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Not being poor or in debt also helps quite a bit. Having a perspective and not being stuck in jobs that will never pay a house no matter what you do might also

by nisa 4y ago

Not being poor or in debt also helps quite a bit. Having a perspective and not being stuck in jobs that will never pay a house no matter what you do might also help. Having successful parents also helps, otherwise it's difficult to read all the subtle social cues that make a difference. Never felt as anxious and isolated as when hanging around with privileged art students. Subjectively society got a lot more focused on social status than it used to be. People from different backgrounds don't mix up easily anymore and it's subtle. Lacking a perspective and feeling excluded it's hard to not experience anxiety. Experimenting and being brave is also easier if you know you will fall soft. If you don't know how to pay the rent next month you are not going out and make new experiences or learn new skills - you are stuck and nervous. Might be hyperbole but I wouldn't underestimate that as it's difficult to relax in such a situation. Avoiding unpleasant situations and becoming addicted to your phone/internet/media might either be a cause or an effect of this - it's not helping for sure.

tapanjk 4y ago
> Never felt as anxious and isolated as when hanging around with privileged art students. I am picking up a broad brush but bear with me for the moment. It is likely that half -- if not more -- of those 'privileged art students' felt anxious and isolated in spite of their positive demeanor. If privilege alone was a solution for general well-being, we would not have as many rich and famous people struggling to keep it straight. Don't get me wrong, privilege helps a lot, but may not be enough. Growing up, I thought that if only my family had more money, I would feel much better. Now, I think that my anxiety is caused by other things such as lack of control over my schedule, uncertainty about the future, and feeling of stuckness in the job (even if it is well paid). On the other hand, knowing that I have multiple options for gainful employment and having the ability to work on things that I care about -- brings me joy and satisfaction. In short, just having the ability to walk away from a situation is calming and joy-inducing. It does not matter whether that situation is good or bad, all that matters is that I have options.
- nisa 4y ago
  You are correct of course. My comment was kind of all over the place without any clear idea - I just wanted to illustrate that anxiety can also be triggered by the feeling - real or imagined - to not belong. Maybe mixing up class/privilege kind of misses the point as you said there are probably enough well off people full of anxiety. It was just a situation I vividly remembered and as such it's difficult to convey without context and maybe just unfair.

by nisa 4y ago

tapanjk 4y ago

> Never felt as anxious and isolated as when hanging around with privileged art students. I am picking up a broad brush but bear with me for the moment. It is likely that half -- if not more -- of those 'privileged art students' felt anxious and isolated in spite of their positive demeanor. If privilege alone was a solution for general well-being, we would not have as many rich and famous people struggling to keep it straight. Don't get me wrong, privilege helps a lot, but may not be enough. Growing up, I thought that if only my family had more money, I would feel much better. Now, I think that my anxiety is caused by other things such as lack of control over my schedule, uncertainty about the future, and feeling of stuckness in the job (even if it is well paid). On the other hand, knowing that I have multiple options for gainful employment and having the ability to work on things that I care about -- brings me joy and satisfaction. In short, just having the ability to walk away from a situation is calming and joy-inducing. It does not matter whether that situation is good or bad, all that matters is that I have options.

nisa 4y ago
You are correct of course. My comment was kind of all over the place without any clear idea - I just wanted to illustrate that anxiety can also be triggered by the feeling - real or imagined - to not belong. Maybe mixing up class/privilege kind of misses the point as you said there are probably enough well off people full of anxiety. It was just a situation I vividly remembered and as such it's difficult to convey without context and maybe just unfair.