I’ve had too many to count and they all seem insignificant when you see all of them individually. Together is where the picture of my life is drawn and you star

I’ve had too many to count and they all seem insignificant when you see all of them individually. Together is where the picture of my life is drawn and you start to understand. One that comes back to me a lot (cause I’m divorced) is the first time I fell for a lady due to her personality and not her looks. She wasn’t repulsive but she wasn’t exactly anything to look at either. To be honest - the idea of sex with her wasn’t entirely appealing from a non-emotional component. Anyway - that never went anywhere but it completely reshaped how I looked at women. Before - I genuinely believed I couldn’t find anyone who I’d fall for their personality more than their looks. I’d never met anyone who was that great to be around. I really thought the best I’d ever find was someone who was physically attractive but that I could at least find not miserable to be around. I didn’t think I’d ever find someone who I genuinely wanted to be around all the time and would appreciate from an intellectual and emotional level. It seemed too far fetched based on the many women I’d met before. Later - I met more women who were more balanced - more physical attraction and decent emotional attraction. I met my wife later and it was mostly the personality attraction again - I grew to appreciate her looks more but compared to some other women I’d been involved with - it wasn’t the same. I’ve learned that selecting a partner on personality also has strong drawbacks. It’s a struggle considering personality is very secondary in our current dating market. Physicality is everything. Such is the commoditization of our dating lives while living in a capitalistic market.