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Please take mortenjorck's advice to heart. There's very likely nothing you could have done that could have stopped this. Remember that people's emotions are no
by buss 15y ago
Please take mortenjorck's advice to heart. There's very likely nothing you could have done that could have stopped this.
Remember that people's emotions are not trivial problems that you can solve if you just spend enough time working on them. The tech culture is particularly toxic, in my opinion, for people suffering from depression. Depression is not something you can sit down and hammer out a solution to over a weekend. It grabs hold of people and doesn't let go. It takes years of professional help (from people who actually understand human emotions and psychology) and the will to get better.
Please don't think about this too hard, because you can get caught up in all of the "If only I'd have called him" thoughts.
If you feel guilty, then talk to someone who understands how to deal with these kinds of events. Even a single visit to a psychologist can do a lot to break this feedback loop of guilt. Talking to someone who knows how to listen about real feelings of guilt or depression is the best thing you can do in your position.
- skore 15y agoI've written this note in another topic on this tragic event, my apologies for the repost, but I think it's important that taboo subjects like depression are discussed. Even if this turns out to not be depression in this particular case, it certainly is extremely common amongst people in tech (sitting in front of your screen, alone, for a long time really doesn't help). It helped me a lot, personally, to reach out and see just how many people went through something similar and I hope that what I wrote might in turn help out others. So here goes the repost: --- --- --- --- I wrote about depression a while ago - http://sk.or.at/elou9l http://sk.or.at/elou9l - maybe you will find words that help you in my post. Always remember: You only fail in things that you do, not in who you are.
- robyates 15y agoHey skorat, Thank you for writing that blog post. The worse part of depression has definitely been the lack of productivity. Just saying no to doing a lot of things and doing the remaining things in small chunks seems to work the best. Thanks again for sharing!
- skore 15y agoIt's actually skore, but I see where you got confused ;-) And I obviously agree - Depression often means feeling overwhelmed by responsibility. Being better at managing it really does help.
- bodegajed 15y agoWell said, sometimes a community's harsh criticisms will be brutal to startup founders. But life is not just about making it to the top, just enjoy the journey.