4 ms·

In 2007, I joined the US Army infantry at the height of the Iraq war, two months after my 17th birthday. I had grown up brainwashed into the idea of military se

In 2007, I joined the US Army infantry at the height of the Iraq war, two months after my 17th birthday. I had grown up brainwashed into the idea of military service being the single best thing a person can do, and wanted nothing more at that point than to get out of my small hometown. As I was training with my unit for deployment, we were spending days on end practicing combat drills to storm buildings. This was the peak of the insurgency, so our mission was more or less kidnapping persons of interest and sending them off to Abu Ghraib. It was in that moment, practicing room clearing with automatic weapons, that I knew that this wasn't who I was. An entire (short) lifetime of being completely sure about my identity vanished in an instant. I knew that I had more to give to the world than this; being a tool of violent fascism. I went AWOL shortly after. Spent months hitchhiking across the southwest. Eventually turned myself in and (miraculously) got out with an honorable discharge. But I learned the most important lesson in my life, which is that everything is meaningless once you lose your ethical standing. Nothing is more crucial than safeguarding your humanity.

jacquesm 4y ago
That is real bravery.
throwaway_4ever 4y ago
Thank you for your service.
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gaws 4y ago
> Eventually turned myself in and (miraculously) got out with an honorable discharge. How did you swing this?
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- ramesh31 4y ago
  >How did you swing this? Mostly luck and timing. I was in a combat unit that was deploying to Iraq in a matter of weeks as part of the troop surge. They didn't have the time or interest in court martialling me for the AWOL charges when I came back. So they busted me down to E-1 private, put me on extra duty, and told me I was still going to deploy. At that point I knew I had to get out. My first thought was to go for Conscientious Objector status, but that only gets you reassigned to non combat duties. So I spoke with an army doctor about why I went AWOL, and convinced him that it was part of a bipolar manic episode. Bipolar disorder is one of a few preexisting conditions that can qualify you for an honorable discharge, so as soon as the diagnosis was made, I was put on the "do not deploy" list and processed out.
  - gaws 4y ago
    > So I spoke with an army doctor about why I went AWOL, and convinced him that it was part of a bipolar manic episode. Bipolar disorder is one of a few preexisting conditions that can qualify you for an honorable discharge, so as soon as the diagnosis was made, I was put on the "do not deploy" list and processed out. And you're still dealing with bipolar disorder?
    - ramesh31 4y ago
      > And you're still dealing with bipolar disorder? Yes, although mild. Even though my service triggered and agravated it, I don’t have any claims to disability because it was considered preexisting. The deal with my discharge was basically “We’ll give you an honorable in exchange for not claiming disability”. I think it was a fair trade.

jacquesm 4y ago

That is real bravery.

throwaway_4ever 4y ago

Thank you for your service.

deleted 4y ago
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gaws 4y ago

> Eventually turned myself in and (miraculously) got out with an honorable discharge. How did you swing this?

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
ramesh31 4y ago
>How did you swing this? Mostly luck and timing. I was in a combat unit that was deploying to Iraq in a matter of weeks as part of the troop surge. They didn't have the time or interest in court martialling me for the AWOL charges when I came back. So they busted me down to E-1 private, put me on extra duty, and told me I was still going to deploy. At that point I knew I had to get out. My first thought was to go for Conscientious Objector status, but that only gets you reassigned to non combat duties. So I spoke with an army doctor about why I went AWOL, and convinced him that it was part of a bipolar manic episode. Bipolar disorder is one of a few preexisting conditions that can qualify you for an honorable discharge, so as soon as the diagnosis was made, I was put on the "do not deploy" list and processed out.
- gaws 4y ago
  > So I spoke with an army doctor about why I went AWOL, and convinced him that it was part of a bipolar manic episode. Bipolar disorder is one of a few preexisting conditions that can qualify you for an honorable discharge, so as soon as the diagnosis was made, I was put on the "do not deploy" list and processed out. And you're still dealing with bipolar disorder?
  - ramesh31 4y ago
    > And you're still dealing with bipolar disorder? Yes, although mild. Even though my service triggered and agravated it, I don’t have any claims to disability because it was considered preexisting. The deal with my discharge was basically “We’ll give you an honorable in exchange for not claiming disability”. I think it was a fair trade.