9 ms·

Horrible. This news is so tragic I really can't focus on anything else now. Which is probably the way it should be. Our community stresses the importance of ac

by edw519 15y ago

Horrible. This news is so tragic I really can't focus on anything else now. Which is probably the way it should be. Our community stresses the importance of achievement, success, and technology so much that it's easy to forget what's really most important: each other. Sometimes it takes terrible news like this to jerk us back to that reality. I never knew Ilya, but if any of his friends of family visits this forum, please know that many thoughts and prayers are with you. I have no idea what was behind this, so just a few (possibly related) thoughts: - Let's never forget that everything we do is for other people. They outrank all the ones and zeros. Go hug someone important to you. - If you ever believe the possibility of something like happening is > .00001, do something, anything. If you don't know what to do, contact me (see my profile) and I'll help in any way I can. Nothing can be more important. - This was the ultimate failure. I'm so sorry to hear this and hope that Ilya's family and friends somehow find peace.

baby 15y ago
Nothing to do with prayers. RIP Ilya.
- rdtsc 15y ago
  Please, this is not the time.
  - deleted 15y ago
    [deleted]
robg 15y ago
It's not just our community. There are twice as many suicides as homicides in the U.S.[1] Yet, every nightly newscast is sure to cover the murders. How many talk about the suicides? Worse, suicide is the leading cause of death among college students [2]. It's an epidemic that no one talks about. We've already lost two freshman at MIT this year. [1] http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/09/01/suicide-vs-homicide-by-state-per-100000/ http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/09/01/suicide-vs-homicide-b... [2] http://www2.dailyprogress.com/news/2011/nov/07/uva-study-suicide-leading-cause-death-us-college-s-ar-1442361/ http://www2.dailyprogress.com/news/2011/nov/07/uva-study-sui...
- thomasgerbe 15y ago
  Well at least suicide is a legitimate personal choice. Murder is not.
  - chernevik 15y ago
    I'm not sure anyone that depressed is entirely capable of "choice". And this is probably not the best moment for ethical theory.
  - ryan-allen 15y ago
    Just like how Depression is a choice and OCD is a choice and Schizophrenia is a choice. Your views on mental health are a bit last century.
    - LancerSykera 15y ago
      Suicide isn't a mental illness like depression and OCD and Schizophrenia. While I do agree that this isn't the best time for "ethical theory," I also agree with thomasgerbe in that suicide is a fundamental human right. If one has no desire to continue living, who are you to force them to?
      - gujk 15y ago
        The complication is that most life choices are to some extent reversible in case of mistake. Suicide is not, and therefore is subject to more delicate considetation. Also, for anyone not a hermit, suicide affects other people who may have moral or legal claims of dependency.
      - hellrich 15y ago
        Your ability to make this decision would be impaired if you had a mental illness like depression.
      - ryan-allen 15y ago
        Of course suicide isn't a mental illness. How about you have a look at some facts from the US NIMH [1], how about I summarise some poignant facts: "Research shows that risk factors for suicide include: depression and other mental disorders, or a substance-abuse disorder (often in combination with other mental disorders). More than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have these risk factors." So, you're happy to condemn 90% of people who commit suicide to go and 'make that choice' because 'it's their right'? I don't disagree that it's anyone's so-called 'right' to kill themselves, but when 90% of individuals who do so are suffering from mental illness or substance abuse disorders, I think it's far to broad and naive (not to mention downright heartless) to fob it off as a mere 'choice'. Have you known anyone personally who's comitted suicide? I bet that if someone close to you, whom was having a hard time (by stretch of the mind I wouldn't say it's too difficult to imagine in this economy, the loss of a job and a home could be a sufficient trigger for a Major Depressive Episode), decided to kill themselves over a temporary hardship. I doubt you'd merely say "well, it was their choice". I bet you'd rethink your statement and your position. You my friend are very wrong. [1] http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-in-the-us-statistics-and-prevention/index.shtml http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-in-the-u...
chunkyslink 15y ago
>> If you ever believe the possibility of something like happening is > .00001, do something, anything. If you don't know what to do, contact me (see my profile) and I'll help in any way I can. Its a nice thought, but people in this position often don't want help. My best Friend was doing a PHD in a Biochemistry related field at University College London back in 2003. He was an outgoing person, had a hot girlfriend and lots of friends. He had a what seemed like a great life and an even better future. One night we went out together and had a great night. We went our separate ways about 4am and I we arranged to meet at 5pm the next day. At 2pm the next afternoon I got a call from his flat mate saying that he had committed suicide. He had access to all kinds of chemicals and substances at the as part of his PHD and he had been taking little bits for months and months and making a potent cocktail of poison. He drank the poison and died instantly. There was no note, no explanation and no reason anyone knew. I was the last person (friend) to see him alive. I guess I'm saying - even balanced, successful people have their reasons and you will never know or be told what they are.
- dchuk 15y ago
  Unfortunately, an outgoing personality is a great way to protect yourself from people asking you the very painful question of "what's wrong"...I know now, after wrestling with depression for years, that sometimes it's harder to face your depression and explain your pain to others than it is to simply be depressed in the first place. What better way to defend yourself than by acting exactly opposite of how you really are?
  - billpatrianakos 15y ago
    I'm sorry man, but that sounds awful. I'm a depression alumni with you. I did it all for a good 7 years - hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, then medication, then "fuck medication, I'm fine!" and "fuck medication! It doesn't work!", then heavy drug use and addiction, and counseling throughout. The feeling can be beyond words and the energy needed to talk about it seems beyond us but I've gone the pretend route where you put on a brave face and act like a different person and it's just not healthy. It leads to you being even more depressed and no one having a clue which is so dangerous. I don't have the answers to getting over it (which I have done, personally) but I do know that acting like a different person isn't a good way to go. I hope you're better these days, feel free to get in touch if not. I'd be happy to talk about whatever.
hobohazard 15y ago
It didn't really hit me until I stopped by his place. The only sign that something had happened was a paper tapped to a door saying "Party Cancelled". It's a really chocking feeling. I think I went there to know if it was true...to know what happened. As his death becomes more apparent, I don't care what happened. It's a huge loss. Ilya will be missed.
NZ_Matt 15y ago
Very tragic. It's the strong mind people that are some of the most vulnerable. RIP Ilya
urbanjunkie 15y ago
You seem to be implying that he committed suicide, and that you could have done something about it. Do you have any information about this? And why would you have been helpful in this situation?

by edw519 15y ago

baby 15y ago

Nothing to do with prayers. RIP Ilya.

rdtsc 15y ago
Please, this is not the time.
- deleted 15y ago
  [deleted]

robg 15y ago

It's not just our community. There are twice as many suicides as homicides in the U.S.[1] Yet, every nightly newscast is sure to cover the murders. How many talk about the suicides? Worse, suicide is the leading cause of death among college students [2]. It's an epidemic that no one talks about. We've already lost two freshman at MIT this year. [1] http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/09/01/suicide-vs-homicide-by-state-per-100000/ http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/09/01/suicide-vs-homicide-b... [2] http://www2.dailyprogress.com/news/2011/nov/07/uva-study-suicide-leading-cause-death-us-college-s-ar-1442361/ http://www2.dailyprogress.com/news/2011/nov/07/uva-study-sui...

thomasgerbe 15y ago
Well at least suicide is a legitimate personal choice. Murder is not.
- chernevik 15y ago
  I'm not sure anyone that depressed is entirely capable of "choice". And this is probably not the best moment for ethical theory.
- ryan-allen 15y ago
  Just like how Depression is a choice and OCD is a choice and Schizophrenia is a choice. Your views on mental health are a bit last century.
  - LancerSykera 15y ago
    Suicide isn't a mental illness like depression and OCD and Schizophrenia. While I do agree that this isn't the best time for "ethical theory," I also agree with thomasgerbe in that suicide is a fundamental human right. If one has no desire to continue living, who are you to force them to?
    - gujk 15y ago
      The complication is that most life choices are to some extent reversible in case of mistake. Suicide is not, and therefore is subject to more delicate considetation. Also, for anyone not a hermit, suicide affects other people who may have moral or legal claims of dependency.
    - hellrich 15y ago
      Your ability to make this decision would be impaired if you had a mental illness like depression.
    - ryan-allen 15y ago
      Of course suicide isn't a mental illness. How about you have a look at some facts from the US NIMH [1], how about I summarise some poignant facts: "Research shows that risk factors for suicide include: depression and other mental disorders, or a substance-abuse disorder (often in combination with other mental disorders). More than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have these risk factors." So, you're happy to condemn 90% of people who commit suicide to go and 'make that choice' because 'it's their right'? I don't disagree that it's anyone's so-called 'right' to kill themselves, but when 90% of individuals who do so are suffering from mental illness or substance abuse disorders, I think it's far to broad and naive (not to mention downright heartless) to fob it off as a mere 'choice'. Have you known anyone personally who's comitted suicide? I bet that if someone close to you, whom was having a hard time (by stretch of the mind I wouldn't say it's too difficult to imagine in this economy, the loss of a job and a home could be a sufficient trigger for a Major Depressive Episode), decided to kill themselves over a temporary hardship. I doubt you'd merely say "well, it was their choice". I bet you'd rethink your statement and your position. You my friend are very wrong. [1] http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-in-the-us-statistics-and-prevention/index.shtml http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-in-the-u...

chunkyslink 15y ago

>> If you ever believe the possibility of something like happening is > .00001, do something, anything. If you don't know what to do, contact me (see my profile) and I'll help in any way I can. Its a nice thought, but people in this position often don't want help. My best Friend was doing a PHD in a Biochemistry related field at University College London back in 2003. He was an outgoing person, had a hot girlfriend and lots of friends. He had a what seemed like a great life and an even better future. One night we went out together and had a great night. We went our separate ways about 4am and I we arranged to meet at 5pm the next day. At 2pm the next afternoon I got a call from his flat mate saying that he had committed suicide. He had access to all kinds of chemicals and substances at the as part of his PHD and he had been taking little bits for months and months and making a potent cocktail of poison. He drank the poison and died instantly. There was no note, no explanation and no reason anyone knew. I was the last person (friend) to see him alive. I guess I'm saying - even balanced, successful people have their reasons and you will never know or be told what they are.

dchuk 15y ago
Unfortunately, an outgoing personality is a great way to protect yourself from people asking you the very painful question of "what's wrong"...I know now, after wrestling with depression for years, that sometimes it's harder to face your depression and explain your pain to others than it is to simply be depressed in the first place. What better way to defend yourself than by acting exactly opposite of how you really are?
- billpatrianakos 15y ago
  I'm sorry man, but that sounds awful. I'm a depression alumni with you. I did it all for a good 7 years - hopelessness, suicidal thoughts, then medication, then "fuck medication, I'm fine!" and "fuck medication! It doesn't work!", then heavy drug use and addiction, and counseling throughout. The feeling can be beyond words and the energy needed to talk about it seems beyond us but I've gone the pretend route where you put on a brave face and act like a different person and it's just not healthy. It leads to you being even more depressed and no one having a clue which is so dangerous. I don't have the answers to getting over it (which I have done, personally) but I do know that acting like a different person isn't a good way to go. I hope you're better these days, feel free to get in touch if not. I'd be happy to talk about whatever.

hobohazard 15y ago

It didn't really hit me until I stopped by his place. The only sign that something had happened was a paper tapped to a door saying "Party Cancelled". It's a really chocking feeling. I think I went there to know if it was true...to know what happened. As his death becomes more apparent, I don't care what happened. It's a huge loss. Ilya will be missed.

NZ_Matt 15y ago

Very tragic. It's the strong mind people that are some of the most vulnerable. RIP Ilya

urbanjunkie 15y ago

You seem to be implying that he committed suicide, and that you could have done something about it. Do you have any information about this? And why would you have been helpful in this situation?