4 ms·

Kinda having one right now. Would like advice. My FIL died very recently. We were close. It was expected, though quicker somehow. I'm to fill the big shoes.

Kinda having one right now. Would like advice. My FIL died very recently. We were close. It was expected, though quicker somehow. I'm to fill the big shoes. My first was born ~ 3 months ago. They're a joy I didn't know I could have and fill a hole in me that I didn't know was there. I'm so confused right now. The grief, the joy, so close together. My life has changed, totally, but it's all just getting through the sleepless nights now. I need to do more for my family, but I'm just exhausted. What can I do to set them up for success like my FIL did? What, in 5 years time, will I regret having not done? Thanks for any advice.

AnimalMuppet 4y ago
In five years (or maybe 20) you will regret not being with people. You won't so much regret the things you didn't get done; you'll regret the time you didn't spend just playing with them, listening to them. But that's more for a year from now. Now you're just trying to survive. Sleepless nights are hard. One thing you should consider: If you can afford it, hire someone to do your housecleaning. You've got bigger things to do with your time. > They're a joy I didn't know I could have and fill a hole in me that I didn't know was there. > I'm so confused right now. People grieve differently. There's no particular way that you're supposed to feel. My father died recently. I'm his executor. I think I'm doing OK, but I have been so busy with his affairs that I haven't really had time to feel. That may show up later, and I may be surprised at what I feel then. Maybe, with the birth, you haven't had time to feel either - or at least, haven't had time to sort out your feelings. That's OK. It will come. Until then, there's nothing wrong with having these mixed feelings.