4 ms·

If life were a zero-sum game and I had no regard for others, I'd be glad about others not being self-disciplined, as that would mean more room for me to succeed

If life were a zero-sum game and I had no regard for others, I'd be glad about others not being self-disciplined, as that would mean more room for me to succeed by being disciplined myself. But it's not a zero-sum game. The more of us who work hard at important things in life, the better off we all will be. So please do apply self-discipline in your life. Having no discipline is like having a car with an engine that stops running frequently and won't exceed 2000 RPM. Hard work does get easier in time, like working a muscle. And just like working out, you need to pace yourself -- approach hard work wisely and don't overdo it, even if you're enjoying it immensely. I'm so glad my mom forced me to practice the piano - I wouldn't be the musician I am today without it... and I have no regrets about working hard at front-end web development. I owe my career in large part to the many hours I spent poring over JavaScript: The Definitive Guide and writing SPA web apps while others at my workplace were still using ASP and WebForms.

jack_pp 4y ago
I don't think you've understood the article or you do not have the problems the author is having. Disciplining myself is in a way like dealing with a child. If I force my inner child to do something it will resist, shut down, burn me out. The problem is I can't be creative if I can't convince my inner child that the activity we're doing is fun so I have to frame whatever work I'm doing in a playful way otherwise my inner child will go ”boooooooriiiiing” and either make me waste time on social media or, if I catch myself, battle me for control which is very tiring
- manholio 4y ago
  I think they understand it, but maybe they believe that advice is misleading. If you are enjoying it and having fun, then you are in your comfort zone, and that means you are improving at a much lower rate than your potential. This is true for any activity, from physical fitness to academic pursuits. If you are in zone dominated by System 1 thinking and System 2 is on pause, then you are not building skill. There is nothing wrong with having fun in life for things that are not critical to you, but your core areas are developed with effort and focus. I have not met a single successful self-made person that found success without struggle and focus on their craft.
  - jack_pp 4y ago
    > This is true for any activity, from physical fitness to academic pursuits. I don't think it's true for all activities. The author is a writer. I don't think you can grind story building or maybe you can but I doubt you will get anything actually good or creative out of it. Do you know of any painters that grind painting like you can grind exercise? All this advice about discipline is good for stuff like keeping your house clean, going to the gym, sucking it up and doing your tasks that suck at big corp or any other task that sucks because it's boring or it physically hurts. It's boring because you already kind of know what needs to be done so there is no novelty to it, it doesn't need your creative input and if you are a creative person that sucks. I care more about being satisfied with my life, getting pleasure out of it. That to me is being successful. I don't need a vacation home and a yacht or private jet so why would I grind and toil for extra money?
    - dri_ft 4y ago
      > Do you know of any painters that grind painting like you can grind exercise? Do you think Leonardo got good enough to do the Sistine chapel by daubing a doodle or two when the mood took him? You absolutely can and, to get good, must grind such things. Everyone knows this is true of musicianship; painting and writing are no different. (Maybe painters don't grind their technique as much nowadays as they once did, but the decline of technique in painting over time reflects that.) As Picasso said: 'Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working'.
      - jack_pp 4y ago
        Maybe painting is not that great an example. And maybe it's not either or, maybe when you're composing music or thinking about your new book or project you need to be in a creative state and that is very different from a grinding disciplined state that requires you to actually execute on your vision. But I still hold that you can not ” grind” vision
        manholio 4y ago
        "Vision" is what happens in your brain after you grind 10,000 hours on a skill that is improvable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eW6Eagr9XA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eW6Eagr9XA At that point, you no longer have to grind, because your brain has hardwired decision paths that are automatic and produce correct results for extremely complex problems like "is this character likeable and understandable by the reader", and you can effortlessly add a few high value paragraphs to their backstory. But it's foolhardy to think that level of "flow" can be achieved out of thin air, without writing hundreds of characters before them, re-reading them, getting feedback from other readers, studying other briliant authors with a eye for their technique etc.
- kubanczyk 4y ago
  > Disciplining myself is in a way like dealing with a child. Exactly! And while the entire person appears "self-disciplined" from the outside, it does not mean that the inner conversation between the adult and the child amounts to scolding the latter. But not all (inner) children are born rebellious and maybe for some of them daily scolding does not lead to burnout. Who knows?
  - feet 4y ago
    Rebelliousness is a concept about lining up with societal expectations. Perhaps some of us do our best creative work outside of those expectations. Why should we suppress that?
  - robbiep 4y ago
    There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And sometimes the method that worked on one cat will all come undone another time. Having said that the method that makes, to overly extend this macabre analogy, things feel like fun - seems like a more sustainable and wholesome ‘skin’
- coldtea 4y ago
  >The problem is I can't be creative if I can't convince my inner child that the activity we're doing is fun so I have to frame whatever work I'm doing in a playful way otherwise my inner child will go ”boooooooriiiiing” Well, the key to life is that we also need to do things that we find "boring", and that no amount of sugar-coating would make them appear fun to us. Not just in general as a society (e.g. menial hard jobs, etc) or for maintainance (e.g. brushing our teeth or doing the dishes), but also in our everyday personal life, and for personal development and relationship with others. Doing only fun things, or only things we can convince ourselves are fun, is a recipe for failure... Plus, even fun things, we often need to do beyond the fun amount, if we want to get good at them. (For example, we might enjoy playing piano, and even practiving for a while each day, but we need to study beyond the enjoyable fun material and duration, if we want to became classical or jazz musicians).
  - zozbot234 4y ago
    > Well, the key to life is that we also need to do things that we find "boring", and that no amount of sugar-coating would make them appear fun to us. A lot of successful "discipline" is merely a combination of sugar-coating and the sheer force of habit. If something actively feels "boring" to you, this is a signal that you're now drawing on your limited willpower, which should always be a last resort.
    - manwe150 4y ago
      Ego-depletion theory has been running into some controversy in recent years, due to some failed experiments to measure it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion
  - frankzander 4y ago
    "Well, the key to life is that we also need to do things that we find "boring", and that no amount of sugar-coating would make them appear fun to us." Sounds like a mother that doesn't want to argue about clearing the dish washer. The key thing is to learn that all boring things should and can have a playful funny side and if you can't find them than you must make yourself one. So clearing the dishwasher can be playful with dancing and singing or as a game. That's why google gamified the boring crowd source activity of repairing the local search. The key is to cheat yourself a little bit.
wisty 4y ago
There's a grain of truth to it. Being too hard on yourself to the point where you're avoiding hard work because of the guilt is counter-productive. It's productive to forgive yourself for messing up, then make realistic improvements. It's unproductive to just wallow in a lack of discipline, or to spend more time beating yourself up than actually making improvements, or to try to achieve impossible goals to make up for past mistakes. I think a big problem with general advice is that a lot of people listen to the advice that isn't good for them, because that's the kind of advice they already follow (even though it's terrible for their situation). The partial solution is to think of yourself as a friend, and ask what you'd advise them - that cuts through a lot of the special pleading we make for ourselves.
otikik 4y ago
That makes sense but in order for it to work like you say people should be applying self-discipline on things that are actually “good for humanity as a whole”. It is quite challenging to know the full impact our actions. The best we can do is plan, hope, and adapt.
- TimTheTinker 4y ago
  I think the best rule for life that I know of and that can apply to anyone is "love your neighbor as yourself": treat each person you run into as you'd like to be treated yourself, and when you're making decisions that will affect others (like users of your product) treat them like you'd want to be treated in your decisions. Zooming out a bit, yes it is hard to know what's good for humanity as a whole. But I'd venture to say that the most valuable asset by far towards this end is the truth - get that at any cost.

jack_pp 4y ago

I don't think you've understood the article or you do not have the problems the author is having. Disciplining myself is in a way like dealing with a child. If I force my inner child to do something it will resist, shut down, burn me out. The problem is I can't be creative if I can't convince my inner child that the activity we're doing is fun so I have to frame whatever work I'm doing in a playful way otherwise my inner child will go ”boooooooriiiiing” and either make me waste time on social media or, if I catch myself, battle me for control which is very tiring

manholio 4y ago
I think they understand it, but maybe they believe that advice is misleading. If you are enjoying it and having fun, then you are in your comfort zone, and that means you are improving at a much lower rate than your potential. This is true for any activity, from physical fitness to academic pursuits. If you are in zone dominated by System 1 thinking and System 2 is on pause, then you are not building skill. There is nothing wrong with having fun in life for things that are not critical to you, but your core areas are developed with effort and focus. I have not met a single successful self-made person that found success without struggle and focus on their craft.
- jack_pp 4y ago
  > This is true for any activity, from physical fitness to academic pursuits. I don't think it's true for all activities. The author is a writer. I don't think you can grind story building or maybe you can but I doubt you will get anything actually good or creative out of it. Do you know of any painters that grind painting like you can grind exercise? All this advice about discipline is good for stuff like keeping your house clean, going to the gym, sucking it up and doing your tasks that suck at big corp or any other task that sucks because it's boring or it physically hurts. It's boring because you already kind of know what needs to be done so there is no novelty to it, it doesn't need your creative input and if you are a creative person that sucks. I care more about being satisfied with my life, getting pleasure out of it. That to me is being successful. I don't need a vacation home and a yacht or private jet so why would I grind and toil for extra money?
  - dri_ft 4y ago
    > Do you know of any painters that grind painting like you can grind exercise? Do you think Leonardo got good enough to do the Sistine chapel by daubing a doodle or two when the mood took him? You absolutely can and, to get good, must grind such things. Everyone knows this is true of musicianship; painting and writing are no different. (Maybe painters don't grind their technique as much nowadays as they once did, but the decline of technique in painting over time reflects that.) As Picasso said: 'Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working'.
    - jack_pp 4y ago
      Maybe painting is not that great an example. And maybe it's not either or, maybe when you're composing music or thinking about your new book or project you need to be in a creative state and that is very different from a grinding disciplined state that requires you to actually execute on your vision. But I still hold that you can not ” grind” vision
      - manholio 4y ago
        "Vision" is what happens in your brain after you grind 10,000 hours on a skill that is improvable: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eW6Eagr9XA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eW6Eagr9XA At that point, you no longer have to grind, because your brain has hardwired decision paths that are automatic and produce correct results for extremely complex problems like "is this character likeable and understandable by the reader", and you can effortlessly add a few high value paragraphs to their backstory. But it's foolhardy to think that level of "flow" can be achieved out of thin air, without writing hundreds of characters before them, re-reading them, getting feedback from other readers, studying other briliant authors with a eye for their technique etc.
kubanczyk 4y ago
> Disciplining myself is in a way like dealing with a child. Exactly! And while the entire person appears "self-disciplined" from the outside, it does not mean that the inner conversation between the adult and the child amounts to scolding the latter. But not all (inner) children are born rebellious and maybe for some of them daily scolding does not lead to burnout. Who knows?
- feet 4y ago
  Rebelliousness is a concept about lining up with societal expectations. Perhaps some of us do our best creative work outside of those expectations. Why should we suppress that?
- robbiep 4y ago
  There’s more than one way to skin a cat. And sometimes the method that worked on one cat will all come undone another time. Having said that the method that makes, to overly extend this macabre analogy, things feel like fun - seems like a more sustainable and wholesome ‘skin’
coldtea 4y ago
>The problem is I can't be creative if I can't convince my inner child that the activity we're doing is fun so I have to frame whatever work I'm doing in a playful way otherwise my inner child will go ”boooooooriiiiing” Well, the key to life is that we also need to do things that we find "boring", and that no amount of sugar-coating would make them appear fun to us. Not just in general as a society (e.g. menial hard jobs, etc) or for maintainance (e.g. brushing our teeth or doing the dishes), but also in our everyday personal life, and for personal development and relationship with others. Doing only fun things, or only things we can convince ourselves are fun, is a recipe for failure... Plus, even fun things, we often need to do beyond the fun amount, if we want to get good at them. (For example, we might enjoy playing piano, and even practiving for a while each day, but we need to study beyond the enjoyable fun material and duration, if we want to became classical or jazz musicians).
- zozbot234 4y ago
  > Well, the key to life is that we also need to do things that we find "boring", and that no amount of sugar-coating would make them appear fun to us. A lot of successful "discipline" is merely a combination of sugar-coating and the sheer force of habit. If something actively feels "boring" to you, this is a signal that you're now drawing on your limited willpower, which should always be a last resort.
  - manwe150 4y ago
    Ego-depletion theory has been running into some controversy in recent years, due to some failed experiments to measure it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_depletion
- frankzander 4y ago
  "Well, the key to life is that we also need to do things that we find "boring", and that no amount of sugar-coating would make them appear fun to us." Sounds like a mother that doesn't want to argue about clearing the dish washer. The key thing is to learn that all boring things should and can have a playful funny side and if you can't find them than you must make yourself one. So clearing the dishwasher can be playful with dancing and singing or as a game. That's why google gamified the boring crowd source activity of repairing the local search. The key is to cheat yourself a little bit.

wisty 4y ago

There's a grain of truth to it. Being too hard on yourself to the point where you're avoiding hard work because of the guilt is counter-productive. It's productive to forgive yourself for messing up, then make realistic improvements. It's unproductive to just wallow in a lack of discipline, or to spend more time beating yourself up than actually making improvements, or to try to achieve impossible goals to make up for past mistakes. I think a big problem with general advice is that a lot of people listen to the advice that isn't good for them, because that's the kind of advice they already follow (even though it's terrible for their situation). The partial solution is to think of yourself as a friend, and ask what you'd advise them - that cuts through a lot of the special pleading we make for ourselves.

otikik 4y ago

That makes sense but in order for it to work like you say people should be applying self-discipline on things that are actually “good for humanity as a whole”. It is quite challenging to know the full impact our actions. The best we can do is plan, hope, and adapt.

TimTheTinker 4y ago
I think the best rule for life that I know of and that can apply to anyone is "love your neighbor as yourself": treat each person you run into as you'd like to be treated yourself, and when you're making decisions that will affect others (like users of your product) treat them like you'd want to be treated in your decisions. Zooming out a bit, yes it is hard to know what's good for humanity as a whole. But I'd venture to say that the most valuable asset by far towards this end is the truth - get that at any cost.