You are under no obligation to be who you were 15 minutes ago. I assume "startup guy" was a big part of your identity, and now that is changing, and that's pain

You are under no obligation to be who you were 15 minutes ago. I assume "startup guy" was a big part of your identity, and now that is changing, and that's painful. Don't spend a lot of energy trying to reconcile your new identity with your old one; it's wasted energy doing work no one else cares about. Your new identity doesn't have to be "failed startup guy." It can be something completely different. Maybe it is "I work my day job to make money but my passion is urban windsurfing" guy. We'll see.