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Get comfortable being uncomfortable, and you'll never be uncomfortable. Whenever someone starts to talk about their own problems and shortcomings, and then tri

by eckza 4y ago

Get comfortable being uncomfortable, and you'll never be uncomfortable. Whenever someone starts to talk about their own problems and shortcomings, and then tries to get _you_ to agree that those shortcomings aren't really _their fault_, be careful; not only are you being lied to by them, but they are also being lied to by them. And if they get _you_ to concur, then the defense against change has succeeded. The status quo remains untouched. If this lady ever starts swimming more often, it won't be because a bunch of other people agreed with her idea that discipline is the enemy; it will be because she found some.

rob_c 4y ago
> not only are you being lied to by them, but they are also being lied to by them. In a nutshell. Perfectly phrased. > if they get _you_ to concur, then the defense against change has succeeded. This is (unfortunately) a very common trap people fall into psychologically I'm convinced. And I can point to when in life I've done it, and continue to do it. It seems more related to 'feeling good' and then finding a way of (mentally) rewarding the fact that you didn't do something that you should have done. Unfortunately, in large doses and in the long run, it's not very healthy and it's very close to how people get wrapped in conspiracy theories. E.g. it's not my fault everyone is against me. Why should I try when they're just going to reset the economy. Why should I have done differently, they still would have done X, Y, Z to me... It's a comfort blanket pretending that there is some external barrier preventing you from doing things even if they are normally enjoyable.
achenet 4y ago
> If this lady ever starts swimming more often, it won't be because a bunch of other people agreed with her idea that discipline is the enemy; No, it will be because she tells herself "hey self! let's go swimming, it'll be fun", as opposed to "hey, we HAVE to go swimming". The whole point of the article is about managing one's 'inner child'/monkey mind via effective salesmanship.

by eckza 4y ago

rob_c 4y ago

> not only are you being lied to by them, but they are also being lied to by them. In a nutshell. Perfectly phrased. > if they get _you_ to concur, then the defense against change has succeeded. This is (unfortunately) a very common trap people fall into psychologically I'm convinced. And I can point to when in life I've done it, and continue to do it. It seems more related to 'feeling good' and then finding a way of (mentally) rewarding the fact that you didn't do something that you should have done. Unfortunately, in large doses and in the long run, it's not very healthy and it's very close to how people get wrapped in conspiracy theories. E.g. it's not my fault everyone is against me. Why should I try when they're just going to reset the economy. Why should I have done differently, they still would have done X, Y, Z to me... It's a comfort blanket pretending that there is some external barrier preventing you from doing things even if they are normally enjoyable.

achenet 4y ago

> If this lady ever starts swimming more often, it won't be because a bunch of other people agreed with her idea that discipline is the enemy; No, it will be because she tells herself "hey self! let's go swimming, it'll be fun", as opposed to "hey, we HAVE to go swimming". The whole point of the article is about managing one's 'inner child'/monkey mind via effective salesmanship.