Along with setting expectations, you can set consequences. "If you do X, I will do Y." With that understanding, you've left your child a choice, and you are n

Along with setting expectations, you can set consequences. "If you do X, I will do Y." With that understanding, you've left your child a choice, and you are not being an authoritarian parent, provided your consequences are within reason. Many parents will simply do Y without letting their child know the consequences ahead of time. That can lead to disdain of the parent, rightfully so! If your boss asks you to setup a meeting, and you invite a salesperson he didn't want there, and he demotes you from being "meeting organizer" for that, is it justified? Was he clear it was an engineering meeting, or tell you not to include salespeople? It depends on the context. Maybe you needed to learn something, maybe he did, or maybe you both did. Many parenting books do not regard this as "Punishment", yet it is still discipline. See "Positive Discipline" for more on this topic.