6 ms·

I guess that would work for a lot of people, but I'm personally not attracted to bald men. So I think I'd prefer if my husband got the transplants, I think our

I guess that would work for a lot of people, but I'm personally not attracted to bald men. So I think I'd prefer if my husband got the transplants, I think our only problem is money... but the more I think about it, it'll probably be worth it for our marriage in the long run.

quacked 4y ago
I won't ask any questions to avoid embarrassing your husband on this forum where he can't defend himself, but I will note that if he isn't in good shape or dresses unfashionably (not necessarily stylish--simply clean clothes that fit well and flatter him), baldness will hit him much harder. You may help your relationship by assisting his improvement in those areas; if that's already the case and you really just can't stand baldness, alas.
GordonS 4y ago
Someone else in this thread said they got a hair transplant in Turkey for just $1,500, and from the pictures he posted the results were great! Instead of dropping $20k, maybe you could think about a family holiday to Turkey, and your hubby could get a transplant while there?
- stuckinhell 4y ago
  Yep, thats a good idea.
  - penguin_booze 4y ago
    This Reddit might be of interest: https://www.reddit.com/r/HairTransplants/ https://www.reddit.com/r/HairTransplants/.
sidewndr46 4y ago
This comment is rather interesting to me. If I understand what you are saying here is that unless your husband is willing to undergo cosmetic surgery the long-term probability of you two staying together goes down?
- missingrib 4y ago
  She's being insanely callous, as is fashionable to do on this website for some reason.
  - happytoexplain 4y ago
    She's actually communicating quite reasonably and sounds pragmatic, not callous. I'm frankly astounded by the amount and severity of weirdly "normal" angry replies about this on HN ("normal" as in typical on the internet). Even on emotional topics, there's usually only one or two of those, and they often get flagged quickly.
    - ad404b8a372f2b9 4y ago
      I say this without anger but it makes me feel as uncomfortable and sad as if I'd read "if my wife doesn't get breast implants our marriage will suffer." I can't imagine saying that to someone I'm in a relationship with or how gutted I'd feel if someone asked that of me. Maybe it's the kind of honesty and pragmatism you reach after decades of marriage, but it's horrible to read from the outside.
      - valarauko 4y ago
        I agree, and as a bald man myself, it's a tad surprising to read this from the spouse of a man who's currently only thinning - and someone they have two kids with. That thinning hair has been extrapolated to something that's irrevocably damaging to their marriage. I get it - a shiny pate isn't everybody's thing - but it's still surprising to read that it's worth losing a spouse and the father of your children over.
        happytoexplain 4y ago
        >irrevocably damaging to their marriage >worth losing a spouse and the father of your children over. Again, this is uncharitable exaggeration/rewording. Doing this to people perpetuates the unwillingness of many to speak honestly even at times when it would be ultimately beneficial.
dQw4w9WgXcQ 4y ago
> it'll probably be worth it for our marriage in the long run. What are you gonna do when you both get old? You're going be a saggy-breasted wrinkly bag (might already be due to the kids) and so will he, best figure out your attitude problem now.
- francisofascii 4y ago
  Being attracted to someone is not a choice. If people could trick their brain into being attracted to whoever they want, they would. I am afraid it is "built in" to a large extent. I agree with your sentiment, though. It is worth trying, but it is not as easy as an attitude adjustment.
  - pessimizer 4y ago
    Both of you are right, but if you plan to be married for life, it only goes downhill (with mild bursts of looking 5-10 years younger for a minute after you take up running in middle-age.)
- 5350-uiop-1130 4y ago
  it must be a troll...
hunterjrj 4y ago
While your concern is certainly very personal, and a deeply rooted preference over which you have little control, I have to point out that body shaming can have disastrous effects on the recipient[1]. Aging spares no one. Worth reflecting on. [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_shaming https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_shaming

quacked 4y ago

I won't ask any questions to avoid embarrassing your husband on this forum where he can't defend himself, but I will note that if he isn't in good shape or dresses unfashionably (not necessarily stylish--simply clean clothes that fit well and flatter him), baldness will hit him much harder. You may help your relationship by assisting his improvement in those areas; if that's already the case and you really just can't stand baldness, alas.

GordonS 4y ago

Someone else in this thread said they got a hair transplant in Turkey for just $1,500, and from the pictures he posted the results were great! Instead of dropping $20k, maybe you could think about a family holiday to Turkey, and your hubby could get a transplant while there?

stuckinhell 4y ago
Yep, thats a good idea.
- penguin_booze 4y ago
  This Reddit might be of interest: https://www.reddit.com/r/HairTransplants/ https://www.reddit.com/r/HairTransplants/.

sidewndr46 4y ago

This comment is rather interesting to me. If I understand what you are saying here is that unless your husband is willing to undergo cosmetic surgery the long-term probability of you two staying together goes down?

missingrib 4y ago
She's being insanely callous, as is fashionable to do on this website for some reason.
- happytoexplain 4y ago
  She's actually communicating quite reasonably and sounds pragmatic, not callous. I'm frankly astounded by the amount and severity of weirdly "normal" angry replies about this on HN ("normal" as in typical on the internet). Even on emotional topics, there's usually only one or two of those, and they often get flagged quickly.
  - ad404b8a372f2b9 4y ago
    I say this without anger but it makes me feel as uncomfortable and sad as if I'd read "if my wife doesn't get breast implants our marriage will suffer." I can't imagine saying that to someone I'm in a relationship with or how gutted I'd feel if someone asked that of me. Maybe it's the kind of honesty and pragmatism you reach after decades of marriage, but it's horrible to read from the outside.
    - valarauko 4y ago
      I agree, and as a bald man myself, it's a tad surprising to read this from the spouse of a man who's currently only thinning - and someone they have two kids with. That thinning hair has been extrapolated to something that's irrevocably damaging to their marriage. I get it - a shiny pate isn't everybody's thing - but it's still surprising to read that it's worth losing a spouse and the father of your children over.
      - happytoexplain 4y ago
        >irrevocably damaging to their marriage >worth losing a spouse and the father of your children over. Again, this is uncharitable exaggeration/rewording. Doing this to people perpetuates the unwillingness of many to speak honestly even at times when it would be ultimately beneficial.

dQw4w9WgXcQ 4y ago

> it'll probably be worth it for our marriage in the long run. What are you gonna do when you both get old? You're going be a saggy-breasted wrinkly bag (might already be due to the kids) and so will he, best figure out your attitude problem now.

francisofascii 4y ago
Being attracted to someone is not a choice. If people could trick their brain into being attracted to whoever they want, they would. I am afraid it is "built in" to a large extent. I agree with your sentiment, though. It is worth trying, but it is not as easy as an attitude adjustment.
- pessimizer 4y ago
  Both of you are right, but if you plan to be married for life, it only goes downhill (with mild bursts of looking 5-10 years younger for a minute after you take up running in middle-age.)
5350-uiop-1130 4y ago
it must be a troll...

hunterjrj 4y ago

While your concern is certainly very personal, and a deeply rooted preference over which you have little control, I have to point out that body shaming can have disastrous effects on the recipient[1]. Aging spares no one. Worth reflecting on. [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_shaming https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_shaming