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Yeah, I was going to respond with a missing possibility: maybe happiness is not the point of life. Personally, I feel like happiness is a PART of a fulfilling l

Yeah, I was going to respond with a missing possibility: maybe happiness is not the point of life. Personally, I feel like happiness is a PART of a fulfilling life, but not the whole of it. I know in my life, I was likely ‘happier’ when I didn’t have kids… I spent more hours of the day doing things that I wanted to do, and those things made me happy in the moment. Now, with two young kids, I am spending less time doing the things I would choose to spend my time on, and I have fewer moments where I am in the flow and maximally happy. However, I feel WAY more satisfied with my life now, and feel much more compete and with a clear purpose in my life. There is a reason why hedonism is often looked down on; if your only motivation is your own happiness, your life will end up lacking.

mherdeg 4y ago
The Bluey episode "Fruit Bat" touches on this -- when you decide to have kids you're choosing to forego a lot of fun, in Bandit's case pickup football matches with adult friends. It's a conscious choice and the tradeoff is a very different life focus. I don't think one or the other purpose is inherently better, just different. Having two young kids at home for the past two years with full-time jobs and minimal childcare has really stretched things further than I would have expected. Watching how much the older kid loves going to the library, check out a stack of books, take them to the playground and read them while his sister plays -- while they both exude sheer joy -- has been unforgettably good. It's not all happy times; the kids need a lot of help and they aren't always cooperative. But it's the job I signed up for and it has a uniquely valuable comp structure.