I was heavily tied to my religion since I was a child, and I'd reason almost all things in life in contrast to it, especially from a scientific stand-point, to

I was heavily tied to my religion since I was a child, and I'd reason almost all things in life in contrast to it, especially from a scientific stand-point, to make it look and sound legit to my perspective as much as I could, I was very faithful, but still kept it in moderation. When it suddenly clicked to me that maybe I was just deluding myself my whole life, and that was a few months after I went to my hometown from the big city I used to live in and study after the implosion I undergone through, I found myself heavily tied to so many ideologies I no longer wanted to be tied to, and I basically had to think of how I'd reconstruct my identity from the ground up. I started dropping my beliefs bits by bits, and re-evaluated my view of a lot of things I used to be against/for. On another hand, I also went into a complete hiatus, confining myself from the environment I was living in. I did cut my ties to everyone I used to know, and got into an escapism whirlpool for a few years while being as minimalistically hedonistic as I can as long as I don't get to affect or hurt anyone by it(I basically went into lazy mode, but I didn't want to put any burden of guilt on myself for that period of time). Since past year or so, I got out of that escapism loop, started getting social again, but I'm also pretty cautious in term who I want to spend my time with, especially since I did "waste"(I don't regret it) a good amount of it when I was keeping it to myself for that period of time. The implosion I had did made me rethink so many things in life, and I'm very thankful it did happens nonetheless.