If you feel that way, I think it's probably helpful to look at it from an opportunistic-creative perspective. And maybe not the kind of opportunism most people

If you feel that way, I think it's probably helpful to look at it from an opportunistic-creative perspective. And maybe not the kind of opportunism most people would think of in this situation. The ethics is based on a covert contract wherein one wishes to test one's ability to live a "higher" interpretation of a relationship standard between two parties. So effectively you end up going, "ok, here's what they say they want, and what they aren't OK with. I'll respect that boundary." There's a little bit of a depth and details issue there (who exactly wants what, what are they like, are they respectable, you treat them as an individual through they are party, but do they care about you as an individual, etc.). Still, I think if you still feel uncomfortable with it, I wouldn't play around fighting your psychology unless you can give yourself lots of time (years) to dive in and explore. For now I'd instead find and rank your favorite alternatives. Make it a research+values problem. For example rank foreign films by country, films available through other sources, YouTube channels you like, and so on. We are in a golden age for cinema of all kinds so there is a huge upside to carving the path you want in a way that rewards creativity. You are almost guaranteed to learn about lots of new and interesting things you like. And sticking with your covert-subjective ethics will help you retain your likely-craved feeling of fidelity and integrity.