4 ms·

We used to really enjoy a long elaborate joke setup with a let down as the punchline in college. My favorite was "A patron sees a whale sitting in a booth at t

by salmo 4y ago

We used to really enjoy a long elaborate joke setup with a let down as the punchline in college. My favorite was "A patron sees a whale sitting in a booth at the bar". You go on and on about him coming back day after day seeing the wale, describing the beverage, etc. Just improv it. The key is going as long as you can while keeping the audience, but still getting that frustration and tension from them. At the end the patron gets up the courage to talk to the whale explains to the whale that he had seen him for days, was amazed, etc. Then the whale looked at him and responded [insert best whale noise impression]. Since he passed I've seen a bunch of Norm Macdonald videos of this. He really was the best. The moth joke and others that go on for ~30 mins each on Conan are amazing. He plays them dumb but is basing them off like Russian literature tropes that go way over the audience's head. The repeated build up, let down, and then finally just a silly punch line that could have landed in 3 sentences is incredible. And his ability to play off Conan's occasional shots...

luhn 4y ago
The name for these jokes is a shaggy dog story. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story It's one of my favorite categories of joke. It gets even better if you can retell it to intersecting groups of people, as the people who have heard it before are now "in on it." They can see you leading the audience on a wild goose chase and will react with amusement throughout, increasing the excitement of the fresh audience and making the punchline (or lack thereof) all the better.
- jaybrendansmith 4y ago
  So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends. They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that." So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and he says to the guy on the phone, "Hey, listen. I wanna learn to play guitar." Guy on the phone says "no problem. Come on down." "No, there might be one problem. I'm a horse." "Naw, it ain't a problem. We'll get some attachments, I can teach you to play. Promise." So horse turns out to be a natural. He gets GOOD. And he calls over Cow and Chicken and he's like "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO" and he jams out like Jimi Hendrix. And Cow says "Holy shit. That's awesome. I want to learn to do something like that too. What's like that?" And horse says "Bass. Learn to play bass." So Cow calls up Guitar Center, and she says "Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play bass guitar." Guy on the phone says "No problem, miss, come on down." "Eh, this might be a problem. I'm a cow." "Nah, no problem. I helped a horse recently, I can teach you to play too. Promise." So Cow learns to play the bass, and Cow is fucking amazing at it. So Cow and Horse are jamming, and Chicken gets a bit jealous. He says "Damn, I wanna learn something too. But not like that." Horse says "Well, I mean, we need a drummer around here." So Chicken calls up Guitar Center, and he says "Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play drums." Guy on the phone says "No problem, man. Come on down." "Eh, maybe a problem. I'm a chicken." "Naw. Ain't no thing. I taught a horse guitar and a cow bass. I can teach you drums." So chicken learns the drums, and he's fucking amazing. So Cow, Horse, and Chicken all start having jam sessions whenever the farmer's out. And one day they're playing, and a big record agent is driving down the road. And he hears them, and he’s like "What the fuck? That sounds amazing." So he stops at the farm, and he finds them all playing in the barn. And he says "Holy shit. You guys sound AWESOME. I wanna represent you, make this a real band, make some music. You're gonna be HUGE." So Cow and Chicken and Horse take this guy's deal, and they move to the city, they cut albums, and they're big. REAL big. Top 10 hits, platinum albums, the works. They get set for their first tour. But there's a problem, see. Horse gets a phone call, his mom's real sick. Cow and Chicken, though, they're cool as hell. They say "Listen. Go see your mom. We'll delay the first show a couple of days, so fly back home, spend some time with her, and then jump on a plane and come meet us." Horse says "Thanks, guys. you're the best," and he takes off. Couple of days later, Horse's mom is just fine. Turned out to be a real bad cold, she gets over it, and he spends another night there. The following morning, he gets a call. It's his agent. Cow and Chicken's plane went down, they died in the crash. The band is done. He's lost his best friends. And Horse, this breaks him, man. He's been through so much with them, and he feels real down in the dumps. So he takes a walk, and while he's on that walk, he just can't shake the blue, so he figures to himself "Alright, alright. One drink, just to get over it." So Horse walks into the local bar. Bartender looks at him and says "Hey. Why the long face?" ... this one can be extended for 30 minutes ...
  - notahacker 4y ago
    I remember as a kid some speaker at some school event doing a story for at least 10 minutes about the travails a family suffered with a pet called a "rare ee", all to build up to the groaner of a punchline "it's a long way to tip a rare ee"
- userbinator 4y ago
  That term reminds me of "yak shaving" for some reason.
- colanderman 4y ago
  My favorite shaggy dog is from the video game West of Loathing, about a buttfor. It's written on plaques in a cave and goes into lots of detail about the buttfor, the lengths to which the authors went to find it, and suggests the possibility that it might be hidden within the same cave. Alas, like a good shaggy dog, the cave is just a dead end, there's nothing in it, the buttfor is nowhere to be found, and you have to spend minutes walking back out of the cave like a chump.
  - mellavora 4y ago
    wondering who is going to be the first HN poster to ask ....
    - basilgohar 4y ago
      To ask what?
      - martopix 4y ago
        what's a buttfor?
        tk75x 4y ago
        For sitting on.
        DonHopkins 4y ago
        I think you have it confused with a henway.
      - deleted 4y ago
        [deleted]
- lIl-IIIl 4y ago
  Thanks for letting me know of this category of jokes. My favorite is this one that I encountered on the early Internet - too long to put here, so I'll link it: https://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Bad_Conductor https://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Bad_Conductor
  - MarcellusDrum 4y ago
    It's a good joke, but the delivery isn't very good. Seeing "electrocution" and "conductor" in the same sentence immediately made me get the joke, so I skipped to the end, and I was correct. Maybe they should have given him a name and used that instead of "conductor", and only refer to him as a conductor 3-4 times throughout the story.
greggyb 4y ago
I used to work at a summer camp. Campers would sign up for various activities, the longest time slot for which was one hour each day, commonly used for extended crafts or sometimes a movie. One week, a friend and I ran the activity “Friend and greggyb tell a joke.” We strung together a half dozen of our favorite shaggy dog stories, interweaving them and putting off the combined punch line until the last ten minutes of the third day. We handed off to one another every 15-20 minutes. At the end, the 30 or so campers agreed that they could not be angry with us, because we did exactly what the activity said, we told _A_ joke.
ragazzina 4y ago
I also like the short version of the whale one: A whale sitting at the bar says: [long whale noise]. The barman replies: "go home, Frank, you're drunk". A similar one is: A monkey eats some soup at a restaurant, and says: [monkey noise]. The waiter replies: "be careful, sir, it's very hot".
dghf 4y ago
> My favorite was "A patron sees a whale sitting in a booth at the bar". You go on and on about him coming back day after day seeing the wale, describing the beverage, etc. Just improv it. The key is going as long as you can while keeping the audience, but still getting that frustration and tension from them. > At the end the patron gets up the courage to talk to the whale explains to the whale that he had seen him for days, was amazed, etc. Then the whale looked at him and responded [insert best whale noise impression]. This made me laugh more than is reasonable.

by salmo 4y ago

luhn 4y ago

The name for these jokes is a shaggy dog story. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_dog_story It's one of my favorite categories of joke. It gets even better if you can retell it to intersecting groups of people, as the people who have heard it before are now "in on it." They can see you leading the audience on a wild goose chase and will react with amusement throughout, increasing the excitement of the fresh audience and making the punchline (or lack thereof) all the better.

jaybrendansmith 4y ago
So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends. They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that." So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and he says to the guy on the phone, "Hey, listen. I wanna learn to play guitar." Guy on the phone says "no problem. Come on down." "No, there might be one problem. I'm a horse." "Naw, it ain't a problem. We'll get some attachments, I can teach you to play. Promise." So horse turns out to be a natural. He gets GOOD. And he calls over Cow and Chicken and he's like "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO" and he jams out like Jimi Hendrix. And Cow says "Holy shit. That's awesome. I want to learn to do something like that too. What's like that?" And horse says "Bass. Learn to play bass." So Cow calls up Guitar Center, and she says "Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play bass guitar." Guy on the phone says "No problem, miss, come on down." "Eh, this might be a problem. I'm a cow." "Nah, no problem. I helped a horse recently, I can teach you to play too. Promise." So Cow learns to play the bass, and Cow is fucking amazing at it. So Cow and Horse are jamming, and Chicken gets a bit jealous. He says "Damn, I wanna learn something too. But not like that." Horse says "Well, I mean, we need a drummer around here." So Chicken calls up Guitar Center, and he says "Hey, listen, I wanna learn to play drums." Guy on the phone says "No problem, man. Come on down." "Eh, maybe a problem. I'm a chicken." "Naw. Ain't no thing. I taught a horse guitar and a cow bass. I can teach you drums." So chicken learns the drums, and he's fucking amazing. So Cow, Horse, and Chicken all start having jam sessions whenever the farmer's out. And one day they're playing, and a big record agent is driving down the road. And he hears them, and he’s like "What the fuck? That sounds amazing." So he stops at the farm, and he finds them all playing in the barn. And he says "Holy shit. You guys sound AWESOME. I wanna represent you, make this a real band, make some music. You're gonna be HUGE." So Cow and Chicken and Horse take this guy's deal, and they move to the city, they cut albums, and they're big. REAL big. Top 10 hits, platinum albums, the works. They get set for their first tour. But there's a problem, see. Horse gets a phone call, his mom's real sick. Cow and Chicken, though, they're cool as hell. They say "Listen. Go see your mom. We'll delay the first show a couple of days, so fly back home, spend some time with her, and then jump on a plane and come meet us." Horse says "Thanks, guys. you're the best," and he takes off. Couple of days later, Horse's mom is just fine. Turned out to be a real bad cold, she gets over it, and he spends another night there. The following morning, he gets a call. It's his agent. Cow and Chicken's plane went down, they died in the crash. The band is done. He's lost his best friends. And Horse, this breaks him, man. He's been through so much with them, and he feels real down in the dumps. So he takes a walk, and while he's on that walk, he just can't shake the blue, so he figures to himself "Alright, alright. One drink, just to get over it." So Horse walks into the local bar. Bartender looks at him and says "Hey. Why the long face?" ... this one can be extended for 30 minutes ...
- notahacker 4y ago
  I remember as a kid some speaker at some school event doing a story for at least 10 minutes about the travails a family suffered with a pet called a "rare ee", all to build up to the groaner of a punchline "it's a long way to tip a rare ee"
userbinator 4y ago
That term reminds me of "yak shaving" for some reason.
colanderman 4y ago
My favorite shaggy dog is from the video game West of Loathing, about a buttfor. It's written on plaques in a cave and goes into lots of detail about the buttfor, the lengths to which the authors went to find it, and suggests the possibility that it might be hidden within the same cave. Alas, like a good shaggy dog, the cave is just a dead end, there's nothing in it, the buttfor is nowhere to be found, and you have to spend minutes walking back out of the cave like a chump.
- mellavora 4y ago
  wondering who is going to be the first HN poster to ask ....
  - basilgohar 4y ago
    To ask what?
    - martopix 4y ago
      what's a buttfor?
      - tk75x 4y ago
        For sitting on.
        DonHopkins 4y ago
        I think you have it confused with a henway.
    - deleted 4y ago
      [deleted]
lIl-IIIl 4y ago
Thanks for letting me know of this category of jokes. My favorite is this one that I encountered on the early Internet - too long to put here, so I'll link it: https://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Bad_Conductor https://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/Bad_Conductor
- MarcellusDrum 4y ago
  It's a good joke, but the delivery isn't very good. Seeing "electrocution" and "conductor" in the same sentence immediately made me get the joke, so I skipped to the end, and I was correct. Maybe they should have given him a name and used that instead of "conductor", and only refer to him as a conductor 3-4 times throughout the story.

greggyb 4y ago

I used to work at a summer camp. Campers would sign up for various activities, the longest time slot for which was one hour each day, commonly used for extended crafts or sometimes a movie. One week, a friend and I ran the activity “Friend and greggyb tell a joke.” We strung together a half dozen of our favorite shaggy dog stories, interweaving them and putting off the combined punch line until the last ten minutes of the third day. We handed off to one another every 15-20 minutes. At the end, the 30 or so campers agreed that they could not be angry with us, because we did exactly what the activity said, we told _A_ joke.

ragazzina 4y ago

I also like the short version of the whale one: A whale sitting at the bar says: [long whale noise]. The barman replies: "go home, Frank, you're drunk". A similar one is: A monkey eats some soup at a restaurant, and says: [monkey noise]. The waiter replies: "be careful, sir, it's very hot".

dghf 4y ago

> My favorite was "A patron sees a whale sitting in a booth at the bar". You go on and on about him coming back day after day seeing the wale, describing the beverage, etc. Just improv it. The key is going as long as you can while keeping the audience, but still getting that frustration and tension from them. > At the end the patron gets up the courage to talk to the whale explains to the whale that he had seen him for days, was amazed, etc. Then the whale looked at him and responded [insert best whale noise impression]. This made me laugh more than is reasonable.