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I think a lot of success in life is actually turning trauma into a motivating force. That doesn't really help to resolve the trauma, but it does create an illus

I think a lot of success in life is actually turning trauma into a motivating force. That doesn't really help to resolve the trauma, but it does create an illusion of safety you can buy into, often helping to provide a space for processing. I struggle with just how much traumatic processing is worthwhile. Like if you accept that everyone in life was always doing the best that they could in the moments in which they hurt you or themselves, or you replay the traumatic events and see them through your adult eyes, or if you try to recontextualize them some other way, at what point do you just put down the trauma and live? Trauma comes in waves. It never really goes away as far as I can tell, you just develop a new relationship to it. I am reminded continually of Dune. “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ― Frank Herbert, Dune I am continually reminded that there are deities in the South Eastern religions which have angry forms when they are unfed and benevolent forms when they are fed. The same deity can be a source of fear or a source of power depending on your relationship to it. A concept I've thought a lot about recently is, instead of turning away from anger and fear, feeding my anger and fear until they are no longer angry gods but instead, benevolent beings who help me to contextualize my reality. I have found it is possible, at least for me, to do this without any outward expression of fear or anger, only inner acceptance that those feelings are real, valid, and not something that serves me at this time. I'm not sure if these ramblings are helpful, but I hope you find peace on your journey, at least if that's what you're looking for <3.

UncleOxidant 4y ago
> A concept I've thought a lot about recently is, instead of turning away from anger and fear, feeding my anger and fear Some schools of psychological thought say that anger is rarely a primary emotion. It's often a cloak for fear.
- deleted 4y ago
  [deleted]
IIAOPSW 4y ago
>I think a lot of success in life is actually turning trauma into a motivating force. That doesn't really help to resolve the trauma, but it does create an illusion of safety you can buy into Calling out the illusion ruins it asshole.
- josh2600 4y ago
  For you.
creakingstairs 4y ago
> feeding my anger and fear until they are no longer angry gods but instead, benevolent beings who help me to contextualize my reality I’ve been reading “Body keeps the score”, and one of the concepts that came up is pretty much this. Instead of rejecting the self that is “bad” (“I’m always critical and I hate it”), objectively acknowledge that part of self(“There is a part of me that is a critic”). Then, accept/thank that part has been doing that for a reason (“My critical self is trying to stop me from getting hurt”). Just like you, I’ve found it helpful to looking inward and “thanking” them for protecting me. But gently telling them that it’s not needed anymore.
- rrishi 4y ago
  That feels like a really useful strategy. Thanks for describing it so well. My inner critic tends to get pretty brutal often.
  - josh2600 4y ago
    My father told me that you should never tear yourself down, there are plenty of other people to do that for you. My advice is to listen to the parts of the critic that serve to improve your ability to heal the world (including yourself) and discard much of the rest.
- TheBozzCL 4y ago
  Spoilers for the game Celeste below: This has a strong parallel with an important part of the plot. Over the course of trying to climb the mountain the game is named after, you constantly run into your “dark self” and struggle against it. It insults you and tries to get you to stop give up and go home. At first you run from it, but then you start fighting it until you actually chase it. Near the end, you have a moment where you learn the “dark self” cares about you deeply and is trying to protect you, albeit in a toxic way. Once you reconcile and work together, letting go of the fear, you finally reach the summit.

UncleOxidant 4y ago

> A concept I've thought a lot about recently is, instead of turning away from anger and fear, feeding my anger and fear Some schools of psychological thought say that anger is rarely a primary emotion. It's often a cloak for fear.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]

IIAOPSW 4y ago

>I think a lot of success in life is actually turning trauma into a motivating force. That doesn't really help to resolve the trauma, but it does create an illusion of safety you can buy into Calling out the illusion ruins it asshole.

josh2600 4y ago
For you.

creakingstairs 4y ago

> feeding my anger and fear until they are no longer angry gods but instead, benevolent beings who help me to contextualize my reality I’ve been reading “Body keeps the score”, and one of the concepts that came up is pretty much this. Instead of rejecting the self that is “bad” (“I’m always critical and I hate it”), objectively acknowledge that part of self(“There is a part of me that is a critic”). Then, accept/thank that part has been doing that for a reason (“My critical self is trying to stop me from getting hurt”). Just like you, I’ve found it helpful to looking inward and “thanking” them for protecting me. But gently telling them that it’s not needed anymore.

rrishi 4y ago
That feels like a really useful strategy. Thanks for describing it so well. My inner critic tends to get pretty brutal often.
- josh2600 4y ago
  My father told me that you should never tear yourself down, there are plenty of other people to do that for you. My advice is to listen to the parts of the critic that serve to improve your ability to heal the world (including yourself) and discard much of the rest.
TheBozzCL 4y ago
Spoilers for the game Celeste below: This has a strong parallel with an important part of the plot. Over the course of trying to climb the mountain the game is named after, you constantly run into your “dark self” and struggle against it. It insults you and tries to get you to stop give up and go home. At first you run from it, but then you start fighting it until you actually chase it. Near the end, you have a moment where you learn the “dark self” cares about you deeply and is trying to protect you, albeit in a toxic way. Once you reconcile and work together, letting go of the fear, you finally reach the summit.