4 ms·

I have been poor in a poor country and now I’m not. I make mid-high six figures and just bought a house. I have five years of expenses saved up and could extend

I have been poor in a poor country and now I’m not. I make mid-high six figures and just bought a house. I have five years of expenses saved up and could extend it to ten with the right moves. Still, sleeping at night is hard, imagining that everything could collapse at any moment - I don’t know how I would explain to my kid that “we don’t have money anymore”. This feeling permeates every interaction I have at work - will I fuck up this email to the VP, then get fired, then become poor again? Makes for a very unhealthy relationship with work. Sometimes I wish I won the lottery - not to buy boats and cars and houses, but simply to stop being worried every damn minute of my life.

thatfrenchguy 4y ago
> but simply to stop being worried every damn minute of my life. You would be worried nonetheless, because your brain will latch on to the next anxiety. Just like you thought that having 5 years of expenses would alleviate your anxiety. What you need is a good therapist to work on your anxiety issues.
- WXLCKNO 4y ago
  I can confirm. Grew up poor, now worth mid 7 figures and still have money anxiety despite barely spending money. Therapy sounds like a good idea lol.
  - refurb 4y ago
    Not that it’s a random sample of the wealthy, but go look at r/FATFire if you want to see how unhappy the ultra-wealthy can be.
_8j50 4y ago
Just to be clear, mid-high six figures is 500-700k/yr
- danrocks 4y ago
  Yes.
  - tomuli38 4y ago
mikodin 4y ago
As you likely know, you are at the point where more money won't change these feelings. Therapy or meditation, likely both may help induce a shift. As the grip loosens you will find many things begin to change. "Sleeping well at night", is likely the single most important thing you can focus on. If you choose to focus on that, it likely will permeate many aspects of your life.. You may find a deeper and more authentic experience and through that you may find that you actually have won the lottery. You are safe. You have 5 years of expenses - I guarantee you that you could figure out solutions to just about anything that comes your way in 5 years. You're no longer trying to survive. It's now time to learn how to live.
yusefnapora 4y ago
It's funny how your brain is able to convince you that the immediate consequence of "get fired" is "become poor," even though you have a five year buffer in which to regroup. I'm afraid there's simply no amount of money that can possibly remove the feeling that everything could collapse at any moment. If your sense of security is predicated on continuing to possess money, you will always be vulnerable to the fear of losing it, no matter how much you accrue. If you won the lottery tomorrow, what makes you think you wouldn't worry about losing that money too?

thatfrenchguy 4y ago

> but simply to stop being worried every damn minute of my life. You would be worried nonetheless, because your brain will latch on to the next anxiety. Just like you thought that having 5 years of expenses would alleviate your anxiety. What you need is a good therapist to work on your anxiety issues.

WXLCKNO 4y ago
I can confirm. Grew up poor, now worth mid 7 figures and still have money anxiety despite barely spending money. Therapy sounds like a good idea lol.
- refurb 4y ago
  Not that it’s a random sample of the wealthy, but go look at r/FATFire if you want to see how unhappy the ultra-wealthy can be.

_8j50 4y ago

Just to be clear, mid-high six figures is 500-700k/yr

danrocks 4y ago
Yes.
- tomuli38 4y ago

mikodin 4y ago

As you likely know, you are at the point where more money won't change these feelings. Therapy or meditation, likely both may help induce a shift. As the grip loosens you will find many things begin to change. "Sleeping well at night", is likely the single most important thing you can focus on. If you choose to focus on that, it likely will permeate many aspects of your life.. You may find a deeper and more authentic experience and through that you may find that you actually have won the lottery. You are safe. You have 5 years of expenses - I guarantee you that you could figure out solutions to just about anything that comes your way in 5 years. You're no longer trying to survive. It's now time to learn how to live.

yusefnapora 4y ago

It's funny how your brain is able to convince you that the immediate consequence of "get fired" is "become poor," even though you have a five year buffer in which to regroup. I'm afraid there's simply no amount of money that can possibly remove the feeling that everything could collapse at any moment. If your sense of security is predicated on continuing to possess money, you will always be vulnerable to the fear of losing it, no matter how much you accrue. If you won the lottery tomorrow, what makes you think you wouldn't worry about losing that money too?