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The name for these jokes is a shaggy dog story. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story It's one of my f

by luhn 4y ago

The name for these jokes is a shaggy dog story. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story It's one of my favorite categories of joke. It gets even better if you can retell it to intersecting groups of people, as the people who have heard it before are now "in on it." They can see you leading the audience on a wild goose chase and will react with amusement throughout, increasing the excitement of the fresh audience and making the punchline (or lack thereof) all the better.

jaybrendansmith 4y ago
So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends. They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that." So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and he says to the guy on the phone, "Hey, listen. I wanna learn to play guitar." Guy on the phone says "no problem. Come on down." "No, there might be one problem. I'm a horse." "Naw, it ain't a problem. We'll get some attachments, I can teach you to play. Promise." So horse turns out to be a natural. He gets GOOD. And he calls over Cow and Chicken and he's like "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO" and he jams out like Jimi Hendrix. And Cow says "Holy shit. That's awesome. I want to learn to do something like that too. What's like that?" And horse says "Bass. Learn to play bass." So Cow calls up Guitar Center, and she says "Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play bass guitar." Guy on the phone says "No problem, miss, come on down." "Eh, this might be a problem. I'm a cow." "Nah, no problem. I helped a horse recently, I can teach you to play too. Promise." So Cow learns to play the bass, and Cow is fucking amazing at it. So Cow and Horse are jamming, and Chicken gets a bit jealous. He says "Damn, I wanna learn something too. But not like that." Horse says "Well, I mean, we need a drummer around here." So Chicken calls up Guitar Center, and he says "Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play drums." Guy on the phone says "No problem, man. Come on down." "Eh, maybe a problem. I'm a chicken." "Naw. Ain't no thing. I taught a horse guitar and a cow bass. I can teach you drums." So chicken learns the drums, and he's fucking amazing. So Cow, Horse, and Chicken all start having jam sessions whenever the farmer's out. And one day they're playing, and a big record agent is driving down the road. And he hears them, and he’s like "What the fuck? That sounds amazing." So he stops at the farm, and he finds them all playing in the barn. And he says "Holy shit. You guys sound AWESOME. I wanna represent you, make this a real band, make some music. You're gonna be HUGE." So Cow and Chicken and Horse take this guy's deal, and they move to the city, they cut albums, and they're big. REAL big. Top 10 hits, platinum albums, the works. They get set for their first tour. But there's a problem, see. Horse gets a phone call, his mom's real sick. Cow and Chicken, though, they're cool as hell. They say "Listen. Go see your mom. We'll delay the first show a couple of days, so fly back home, spend some time with her, and then jump on a plane and come meet us." Horse says "Thanks, guys. you're the best," and he takes off. Couple of days later, Horse's mom is just fine. Turned out to be a real bad cold, she gets over it, and he spends another night there. The following morning, he gets a call. It's his agent. Cow and Chicken's plane went down, they died in the crash. The band is done. He's lost his best friends. And Horse, this breaks him, man. He's been through so much with them, and he feels real down in the dumps. So he takes a walk, and while he's on that walk, he just can't shake the blue, so he figures to himself "Alright, alright. One drink, just to get over it." So Horse walks into the local bar. Bartender looks at him and says "Hey. Why the long face?" ... this one can be extended for 30 minutes ...
- notahacker 4y ago
  I remember as a kid some speaker at some school event doing a story for at least 10 minutes about the travails a family suffered with a pet called a "rare ee", all to build up to the groaner of a punchline "it's a long way to tip a rare ee"
userbinator 4y ago
That term reminds me of "yak shaving" for some reason.
colanderman 4y ago
My favorite shaggy dog is from the video game West of Loathing, about a buttfor. It's written on plaques in a cave and goes into lots of detail about the buttfor, the lengths to which the authors went to find it, and suggests the possibility that it might be hidden within the same cave. Alas, like a good shaggy dog, the cave is just a dead end, there's nothing in it, the buttfor is nowhere to be found, and you have to spend minutes walking back out of the cave like a chump.
- mellavora 4y ago
  wondering who is going to be the first HN poster to ask ....
  - basilgohar 4y ago
    To ask what?
    - martopix 4y ago
      what's a buttfor?
      - tk75x 4y ago
        For sitting on.
        DonHopkins 4y ago
        I think you have it confused with a henway.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
lIl-IIIl 4y ago
Thanks for letting me know of this category of jokes. My favorite is this one that I encountered on the early Internet - too long to put here, so I'll link it: https://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Bad_Conductor https://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Bad_Conductor
- MarcellusDrum 4y ago
  It's a good joke, but the delivery isn't very good. Seeing "electrocution" and "conductor" in the same sentence immediately made me get the joke, so I skipped to the end, and I was correct. Maybe they should have given him a name and used that instead of "conductor", and only refer to him as a conductor 3-4 times throughout the story.

by luhn 4y ago

jaybrendansmith 4y ago

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends. They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that." So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and he says to the guy on the phone, "Hey, listen. I wanna learn to play guitar." Guy on the phone says "no problem. Come on down." "No, there might be one problem. I'm a horse." "Naw, it ain't a problem. We'll get some attachments, I can teach you to play. Promise." So horse turns out to be a natural. He gets GOOD. And he calls over Cow and Chicken and he's like "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO" and he jams out like Jimi Hendrix. And Cow says "Holy shit. That's awesome. I want to learn to do something like that too. What's like that?" And horse says "Bass. Learn to play bass." So Cow calls up Guitar Center, and she says "Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play bass guitar." Guy on the phone says "No problem, miss, come on down." "Eh, this might be a problem. I'm a cow." "Nah, no problem. I helped a horse recently, I can teach you to play too. Promise." So Cow learns to play the bass, and Cow is fucking amazing at it. So Cow and Horse are jamming, and Chicken gets a bit jealous. He says "Damn, I wanna learn something too. But not like that." Horse says "Well, I mean, we need a drummer around here." So Chicken calls up Guitar Center, and he says "Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play drums." Guy on the phone says "No problem, man. Come on down." "Eh, maybe a problem. I'm a chicken." "Naw. Ain't no thing. I taught a horse guitar and a cow bass. I can teach you drums." So chicken learns the drums, and he's fucking amazing. So Cow, Horse, and Chicken all start having jam sessions whenever the farmer's out. And one day they're playing, and a big record agent is driving down the road. And he hears them, and he’s like "What the fuck? That sounds amazing." So he stops at the farm, and he finds them all playing in the barn. And he says "Holy shit. You guys sound AWESOME. I wanna represent you, make this a real band, make some music. You're gonna be HUGE." So Cow and Chicken and Horse take this guy's deal, and they move to the city, they cut albums, and they're big. REAL big. Top 10 hits, platinum albums, the works. They get set for their first tour. But there's a problem, see. Horse gets a phone call, his mom's real sick. Cow and Chicken, though, they're cool as hell. They say "Listen. Go see your mom. We'll delay the first show a couple of days, so fly back home, spend some time with her, and then jump on a plane and come meet us." Horse says "Thanks, guys. you're the best," and he takes off. Couple of days later, Horse's mom is just fine. Turned out to be a real bad cold, she gets over it, and he spends another night there. The following morning, he gets a call. It's his agent. Cow and Chicken's plane went down, they died in the crash. The band is done. He's lost his best friends. And Horse, this breaks him, man. He's been through so much with them, and he feels real down in the dumps. So he takes a walk, and while he's on that walk, he just can't shake the blue, so he figures to himself "Alright, alright. One drink, just to get over it." So Horse walks into the local bar. Bartender looks at him and says "Hey. Why the long face?" ... this one can be extended for 30 minutes ...

notahacker 4y ago
I remember as a kid some speaker at some school event doing a story for at least 10 minutes about the travails a family suffered with a pet called a "rare ee", all to build up to the groaner of a punchline "it's a long way to tip a rare ee"

userbinator 4y ago

That term reminds me of "yak shaving" for some reason.

colanderman 4y ago

My favorite shaggy dog is from the video game West of Loathing, about a buttfor. It's written on plaques in a cave and goes into lots of detail about the buttfor, the lengths to which the authors went to find it, and suggests the possibility that it might be hidden within the same cave. Alas, like a good shaggy dog, the cave is just a dead end, there's nothing in it, the buttfor is nowhere to be found, and you have to spend minutes walking back out of the cave like a chump.

mellavora 4y ago
wondering who is going to be the first HN poster to ask ....
- basilgohar 4y ago
  To ask what?
  - martopix 4y ago
    what's a buttfor?
    - tk75x 4y ago
      For sitting on.
      - DonHopkins 4y ago
        I think you have it confused with a henway.
  - deleted 4y ago
    [deleted]

lIl-IIIl 4y ago

Thanks for letting me know of this category of jokes. My favorite is this one that I encountered on the early Internet - too long to put here, so I'll link it: https://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Bad_Conductor https://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Bad_Conductor

MarcellusDrum 4y ago
It's a good joke, but the delivery isn't very good. Seeing "electrocution" and "conductor" in the same sentence immediately made me get the joke, so I skipped to the end, and I was correct. Maybe they should have given him a name and used that instead of "conductor", and only refer to him as a conductor 3-4 times throughout the story.