5 ms·

What is with the "grooming" language people are using? I had someone call me that on here last week out of the blue. Edit: Since someone offered to kill me: ht

by kodah 4y ago

What is with the "grooming" language people are using? I had someone call me that on here last week out of the blue. Edit: Since someone offered to kill me: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32173179 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32173179 I pretty clearly had nothing to do with that term.

colinmhayes 4y ago
Alt right rhetoric has labeled the lgbt and democratic elite and pedophiles and child groomers
- koheripbal 4y ago
  Epstein didn't help that image problem.
cato_the_elder 4y ago
Propaganda, the same way the "phobia" in homophobia is also propaganda.
- bigDinosaur 4y ago
  Wait until you hear about Chemists and their propaganda that molecules can feel fear of water.
  - cato_the_elder 4y ago
    I don't think that naive literalism is the best way to understand this. The term was coined by a psychologist in the 60's [1], and it is clearly designed to sound like the name of a psychological disease. [1]: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia#Etymology https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia#Etymology
strangeattractr 4y ago
It's a right wing epithet, a play on 'ok boomer'. It's proven a rhetorically effective insult for teachers/school officials who seem to be obsessed with discussing sex ed with very young children. Now it's banned on Twitter and other social media platforms.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
- bigDinosaur 4y ago
  If it's a play on 'ok boomer' one would expect it to be less offensive. 'Groomer' is categorically a terrible thing to be, often borderline criminal (if not outright) with implications of sexual abuse. Boomer, on the other hand, is more exasperation than dislike (after all, boomers are our parents/grandparents, they're hardly a group we're going to truly condemn in our personal lives).
  - Defletter 4y ago
    The right wing have a habit of making their slogans more extreme.
    - hiram112 4y ago
      Lol, it was bound to happen when even mainstream media began casually labelling a good third of the country white supremacists, racists, and the (other) dreaded N-word, simply for demanding IDs to vote or for insisting that borders should probably be enforced.
      - Defletter 4y ago
        Sure, that's /totally/ all y'all did.
    - nathanaldensr 4y ago
      Define "right wing" and I might be able to comment.
kafafakf 4y ago
- mrtesthah 4y ago
  Do you think advocating violence against people will advance your perspective, or hinder it?
  - the_only_law 4y ago
    It doesn’t matter because it’s a throwaway they’ll never use again.
carrotcarrot 4y ago
There's a bit of backstory to how this phrase evolved into a slur. It started out with rumors about trans people online who think transitioning will solve all of the problems for some people. They are often called pinkpillers. This became a pretty common stereotype on 4chan, epitomized as the "discord groomer" who teaches people how to buy dark web hormones. Then the news about gender stuff being taught in schools started. This, alongside increasing awareness of detransitioners (for example the book Irreparable Damage) gave a new narrative of teachers "grooming" students into being trans. At that point the whole thing began to snowball and with resentment toward corporatised LGBT stuff everywhere "groomer", started being thrown around as a slur for any and all LGBT, to imply that they're pedos.
- pseudalopex 4y ago
  Maybe those things happened. But the kind of people saying groomer now accused LGB of preying on children before they knew about T.
  - Defletter 4y ago
    That's because those people only begrudingly tolerated LGB people. Now they have an excuse to voice their intolerances.
- raarts 4y ago
  James Lindsay claims to be the first who used the word groomer in this way. See his blog on new discourses.com. There is more context to this. Grooming is an established tactic of pedophiles and studied by scientists. It involves breaking the bond with parents ("it's our little secret"), desensitizing children - which have a natural aversion (yuk) - towards sex acts, and in general confusing them. Many parents (not only conservatives) see the lgbtq+ materials presented to kids (even below 3rd grade) as accomplishing exactly these goals. Schools sometimes have policies of affirming gender changes and not informing parents (keeping secrets), lesson materials are seen as desensitizing towards sex acts. Children are sometimes told at a very early age they might be in the wrong body. And in school board meetings parents reading from books from the school library are silenced because the contents are 'pornographic'. Part of the outrage is of course fueled and carried too far by conservative Christians but that is not the story here.
josephcsible 4y ago
Basically, "grooming" means adults doing things targeted at children that are of a sexual nature or put sexual thoughts in their heads (e.g., inviting children to dance on stripper poles). If someone called you that here on HN, it's more likely they were accusing you of being okay with others' behavior like that rather than actually doing it yourself (although still almost certainly inappropriate for them to do so).
- the_only_law 4y ago
  “Groomer” and “pedo” are going to lose their weight the way mfs just throw it around.
danaris 4y ago
It's a direct attempt to conflate queer people of all stripes (but especially trans people, since mostly it's clear even to the people who use such disgusting tactics that gay acceptance is too high to try that crap on them, too) with pedophiles. Pedophiles have been known to "groom" victims by desensitizing them to being treated sexually, so people who want to pretend queer people don't exist (or make them not exist) have adopted that language for talking about all sorts of education about queer topics, especially for children. This is part of a long history of attempts to vilify queerness by association with pedophilia (and bestiality). It's disgusting not just because of how blatant a lie it is, but also because it makes it harder to separate out actual claims of pedophilia while campaigns like this are active—some real pedophiles can hide their activity amidst the noise.
- slt2021 4y ago
  I’m sorry, but queer child education sounds exactly Like grooming
  - nathanaldensr 4y ago
    It's not just child education where these efforts are underway. Despite the "everything on 4chan is fake news" meme, there are actually tons of Discord servers where this very activity of grooming takes place--knowingly, admittedly, and happily.

by kodah 4y ago

colinmhayes 4y ago

Alt right rhetoric has labeled the lgbt and democratic elite and pedophiles and child groomers

koheripbal 4y ago
Epstein didn't help that image problem.

cato_the_elder 4y ago

Propaganda, the same way the "phobia" in homophobia is also propaganda.

bigDinosaur 4y ago
Wait until you hear about Chemists and their propaganda that molecules can feel fear of water.
- cato_the_elder 4y ago
  I don't think that naive literalism is the best way to understand this. The term was coined by a psychologist in the 60's [1], and it is clearly designed to sound like the name of a psychological disease. [1]: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia#Etymology https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia#Etymology

strangeattractr 4y ago

It's a right wing epithet, a play on 'ok boomer'. It's proven a rhetorically effective insult for teachers/school officials who seem to be obsessed with discussing sex ed with very young children. Now it's banned on Twitter and other social media platforms.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
bigDinosaur 4y ago
If it's a play on 'ok boomer' one would expect it to be less offensive. 'Groomer' is categorically a terrible thing to be, often borderline criminal (if not outright) with implications of sexual abuse. Boomer, on the other hand, is more exasperation than dislike (after all, boomers are our parents/grandparents, they're hardly a group we're going to truly condemn in our personal lives).
- Defletter 4y ago
  The right wing have a habit of making their slogans more extreme.
  - hiram112 4y ago
    Lol, it was bound to happen when even mainstream media began casually labelling a good third of the country white supremacists, racists, and the (other) dreaded N-word, simply for demanding IDs to vote or for insisting that borders should probably be enforced.
    - Defletter 4y ago
      Sure, that's /totally/ all y'all did.
  - nathanaldensr 4y ago
    Define "right wing" and I might be able to comment.

kafafakf 4y ago

mrtesthah 4y ago
Do you think advocating violence against people will advance your perspective, or hinder it?
- the_only_law 4y ago
  It doesn’t matter because it’s a throwaway they’ll never use again.

carrotcarrot 4y ago

There's a bit of backstory to how this phrase evolved into a slur. It started out with rumors about trans people online who think transitioning will solve all of the problems for some people. They are often called pinkpillers. This became a pretty common stereotype on 4chan, epitomized as the "discord groomer" who teaches people how to buy dark web hormones. Then the news about gender stuff being taught in schools started. This, alongside increasing awareness of detransitioners (for example the book Irreparable Damage) gave a new narrative of teachers "grooming" students into being trans. At that point the whole thing began to snowball and with resentment toward corporatised LGBT stuff everywhere "groomer", started being thrown around as a slur for any and all LGBT, to imply that they're pedos.

pseudalopex 4y ago
Maybe those things happened. But the kind of people saying groomer now accused LGB of preying on children before they knew about T.
- Defletter 4y ago
  That's because those people only begrudingly tolerated LGB people. Now they have an excuse to voice their intolerances.
raarts 4y ago
James Lindsay claims to be the first who used the word groomer in this way. See his blog on new discourses.com. There is more context to this. Grooming is an established tactic of pedophiles and studied by scientists. It involves breaking the bond with parents ("it's our little secret"), desensitizing children - which have a natural aversion (yuk) - towards sex acts, and in general confusing them. Many parents (not only conservatives) see the lgbtq+ materials presented to kids (even below 3rd grade) as accomplishing exactly these goals. Schools sometimes have policies of affirming gender changes and not informing parents (keeping secrets), lesson materials are seen as desensitizing towards sex acts. Children are sometimes told at a very early age they might be in the wrong body. And in school board meetings parents reading from books from the school library are silenced because the contents are 'pornographic'. Part of the outrage is of course fueled and carried too far by conservative Christians but that is not the story here.

josephcsible 4y ago

Basically, "grooming" means adults doing things targeted at children that are of a sexual nature or put sexual thoughts in their heads (e.g., inviting children to dance on stripper poles). If someone called you that here on HN, it's more likely they were accusing you of being okay with others' behavior like that rather than actually doing it yourself (although still almost certainly inappropriate for them to do so).

the_only_law 4y ago
“Groomer” and “pedo” are going to lose their weight the way mfs just throw it around.

danaris 4y ago

It's a direct attempt to conflate queer people of all stripes (but especially trans people, since mostly it's clear even to the people who use such disgusting tactics that gay acceptance is too high to try that crap on them, too) with pedophiles. Pedophiles have been known to "groom" victims by desensitizing them to being treated sexually, so people who want to pretend queer people don't exist (or make them not exist) have adopted that language for talking about all sorts of education about queer topics, especially for children. This is part of a long history of attempts to vilify queerness by association with pedophilia (and bestiality). It's disgusting not just because of how blatant a lie it is, but also because it makes it harder to separate out actual claims of pedophilia while campaigns like this are active—some real pedophiles can hide their activity amidst the noise.

slt2021 4y ago
I’m sorry, but queer child education sounds exactly Like grooming
- nathanaldensr 4y ago
  It's not just child education where these efforts are underway. Despite the "everything on 4chan is fake news" meme, there are actually tons of Discord servers where this very activity of grooming takes place--knowingly, admittedly, and happily.