4 ms·

It made us feel so insulted and betrayed that when my wife would cry in the NICU for any reason the nurses would tattle on her and she’d get a call from the pil

by wincy 4y ago

It made us feel so insulted and betrayed that when my wife would cry in the NICU for any reason the nurses would tattle on her and she’d get a call from the pill pushers trying to prescribe her psych meds. It’s like look, my kid has literally been in the NICU for 6 months now (it ended up being 9 months total) and you’re strongly pressuring us to get her a tracheostomy (let’s not use medical euphemism here though, they wanted to put a tube into our babies throat which would make her unable to cry and necessitate round the clock nursing care) as the “standard of care” (bullshit, it would have made her quality of life worse). But she’s a little upset, better prescribe her happy pills! For anyone wondering, this was 2019 and my daughter is right this moment peacefully sleeping in her bed with no external breathing aids necessary aside from a wedge pillow to help with her sleep apnea. My blood boils when I think of what we were forced through (especially my wife) dealing with the medical establishment after our daughter was born, but the psych meds being dangled in front of us is a particularly sore spot.

SoftTalker 4y ago
> she’d get a call from the pill pushers trying to prescribe her psych meds If your only tool is a hammer.... This is part of why I avoid the medical establishment.
jnovek 4y ago
I’m sorry for this entire experience that you’ve had. It sounds like a waking nightmare. I’m curious, did any doctor bring up therapy? I have major depressive disorder and I take antidepressants to help manage it. There was a landmark study a few years ago indicating that, while SSRIs/SNRIs are beneficial for people like me, they are no more effective than the placebo for people experiencing transient depression. Therapy, however, would’ve been a sound recommendation for her. In this case it would have given her a place to vent and taught her some tools to cope. Finally, you should consider whether you and your wife experience any post-traumatic stress from this experience. Your experience meets the qualifications for one that can lead to PTSD in DSM V. There are extremely effective therapy approaches that can put PTSD in complete remission.
- stephenhuey 4y ago
  Crying when sad has been helpful for a very long time. I’m not saying therapy is never helpful, but as a parent I’m also annoyed by the medical folks in wincy’s story for pushing pills when they faced a tougher situation than any I have ever experienced and crying was certainly a very normal response. And venting to friends and receiving hugs probably helped even though the expected ache might remain while the baby was struggling. There are too many pills in the USA where people need a lot more compassionate friends and acknowledgment that feeling bad is actually not so bad.
  - jnovek 4y ago
    Are you an able bodied person? Because when someone says people in America take “too many pills” it sounds like a very able bodied mindset. I take 8 daily prescription medications to cope with chronic pain and chronic mental health issues. Removing any of them would diminish my quality of life in some way. How are compassionate friends going to help me manage depression which is endemic to my brain and has no cause in my perceived reality? Life comes in many perspectives. Before you prescribe how the disabled should live, please at least imagine walking a mile in our shoes.
    - stephenhuey 4y ago
      Trust me, I'm not saying I've walked any miles in your shoes. I have relatives who have been disabled. I also have relatives who have taken many pills, and I have no doubt that many are necessary. As an American who grew up partly abroad, I have a desire to see increased relational commitment and support and believe that for many people, so many pills would not be necessary. I don't know you, I mean you no offense, and I don't believe I'm talking about someone in your situation. Based on news reports for the past several years, it's no secret that there are too many pills in the USA that are often being given to people who probably don't need them, and instead need something else. Medicate first and actually deal with it later (or never deal with the underlying problem) is not always the best course of action for many people.
layer8 4y ago
> My blood boils Better get some prescription for that. ;)

by wincy 4y ago

SoftTalker 4y ago

> she’d get a call from the pill pushers trying to prescribe her psych meds If your only tool is a hammer.... This is part of why I avoid the medical establishment.

jnovek 4y ago

I’m sorry for this entire experience that you’ve had. It sounds like a waking nightmare. I’m curious, did any doctor bring up therapy? I have major depressive disorder and I take antidepressants to help manage it. There was a landmark study a few years ago indicating that, while SSRIs/SNRIs are beneficial for people like me, they are no more effective than the placebo for people experiencing transient depression. Therapy, however, would’ve been a sound recommendation for her. In this case it would have given her a place to vent and taught her some tools to cope. Finally, you should consider whether you and your wife experience any post-traumatic stress from this experience. Your experience meets the qualifications for one that can lead to PTSD in DSM V. There are extremely effective therapy approaches that can put PTSD in complete remission.

stephenhuey 4y ago
Crying when sad has been helpful for a very long time. I’m not saying therapy is never helpful, but as a parent I’m also annoyed by the medical folks in wincy’s story for pushing pills when they faced a tougher situation than any I have ever experienced and crying was certainly a very normal response. And venting to friends and receiving hugs probably helped even though the expected ache might remain while the baby was struggling. There are too many pills in the USA where people need a lot more compassionate friends and acknowledgment that feeling bad is actually not so bad.
- jnovek 4y ago
  Are you an able bodied person? Because when someone says people in America take “too many pills” it sounds like a very able bodied mindset. I take 8 daily prescription medications to cope with chronic pain and chronic mental health issues. Removing any of them would diminish my quality of life in some way. How are compassionate friends going to help me manage depression which is endemic to my brain and has no cause in my perceived reality? Life comes in many perspectives. Before you prescribe how the disabled should live, please at least imagine walking a mile in our shoes.
  - stephenhuey 4y ago
    Trust me, I'm not saying I've walked any miles in your shoes. I have relatives who have been disabled. I also have relatives who have taken many pills, and I have no doubt that many are necessary. As an American who grew up partly abroad, I have a desire to see increased relational commitment and support and believe that for many people, so many pills would not be necessary. I don't know you, I mean you no offense, and I don't believe I'm talking about someone in your situation. Based on news reports for the past several years, it's no secret that there are too many pills in the USA that are often being given to people who probably don't need them, and instead need something else. Medicate first and actually deal with it later (or never deal with the underlying problem) is not always the best course of action for many people.

layer8 4y ago

> My blood boils Better get some prescription for that. ;)