimizing everything, even which path I would take to walk to the bus to save some time. The stress of attaining perfection just got to be too much, so I just worked on letting go of trying to improve everything. So, maybe work on just being okay with things how they are and not striving too much to be even better. A lot of this requires being aware of your thoughts and moods so you can change in the moment. I've found meditation helps a lot there.