This is thought provoking, but suffers from a fundamental flaw. Let’s play this out…now you’re alive and have Satoshi’s keys, but all of the would-be bidders a

This is thought provoking, but suffers from a fundamental flaw. Let’s play this out…now you’re alive and have Satoshi’s keys, but all of the would-be bidders and pumpers in your universe have killed themselves, value goes to zero. I think you may have accidentally discovered the Quantum Bag Holder Paradox.