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The book of Proverbs, a book on Wisdom, puts it this way: "The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend." It tries to capture

The book of Proverbs, a book on Wisdom, puts it this way: "The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend." It tries to capture this paradoxical idea that harm can be to our benefit. Jesus had an interesting way of saying something I find to be similar: "Whoever tries to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will preserve it." He was talking about a woman who looked back at the destruction of a past life in a place of Sin with longing. I like playing video games and especially to compete in them so the place I first really got this idea was from there. There are people who fear playing ranked in competitive ranked video games. They fear it because they are afraid to lose rating, because they think if they lose rating they will be seen as bad. They really want to be good. So it scares them to lose rating. So they don't play ranked and because they don't play ranked they aren't tested. As a consequence of that they don't improve as they could have, but others do. So they stay about as good as they were while others improve. In sharp contrast one of the best players I know of in the world had a different mindset. He commended the practice of intentionally seeking out fights and dying. In the game he recommended this strategy, this was not the optimal strategy and he knew that - in tournaments he didn't use it, but he recommended to the learner. It had the property of maximizing the amount of learning he got per unit of time. When someone tries to seek to stay where they are and avoid judgement, what they get is judgement, because it is deserved. When someone tries to seek to be under judgement, what they get is praise, because the judgement isn't deserved. What I'm trying to get at here is sometimes our ego tries to protect us, because it wants good for us, but we need to be wiser than it is. The present, the short term, it is only here for a moment. What we are going to experience later is what really matters. So it isn't a great bother if we lose horrifically. Whatever errors someone might heap upon us: this is wonderful, a great opportunity to learn and grow.

JohnHaugeland 4y ago
Please stop lecturing me with your religion while announcing to other people what you imagine I think from single typos
- JoshCole 4y ago
  You insulted them in many ways in that post. For example, you implied they were a fool - you said they would be surprised to discover that cards in a deck have a random order. That you thought them a fool is obvious from the way you engaged with them - maybe you didn't, but it strongly comes across that you did; that you misquoted them and then explicitly laughed at your misquote is derision. It comes across as hatred and also a presumption of stupidity. You've had a pattern of not being polite; it was why many of your other posts died. It is why people like the above are saying you do not seem to do be doing well at being polite. The person you derided as attacking you personally was merely commenting on what people observe about your behavior. They don't quote you. Don't draw attention to it. Just comment on their observation of it. But since you hide from it I am willing to pull it out into the light so that it might be seen by you. To do otherwise is to be your enemy, because in pretending that you are doing nothing wrong I set you up to eventually be banned from the forum should the pattern of continual insults go unchanged. You have a tendency toward a form of rhetoric that tries to belittle the person you are talking with. If you are even the sort of person who thinks rhetoric is at all acceptable, this is sometimes an acceptable form of rhetoric, when it is not done at a particular person during discussion, but when you are talking with and to people it comes across very badly. There is a very high chance that your own writing wasn't intended to have this sort of tone - text does a terrible job of capturing tone. This doesn't have to be an attack on you - you can just leave it with your writing.
  - JohnHaugeland 4y ago
    You seem to be mass replying to everything I've said I would like to stop interacting with you, because you announced to a third party that I thought they were subhuman over a lower case letter, and won't stop telling me about your religion Please stop canvassing me now

JohnHaugeland 4y ago

Please stop lecturing me with your religion while announcing to other people what you imagine I think from single typos

JoshCole 4y ago
You insulted them in many ways in that post. For example, you implied they were a fool - you said they would be surprised to discover that cards in a deck have a random order. That you thought them a fool is obvious from the way you engaged with them - maybe you didn't, but it strongly comes across that you did; that you misquoted them and then explicitly laughed at your misquote is derision. It comes across as hatred and also a presumption of stupidity. You've had a pattern of not being polite; it was why many of your other posts died. It is why people like the above are saying you do not seem to do be doing well at being polite. The person you derided as attacking you personally was merely commenting on what people observe about your behavior. They don't quote you. Don't draw attention to it. Just comment on their observation of it. But since you hide from it I am willing to pull it out into the light so that it might be seen by you. To do otherwise is to be your enemy, because in pretending that you are doing nothing wrong I set you up to eventually be banned from the forum should the pattern of continual insults go unchanged. You have a tendency toward a form of rhetoric that tries to belittle the person you are talking with. If you are even the sort of person who thinks rhetoric is at all acceptable, this is sometimes an acceptable form of rhetoric, when it is not done at a particular person during discussion, but when you are talking with and to people it comes across very badly. There is a very high chance that your own writing wasn't intended to have this sort of tone - text does a terrible job of capturing tone. This doesn't have to be an attack on you - you can just leave it with your writing.
- JohnHaugeland 4y ago
  You seem to be mass replying to everything I've said I would like to stop interacting with you, because you announced to a third party that I thought they were subhuman over a lower case letter, and won't stop telling me about your religion Please stop canvassing me now