Leader or ruler denotes hierarchy and rules (laws) that must be enforced, my understanding of the word anarchy refers to no hierarchy and no coercion and no gov

Leader or ruler denotes hierarchy and rules (laws) that must be enforced, my understanding of the word anarchy refers to no hierarchy and no coercion and no government. How do you enforce a code of conduct without threat of violence? What is the difference between a ruler and a leader who gives the orders to forcefully enact a law? You may stick to a code of conduct because you believe it to be right, others may not, what stops others from doing whatever they like to you? You can defend yourself (through violence) but you cannot do that against a larger better equipped group, instead you must be in your own group that is organized by a set rules that you must follow, and if you don't then there must be consequences. There is no such thing as a stable anarchy, it's simply law of the jungle.