4 ms·

This whole comment section is pretty frustrating. I don't even live in America and I'm scared. An enormous wave of hate is starting to show recently - even in t

This whole comment section is pretty frustrating. I don't even live in America and I'm scared. An enormous wave of hate is starting to show recently - even in the comparatively few places where queer people are relatively ok. I still don't get to marry in my country - only civil unions, and even that was hard fought. No adoption, no real protection from hate crime. Elections are happening soon, and the projection of who's likely to win is... bleak, to say the least. And I'm the lucky one: I'm a cis gay man, and out of the whole LGBTQ+ community, I'm in one of the least bad spots to be in. My trans brothers and sisters have it way, way worse - especially when surgery and/or hormones are not nearly as easy to come by as these people on the internet would like to think. Me and my boyfriend are careful about any public display of affection, out of fear. I have trans and non-binary friends who have to either hide who they are, or fear stepping outside their homes - or even their own bedrooms. And one day - if lawmakers would be so kind as to let me - I would love to raise one or more children. To be a father. But as it is, even if I would... this is not the world I would want to raise a child in. It's all fucked up.

peckrob 4y ago
> This whole comment section is pretty frustrating. I agree. The amount of misinformation and/or active disinformation in this comment section is horrifying and disheartening. > My trans brothers and sisters have it way, way worse - especially when surgery and/or hormones are not nearly as easy to come by as these people on the internet would like to think. It really is wild to me how many people think, like, school nurses are handing out hormone medication like candy or something, or you can just go get them OTC at the corner drug store. My kid's school nurse won't even give her Tylenol without calling me, these people really think they're secretly sending kids home with hormone medication? It is not and easy or fast process. Often, in the case of gender questioning youth, puberty blockers are used to buy time for them while they assess their feelings and the process plays out, because they are entirely reversible - just stop taking them. The whole initial transition process can often take a year or more from first appointment to hormone therapy starting and there are lots of gatekeepers along the way to safeguard you. In most places if you are under 18 you have to be under the care of an LGBT-affirming physician (which can be very hard to find, even in cities, and often have months of wait time), have had at least some therapy under your belt, and an official gender dysphoria diagnosis to get hormone treatment started. Surgical approaches are very rarely considered for young people. Like I am sure there have been some, I can't fully rule it out, but I run in LGBT+ circles a lot and have for decades, and I personally have not met a single person who had any kind of gender-affirming surgery done before 18. Most have them done in their 20s or 30s if they can afford it. The wait times can stretch into years, and the surgeries themselves are often considered cosmetic procedures and are often not covered the same as a medically-required surgery. Even among adult trans people, surgeries are often considered a far off goal that many never be reached, and quite a few will find that they don't want or need it once other transitioning processes have happened and they no longer feel crippling levels of dysphoria. And all of that assumes you have a supportive parent or guarding and, as one stroll through various transgender hangouts on the web will tell you, that is not as common as one would hope. All it takes is one parent to say "no" and you're not doing anything until you're an adult. Once you are 18 things are a bit more open and you have more options to speed the process up, but it is hard being a transgender youth. There are a lot of misconceptions in these comments about what being transgender is, what the process for getting HRT is, and all of the various steps needed to reach each person's individual goals. And all of this is easily researchable using Google in 10 minutes, it just takes an open mind and a willingness to see others' viewpoints. It's extremely frustrating.
- dillondoyle 4y ago
  The disinformation has a purpose sadly. And it's clearly working. I'm not sure how to fix it though. More doctors speaking out? seeing some parents & their young trans kids feels helps. The fact that the word 'humanizing' is used just shows how gross this is; that these kids and queer people are somehow not human already. Just as a thought experiment type rabbit hole, I've spent some time thinking about the net benefit of our increasing representation and being more integrated into society at large. It feels that on the whole the #s look more accepting. Gay marriage has majority support (so does abortion..) But seeing trans people and queer people on TV has triggered an insane backlash. See it on HN threads all the time. "netflix is all propaganda." When the representation numbers are just barely catching up the real general population (of which is probably still low given closeting). Our existence isn't propaganda. It's not indoctrination to live our truth. But a lot of people feel threatened and backed into a corner which is dangerous. And some politicians pick up on this and whip it up into an very dangerous frenzy of disinformation and hate.
dillondoyle 4y ago
The adoption thing is so heartbreaking. I'm sorry ;( It's often the ones restricting adoptions that also want more of them. Why stop someone from giving love. Hate is just too strong. In the US adoption is heavily tied up in religious institutions. States will pay / contract it out to church affiliated orgs. And it's plain as day that the R appointed judges & justices up and down the bench are wanting to put 'religious freedom' over common curtesy, dignity, and human rights. Another one pissing me off: The guy who helped write the Texas abortion bounty bill is suing to get rid of rules that insurance has to provide birth control and prep. Plenty of scholars think they will win. Insane that their extreme religious beliefs get to override our health and safety. Even if we can get an angry political movement we can't quickly fix lifetime appointments on courts from local level all the way up to scotus.

peckrob 4y ago

> This whole comment section is pretty frustrating. I agree. The amount of misinformation and/or active disinformation in this comment section is horrifying and disheartening. > My trans brothers and sisters have it way, way worse - especially when surgery and/or hormones are not nearly as easy to come by as these people on the internet would like to think. It really is wild to me how many people think, like, school nurses are handing out hormone medication like candy or something, or you can just go get them OTC at the corner drug store. My kid's school nurse won't even give her Tylenol without calling me, these people really think they're secretly sending kids home with hormone medication? It is not and easy or fast process. Often, in the case of gender questioning youth, puberty blockers are used to buy time for them while they assess their feelings and the process plays out, because they are entirely reversible - just stop taking them. The whole initial transition process can often take a year or more from first appointment to hormone therapy starting and there are lots of gatekeepers along the way to safeguard you. In most places if you are under 18 you have to be under the care of an LGBT-affirming physician (which can be very hard to find, even in cities, and often have months of wait time), have had at least some therapy under your belt, and an official gender dysphoria diagnosis to get hormone treatment started. Surgical approaches are very rarely considered for young people. Like I am sure there have been some, I can't fully rule it out, but I run in LGBT+ circles a lot and have for decades, and I personally have not met a single person who had any kind of gender-affirming surgery done before 18. Most have them done in their 20s or 30s if they can afford it. The wait times can stretch into years, and the surgeries themselves are often considered cosmetic procedures and are often not covered the same as a medically-required surgery. Even among adult trans people, surgeries are often considered a far off goal that many never be reached, and quite a few will find that they don't want or need it once other transitioning processes have happened and they no longer feel crippling levels of dysphoria. And all of that assumes you have a supportive parent or guarding and, as one stroll through various transgender hangouts on the web will tell you, that is not as common as one would hope. All it takes is one parent to say "no" and you're not doing anything until you're an adult. Once you are 18 things are a bit more open and you have more options to speed the process up, but it is hard being a transgender youth. There are a lot of misconceptions in these comments about what being transgender is, what the process for getting HRT is, and all of the various steps needed to reach each person's individual goals. And all of this is easily researchable using Google in 10 minutes, it just takes an open mind and a willingness to see others' viewpoints. It's extremely frustrating.

dillondoyle 4y ago
The disinformation has a purpose sadly. And it's clearly working. I'm not sure how to fix it though. More doctors speaking out? seeing some parents & their young trans kids feels helps. The fact that the word 'humanizing' is used just shows how gross this is; that these kids and queer people are somehow not human already. Just as a thought experiment type rabbit hole, I've spent some time thinking about the net benefit of our increasing representation and being more integrated into society at large. It feels that on the whole the #s look more accepting. Gay marriage has majority support (so does abortion..) But seeing trans people and queer people on TV has triggered an insane backlash. See it on HN threads all the time. "netflix is all propaganda." When the representation numbers are just barely catching up the real general population (of which is probably still low given closeting). Our existence isn't propaganda. It's not indoctrination to live our truth. But a lot of people feel threatened and backed into a corner which is dangerous. And some politicians pick up on this and whip it up into an very dangerous frenzy of disinformation and hate.

dillondoyle 4y ago

The adoption thing is so heartbreaking. I'm sorry ;( It's often the ones restricting adoptions that also want more of them. Why stop someone from giving love. Hate is just too strong. In the US adoption is heavily tied up in religious institutions. States will pay / contract it out to church affiliated orgs. And it's plain as day that the R appointed judges & justices up and down the bench are wanting to put 'religious freedom' over common curtesy, dignity, and human rights. Another one pissing me off: The guy who helped write the Texas abortion bounty bill is suing to get rid of rules that insurance has to provide birth control and prep. Plenty of scholars think they will win. Insane that their extreme religious beliefs get to override our health and safety. Even if we can get an angry political movement we can't quickly fix lifetime appointments on courts from local level all the way up to scotus.